It's all about me...

So Sad To See This Blog Go HNT

2006-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how the H, N and T on a keyboard are very close together?

Hope yours is a Happy HNT. See you at my new spot.

I've Moved!

2006-10-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Beta Blogger here I come. You can now find me here. Ladies and gentlemen, update your links.

:o)

Beauty

2006-10-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

Boys and girls, go to this website. Watch the movie. Then it will all make sense.

BFF Tagged Me

2006-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

1. One book that changed your life.
Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown
This woman was dealt EVERY hardship yet managed to write herself her very own success story. In life, there really are NO excuses.

2. One book you have read more than once.
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This book made me looooooove my relationship with my brother. Read it as a youth and had to read it as an adult for it to really make an impact.

3. One book that you would want on a deserted island.
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
I could read this over and over but I'm afraid to crack it again. I devoured like a woman possessed.

4. One book that made you cry.
Marley & Me by John Grogan
A man and his dog? Are you kidding me? Sobbing. Had to put the book down to bawl.

5. One book that made you laugh.
The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer
Read this while waiting for jury duty and I think my isolated laughter frightened the other jurors. Plus the kid on the cover looks exactly like my brother to me.

6. One book you wish had been written.
I'm with BFF on this one, the 7th and final Harry Potter. GIVEITTOME!!!

7. One book you wish had never been written.
The Bible/Koran/Torah, etcetera, et. al.
Perhaps religious zealotry and its wars could have been avoided? I guess we'll never know.

8. One book you are currently reading.
Textbooks but ready to be read next is Spook by Mary Roach (Stiff was awesome!).

9. One book you've been meaning to read.
My Ancient Mexico and Central America text. Whoopsie!

10. One book you're glad to own.
Honestly? Every one on the bookshelf. It's why I have 'em.

11. One book from which you must read aloud.
Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Hey, I was a nanny and kids dig this book.

Study Buddies!

2006-10-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

My professor is a complete and utter tool. She wanted to wait until the last possible moment to post our PowerPoint slide review so we wouldn't ditch class and as of late last night that stupid thing wouldn't even open. Our midterm is tomorrow. Meaning? I'm going to have no time to study for that aspect of our exam. Nice. She makes my stomach twist in knots, she does.
However I did get a chance to do some studying last night! For the first time in my academic career I met up with another student in the library to crack the books. Then he ended up taking me to dinner and back to his very empty, very isolated office to do some more studying. I guess neither of us was very comfortable bringing the other one home. I don't have a table whereas he has experience with other study buddies turning into stalkers. To each their own.
Exile and I were having a conversation on how to read the opposite sex to see if they are interested in more than studying. I said you can always tell because there are a lot more taps and pats interspersed in the conversation. Flattery, too. Also, watch out for eye contact. And? It seems I was right because all the signs were there last night. But no I don't have any juicy details. It was strictly business on my end.
I'd like to open the floor and ask you to tell me how you let the opposite sex (or same if you swing that way) know that you want to knock boots. Ready? Break!

2006-10-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

Look What You Gondola and Did

2006-10-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

I was so stinkin' productive yesterday! Went to the gym, hit Farmer's Market for my produce and a cute little bouquet of gerbera daisies, washed my car, did my laundry... avoided studying for my midterm at all costs... Oh well, 4 outta 5 ain't bad. Yesterday was a crisp, fall Sunday. That means lots of sports on TV. And that, in turn, means beer at a bar showing said games. So it was written, so it shall be done. Kings almost beat the Ducks. Detroit beat St. Louis. And not that I'm a fan but I heard the Raiders actually managed to get a win under their belts so all right! Randi is a happy girl. While at the bar, Eli ran into a friend of his from his old job (from which he got fired for looking at porn during office hours - sorry, I can't resist adding that every time) who ended up paying for our round and my chicken wings. So nice! On top of that he invited us back to his place which is pretty much on the channel near the harbor. We ended up taking a gondola ride and I got to steer the boat - poorly I might add but that's beside the point. Apparently steering a gondola is not at all like driving a car. Go figure. Almost mowed down a kayaker but I guess as long as you wave all your sins are forgiven. And that's pretty much all I wanted to do was wave. At everyone along the channel. How many people can say they spent their Sunday sunset on a gondola??? Neat.

On a completely unrelated side note, WTF is up with the Flavor of Love reunion show? I thought it was supposed to be on last night. And I am glad Fox gets to bring us the World Series but I'm not ok with it putting Family Guy on hiatus until November 5th. Not ok with that at all. I instead filled my evening with Arrested Development DVDs and managed to plow through the hilarious first season. I recommend you Netflix them if you do that. Do it.

The Prestige

2006-10-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to review this particular movie because in writing about it, I'm bound to reveal secrets and I'm not one of those people to throw up a ***SPOILER ALERT*** so I guess you need to take your chances reading on... Phew. That was a mouthful. Key players from Batman Begins (Christian Bale, Michael Caine and director, Christopher Nolan) join together again to bring you The Prestige. Previews led me to believe this would be a scary magic movie yet it ended up being a suspenseful sci-fi revenge flick. Personally I find Hugh Jackman much more appealing as Wolverine or Van Helsing but he was impressive as a magician scorned and a man obsessed with learning his foe's tricks to seek the ultimate pay back. David Bowie and Andy Serkis are creepy electricity wranglers, the lead chick from Coyote Ugly and ScarJo make lovely magician's assistants and there are a lot of British accents to be found... yet Hugh Jackman has an American accent. And is Australian. Discuss amongst yourselves. I can't make a definitive statement about this movie other than it kept me guessing about the plot until about halfway through and then it was just a matter of wondering where the incessant twists and turns would take me. Aargh! I want to get into the sci-fi aspect more but I know if I do I will ruin the movie for you even though throughout the movie they hint at what's really going on pretty much the whole time. This movie was neither good nor bad and ultimately I kinda wish I would have seen the "other" magic movie - The Illusionist. Oh well. Next time.

Sleepy Monkey

2006-10-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

This kid is never awake. Ever. But at least in this pic he's nice and clean, sans pacifier (a.k.a. chupon) and dressed to the nine's as "mommy's little monster." Franny told a cute little story that the other night he was sleeping on her chest so she couldn't really get up to adjust herself. My brother was sleeping beside her so she said, "Curt, get this little monkey off of me" to which he sleepily jumped up and asked, "What monkey do you need?" Ethan's nursery has a jungle theme so there is no shortage of monkeys in the house. Ethan being the biggest one.

Make Like a Baby and Head Out Haiku Friday

2006-10-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

My how things have changed

New member of the family

Love is in the air

***
Mother effing Mets

My close link to the Dodgers

Sucky World Series

***

Geez, bipolar much?

What did I say about love?

It's the midterm stress

No Half-Nekked Auntie

2006-10-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

Taurus
April 19 - May 19
A new relationship is likely to form soon, and it will probably be with someone who is already in your life. Perhaps it is someone you knew in high school and you're just recently back in touch, or perhaps a colleague at work suddenly begins to pay you a lot of attention. Romance is definitely in the air today, dear Taurus, so keep your eyes open for subtle cues from the potential dates.

This is today's horoscope. It's pretty on the money because of many reasons. I am back in touch with jailbird so there's that. Then, after class I made a new buddy and we exchanged numbers, made plans to go to the museum and he emailed me last night. Potentials? Let's hope so! Haha. Also, the nice girl in class turned out to be someone who went to my high school. She was a senior when I was a freshman so we didn't know eachother then but the 805 really is proving to be tiny. Not that we'll date, as she is a wife and mother, I'm just saying. Crazy MSN.

Hump Day for Aunties!

2006-10-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Wow. I'm beat and I wasn't even the one to give birth. Yesterday was the best experience of my life to this point. My brother Curtis was the definition of proud papa and seeing him crying when he looked at his son literally melted my heart right out of my body. Thank God with all the placenta lying around everywhere, no one noticed. Frannis looked better than all of us and she not only popped out a big ol' baby but she had been awake for days. She did a great job. And for those of you worried about it, this blog won't become "It's all about Ethan" but right now I'm euphoric over my first nephew. Just about as stoked as my parents are about becoming grandparents. My dad told Frannis, "This is the best gift anyone could have given me." Kill me now. Dying.
Strange things were afoot at the hospital though. The nurse that delivered Ethan is one of my best guy friend's ex-girlfriends from high school. My nephew's "other aunt" is someone I went to high school with. My brother's buddy Fino from when they were in high school was also at the hospital having his 2nd baby on his birthday. Wow, right? I guess the 805 is just a tiny little town and everyone's connected.
Last night I went over to my friend Eli's house because he said he had a surprise for me. He said that he had something that he really appreciated when he became an uncle. Now, Eli is not so sentimental and I had no idea what was in store. Well, he'd gone out and bought a bottle of champagne (2 actually - one's for my brother) and he toasted me. That was awesome. Followed up by making me dinner... well quite frankly it couldn't have been a better night. So that's that in a nutshell. Tomorrow will resume my regular posting about nonsense.

Ethan Daniel B****h

2006-10-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

The new grandparents with Mom

Why are you so serious? Do you have sideburns?

This kid's nut sack is NO JOKE

The proud parents.

8 pounds, 9 ounces. 21 inches. Born October 17 at 2:30 in the afternoon.

You guys? I'm in love.

And thank you so much for your thoughts and wishes.

Nephew Watch '06 Update!!!

2006-10-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well I got a phone call at 2:30 this morning that Franny was at the hospital. Jumped into some clothes and drove vehicular out to Ventura to the hospital. Her contractions were about 5 minutes apart and she'd dilated a centimeter. Poor thing was in a lot of pain. After an hour and a half of sitting around they sent her home. She no sooner got to the condo and they had to turn right back around because her water broke. Stupid hospitals. I guess they walked her up and down the halls, for which she thanked them by vomiting in said hall. Now she's at about 5 centimeters. That little man is coming today come hell or high water. I will update you as I know more. I have literally been dreaming about babies all night and I want to meet my nephew soooooooo bad that I'm on pins and needles.

11:00 a.m. - I lied when I said she was up to 5 centimeters this morning. It was actually 3. Now she's up to 6. At this rate Peanut ought to be here this afternoon... we're guessing around 4?

12:00 p.m. - They're giving her some drugs to bring the contractions closer together. She remains steady at 6 cms. Father & Mother are sans sleep.

Stars 4, Kings 1

2006-10-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

I want to be a passenger on a zamboni so bad.

Barnaby & Avery... not much unlike ebony & ivory right?

Fight!!! Penalties all around.

I'm sorry... Who's the Boss?

3rd row. Center ice. Spitting distance from the Dallas penalty box. Alyssa Milano. Secret stalker pics cuz she said "no pictures" to the gals behind us. Ya heard. There was a melee that involved all the players so you can see their gear scattered on the ice. God do I love hockey. We even bought Peanut his own little warm up outfit. So cute. If only he'd show up so he could wear it.

Lotsa Stuff

2006-10-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

My nephew is "in the position" but not going anywhere. Apparently Franny's womb is the place to be. So far my nephew is proving to me that he is naughty and needs a spankin'.
I have what is commonly referred to as a hangover today. Many beers, many ball games... the 2 go hand in hand. A Monday hangover is not something I recommend. Friday maybe. But not Monday.
Mets? Get on with your bad selves! Take it all the way!
I easily gained back those 3 pounds I told you I lost over the weekend. Why can't I resist a hot wing? And Pistachio Haagen Dazs?
For some reason, I'm friends with most of my exes. It makes me wonder, why is it they don't want to be with me yet they don't want to let me go?
Delishis (I'm pretty sure that's the way Flav spelled it) won Flavor of Love last night. I kinda thought it would be Krazy but knew for damn sure it wouldn't be New York. Bitches be crazy. I'm antsy for next week's reunion show. I'm hooked.
Is it wrong for a married man and father to send an ex girlfriend a pic of his penis? Just wondering.
Target is the place to be for Halloween stuff, you guys. I can't go in there without spending at least $100. I'm now the proud owner of 3 seasons of Arrested Development on DVD. Yes!
Someone bought me a rose last night. I can't remember the last time that happened.

I'll try and be a little less lame in further blog postings. Thanks.

Nephew Watch 2006!!!

2006-10-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the good fortune on a very unlucky day to get 4 free hockey tickets for tonight's Kings vs. Dallas Stars game. See if my guys can't get their dignity back after Thurday's loss (season's still young...). Naturally I invited my brother and his very pregnant girlfriend but when she called to ask her doctor for permission she got a big fat no. Turns out the little guy has stretched her a good 2 inches in a matter of a couple weeks and he's in the crowning position. There was a lot of talk about her cervix and centimeters and dilation but I won't go into all that here. In layman's terms, if she doesn't have my nephew this weekend it's going to come down to inducing labor... probably Monday. So say your prayers, light your candles and cross your fingers for my family that all goes well. I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE!!!
(This was my 500th post. Wow, right?) Still no baby. Still not an auntie. Sis-in-law's headed to the OB/GYN at 10 a.m. here on the 16th of October. We'll have more news then.

Do me! Do me!

2006-10-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

I ____ Randi.
Randi is ____.
Randi thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Randi.
If I were alone in a room with Randi, I would _______.
I think Randi should _____.
Randi needs ______.
I want to ____________ Randi.
If I could describe Randi in a word: _______.

Naturally, I stole this from Itchy.

Blue Haiku Friday

2006-10-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Internet is slow

Cloudy gray skies say it's rain

TGIF, kids

***

Happy hour last night

The Mets are former Dodgers

I'm glad they're winning

***

School is super hard

I cancelled the housewarming

Too overwhelming

Nails & Boobies HNT

2006-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Remember, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Don't forget to shower the boobs you love with a lot of affection and TLC. And while you're at it, go make a donation. I missed the Boobie-Thon this year but that doesn't mean you can't go drop some dollar$.

And, DD, this mani's for you!

HaPpY hNt!!!

Weight on Wednesday

2006-10-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

It's so weird typing with my acrylics on again. A lot noisier, too... but damn do my hands look good! Yippeee! No more scratchies and sex appeal? Can't beat that.
Anyway, what I really came here to rant about today is my weight. For those of you long-time readers and archive lurkers, this should come of no surprise. I went on Weight Watchers last year and lost about 13 pounds, going from 178 to 165. Over the past several months I've been doing a maintenance program that consists of a lot of fat-free yogurt, 100-calorie snack packs, carrot sticks and Lean Cuisine lunches. So far so good. Maybe about 3 pounds managed to find their way back to my ass but for the most part I've been pretty consistent. I blame the candy in the office and my lack of will power for my gain. I refuse to blame the beer. I love it too much to accuse it of hurting me.
Well getting sick sure re-motivated me to jump back on the diet bandwagon. Over the course of my week at home I managed to drop those 3 pounds and right now my size 10s are sitting loosely on my hips. The gym has been nothing more than a fantasy because of my inability to breathe for more than a few minutes without coughing or blowing my nose but I simply can't wait to get back on that treadmill. I even went and bought a Crunch Pilates/Yoga DVD to do at home because BFF inspired me with her dedication to her Pilates class.
With winter coming, I'm going to need all the inspiration I can get. Those bulky clothes and holiday treats spell nothing but delicious disaster. I know I'm not a big ol' fatty and I refuse to call myself names. I like who I see in the mirror in the morning but I just want my tummy to be a little flatter and for my butt to be a bit firmer. It's not much I'm asking for. So that's that. Kind of a "this is the first day of the rest of my life" post but I just wanted to rant. It's my blog. They let me do that here.

Nothing Doing

2006-10-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

So it's Tuesdsay. Round 2 at the office. I got sent home at noon yesterday because everyone got tired of listening to me cough and blow my nose. Currently I'm sipping on my favorite tea concoction and wishing it was a strong cup of coffee. But I'm feeling better! I can't believe it but it's true. I slept from 1 'til 4 yesterday afternoon and went to bed for good at 9. I don't ever need to sleep again.
***
P.S.A. - GET YOUR FLU SHOTS!!!
***
I don't know if it was because of Columbus Day or what but you select few have turned me into a comment whore here on my blog and yesterday I was super sad that lots of you weren't heard from. This is not a guilt trip, more of a compliment on how nice it is to hear from everyone.
***
I'm getting my fake nails put back on tonight. I need them. This stubby handed bullshit isn't working for me any more. I want beautiful hands. Not that it will matter, competing with my cold sore and all.
***
I think that ought to do it for now. If something fascinating happens I'll be sure to post again. Have a nice Tuesday.

Monday Blabber

2006-10-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

On Friday night I ended up hanging out with my ex (a.k.a. Jailbait). That was very interesting and not at all painful. Quite nice actually. The moral of that story is to not close too many doors because then you won't have the most random occurances to tell good stories about later. I'd also like to point out that I can hook up with someone when I have a cold sore on my lip and am recovering from the flu, basically relentless snot and coughing, yet when I am all dolled up and dressed to the nines, I can't even land a number. 'Splain that to me please.

On Saturday I watched my boys in blue kiss the playoffs goodbye. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't been swept but what can you do? It's hard to be in love with a team that always seems to let you down but it was a good season nonetheless. Maybe next year will be their year. The plus side is that hockey season has started and I can now invest all of my team spirit into the Kings. I'll miss you, Luc!

On Sunday I got pulled over for doing a California Roll which is basically the equivalent of slowing through a stop sign. I thought I stopped but what do I know? Mustn't have been for the mandatory three seconds. To my good fortune, I had Hetero Life Partner in the passenger seat and when the cop approached my window he saw her there, said his hellos and sent me on my way with nothing more than a warning (and maybe a pee stain in my panties but that's another tale for another day). It helps to know people that work in the Police Department.

And now today I'm back to work. Poor co-workers. I bet they're tired of all my sounds already. Too bad my work won't continue paying for me to sleep all day... Oh, and Columbus? You can suck it. Poser.

The Departed

2006-10-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I went to see The Departed, Martin Scorsese's latest attempt at nabbing that elusive Best Director Oscar. It's inevitable that I will compare all of his films to my favorite of his, Goodfellas, and this one actually stands up to the comparison. The Departed focuses on the Irish side of organized crime and left the Italians out of it. Set in Boston, it explores the corruption in its State Police Department. The all-star cast is impossible to ignore: Leo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg (I like him! I really like him!), Martin Sheen and, of course, Jack Nicholson. All of their performances were impressive and the twists in this movie kept me on the edge of my seat until the credits rolled. The tension is palpable when the two worlds of good and bad collide. The running time of this movie is about two and a half hours but it never felt too long. It's hard to review The Departed because I don't want to give away too much of the intense plot but I highly recommend seeing this one. There wasn't a moment when it didn't live up to my expectations.

New Link Button Haiku Friday

2006-10-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

Home again today

The boss told me to stay here

My fourth day of this

***

Being sick sure sucks

Don't forget to get flu shots

'Tis the season now

***

You guys are so sweet

Thanks for all the well wishes

I'll be better soon

P.S. Check out that sweeeeeeeeeet Haiku Friday button Exile created. You can go to his blog and get one of your very own so you, too, can play along. Is that not the coolest shit ever?

Pajama Thursday

2006-10-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yah, that's right. Still at home. Went to the doctor yesterday and he pretty much thanked me for ushering in the flu season. Now I'm all hopped up on codeine and I'm feelin' good. Well, better. Back to work tomorrow I guess. HNT was not an option today. There is nothing sexy about Kleenex, runny noses or puffy faces. Nothing at all. I'm not even in cute jammies.

Good thing about sick days? I get to watch DVDs. I threw in my newest acquisition of Pee Wee's Big Adventure and I wasn't disappointed. What concerns me, however, is how much I'm like P.W. We both have extremely eclectic homes and I talk to Vehicular EXACTLY THE SAME WAY as he talks to his beloved bike. If you haven't seen this one in a while, I recommend popping it in. Hard to believe, but I was only 8 years old when that bad boy was made. And I still love it just the same. And here's some fun trivia: one of the hobos is Blue from Old School. How about that?

And just because I'm in a rambling mood I am going to give you some Gran-isms that we use in our family. Ready? Here goes:
Er-uh: used when you're thinking of what to say next. Usually you say this with your mouth full as in "Er-uh, so and so is sure getting fat, isn't she?" (Everyone's fat. Everyone.)
Cripe Man: We think this may be a form of a curse word as in "Cripe man that was a delicious veal cutlet."
Dink: Usually this refers to my father the "Dumb Dink Bastard."
Jeezum Pwell: A variation on Jesus Christ.
Ta: used instead of Thank You. That's from Australia. I'd like to spread this one.
Oh, Gran. She's full of 'em. Quotes, too. Like to hear 'em? Here they go:
"I like a hot piece of fish and a cold beeyah." (a beeyah is actually a beer in Maine-speak)
"Re-heated beef makes me vomit."
"I don't like chocolate chips/sprinkles/desserts" Even though she never turns 'em down.

And that oughta do'er. Hope everyone has a Happy Thursday, half-nekked or otherwise.

911 is a Joke in Yo' Town

2006-10-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

Picture, this. Sicily, 1932. Ok, actually it was my bedroom at 2 o'clock in the morning but I do so love my Sophia from Golden Girls. I'd just gotten up to blow my nose for the 10 billionth time and pee AGAIN thanks to the gallons of tea and water I'd drunk over the course of my day home from work and the ginormous bowl of Wor Won Ton soup Miss Kitty was kind enough to bring me for supper. My neighborhood is generally pretty quiet in the middle of the night but there was a dog across the street going absolutely nutso, barking his itty bitty head off for no less than 25 minutes. I figured, being the good neighbor and attentive citizen that I am, I would call and have the police do a drive-by just to make sure everything is on the up and up. Not 911 or anything, just the regular old number. We have a lot of taggers 'round these parts and I just can't stand that shit. Then again, I've also watched way too many hours of Court TV so I couldn't help but let my imagination run wild that the couple in the house had been slain in their foyer and the dog was trying to warn someone. Niiiice. So basically I would just like to give mad props to the Oxnard Police Department for their quick response time. Naturally, the dog stopped barking the second I'd called but I looked out my window about a minute after I'd hung up the phone and there goes the cruiser with his spotlight on my building. Well, played OPD. Well played indeed. Oh, and the dog barked until about 6 a.m. but what are you going to do?

On a side note, I'm dying. I'd like to take a moment and say thank you to the lovely barista at my neighborhood Starbucks who recommended combining Zen and Refresh teas in the Venti cup with a side of 3 honeys. It is my salvation. I wouldn't be surprised if at 2 p.m. the doctor didn't tell me I have walking pneumonia or some bullshit. I've never called in sick 2 days in a row. That blows. Much like my nose.
K, hope you guys have a great Wednesday. Hump someone for me.

Sickies.

2006-10-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

If there is a sickness floating around I can guarantee you I'll get it. When I was a babysitter, it was constant. Whatever the kids brought home from school, I managed to breathe it in. Who knows where I got this cold but I'm home sick today from work with a lot of drainage happening in my head. It's hard to say whether I'm just being a huge baby or if I really need the day off but it is sure going to come in handy when it comes to getting my reading done for class. Maybe catch up on Y&R even though I'm sure that shit will pick up right where I left it years ago. But my cold is going to keep me from seeing the baby's nursery and going to consult with a tattoo artist about fixing the monstrosity on my back. Always when I have plans. I think it's karma because I told my Gran I wasn't feeling well over the weekend and didn't go see her. The "not feeling well" was probably a hangover but she's none the wiser. I guess the moral of that story is: don't cry wolf. I love a good moral.

Drink!

2006-10-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

It's a little late for a Monday post but I march to the beat of my own drummer. Do not judge me. Truth be told, this weekend went nothing like I'd planned and that happens so often I wonder why I even bother trying to make plans in the first place. On Friday night rather than go down to a punk show in Long Beach I ended up going to happy hour and then to a very gorgeous beach house for a wee wine tasting-slash-dinner party. Very good company, food and drink. That seems to be a weekend theme lately, the drinking. I'm wondering if I should start evaluating whether or not I have a "problem."
Said party also inspired me to go ahead and throw a wine tasting house warming of my very own. Ladies only. How cute is that? People are always inviting me to things so what better than to invite them into my humble home and fill them with tasty hors d'oeuvres and vino. I wish all of you Blogger girls weren't so far away or I'd totally invite you, too.
This brings out a wee bit of anxiety in me though... will people come? Will they have a good time? Is my Evite too cheesy? What tiny edibles will I serve? What music will be on rotation? AAAAAGH! Of course mere minutes after I sent the little Evite on its way I got responses in the affirmative so that part I'm not too worried about but it's just so odd to throw a party. And I use the word "party" in its loosest sense. Quite frankly, it's going to be open house style with no formalities. And I'm just pleased as punch that in 20 days I'll be the hostess with the mostest. Cute. K, that's all.

Jackass 2

2006-10-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

How does one review a movie like this? I must confess I own 2 volumes of the television show as well as the first Jackass movie on DVD. I've never watched them at home but it's comforting to know they're there in case I ever need a good laugh. The first Jackass I watched years ago by myself in a tiny, old-fashioned movie theater in Los Angeles because no one would join me. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to choke on my Milk Duds. When I lived with my roommate and Jackass would come on MTV I would politely excuse myself to my room and be in hysterics all by my lonesome, knowing she didn't want to see anything that involved vomiting. Yet the next morning I knew she was envious that I had such a good time watching that show alone.
I don't know what it is, maybe the fact that I grew up with a younger brother, but I love these guys and all they do and all that they stand for. Even when the show would just show skateboarding, I was hooked. As my brother himself said yesterday after we took in a closed-captioned matinee of Jackass 2, "I just want to party with those dudes." The closed-captioned thing was a total accident but it was certainly a good thing to have seeing as we laughed so hard I missed half the dialogue.
All I can say is if you like to see people getting chased and gored by bulls, lots of testicles and watching bad boys being bad boys then this is the movie for you. When we left the theater, my brother and I could hardly breathe. Our backs were sore and we wanted to head back home for naps because we were literally worn out from all of the laughing. I pity the poor bastard that sat in front of me because of my excessive explosive laughter, repetitive squeals of "Oh no!" and continuous knee-slapping. I'm not even going to try and rehash the seemingly hundreds of pranks and stunts, just let it be known: I love Johnny Knoxville.
Long live Jackass!

Closing Out Themed Days With Haiku Friday

2006-09-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

It's sweater weather

Leaves changing from green to red

Getting dark early

***

Halloween's so close

Then there are birthdays galore

Newborn baby too

***

Soon's hockey season

Dodgers in the World Series

A girl can dream right?

Half Nekked Thursday

2006-09-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Crazy Asian Tattoo with a Parasol to Boot

Have a very HHNT!!!

Saved By The Bell. Nice.

2006-09-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Don't you think for one minute that I didn't watch the whole 2 hours of the E! True Hollywood Story about Saved By The Bell, ok? Because I did. And I can boast that I actually saw Screech in line for Splash Mountain at Disneyland once. He was wearing those weird workout pants adorned with many colors and patterns. He really appeared to be on hallucinogens but I'm not here to judge. WTF happened to the good old days when Saturday morning TV meant something?

Writer's Block Wednesday

2006-09-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

It seems like many of my "blogger buddies" have ceased and desisted (is that a word?) when it comes to regular posting. Maybe I'm a bit of an ego-maniac for posting nearly every day even though I know that my life is mediocre at best but I just love it when I click on those little links and see a new post. Reading about their lives helps me get through these 8 hours at work and quite frankly I think all of those peeps are super nice, interesting and funny. So I asked the currently-on-hiatus Macca for a topic to write about today because quite frankly I'm stumped. All my life has consisted of lately is work, school and nephew-centered talk so there you have it. Now on with the show:

A Moment Where I May Have Seen Someone Naked By Accident

Randi

I actually posted this as a less wordy comment over on The Churning but there's a good chance some of you haven't read it so you get it now. The topic of discussion over there was naked neighbors. They were lucky enough to get a couple of young hot chicks next door that liked to do naked things in front of their windows together. Mmm... lesbians. My tale goes a little differently. My bedroom in the house I grew up in looked over into the neighbors' yard and my window pretty much faced into an identical window in their house. During my youth, Stevie lived across from me. He was my first crush I think. Because his sister Amy was my babysitter who once had a party in my folks' house and stole mom's jewelry and drank dad's booze, he was always around. There were many nights that I would lie in the dark under my covers and totally spy on him from my room. I'm sure he must have seen me. I'd giggle with glee when he'd bounce on his bed and all the dumb shit pre-teens do. Those were innocent times.

Then Stevie's family moved away and a couple of old fogeys took root in their home. They weren't nearly as fun. Or so we thought. One night before I went to bed I looked into the new neighbor's yard and saw there was a party under way. Bright lights, people in the pool... but wait! They were naked! Naked and drinking cocktails and swimming. And they were OLD!!! Never in my short life had I seen anything like that before. Those parties continued for the length of their stay in that home, with me and my little brother playing peeping Tom every time. Looking back, I'm a bit ashamed because why did I want to see old balls and saggy tits? Nevertheless, it's a memory I won't soon forget.

The End

Please feel free to leave your topic suggestions in the comment box. Your feedback is much appreciated.

Ten For Tuesday

2006-09-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Shora.

I have a hard time saying the words multiple sclerosis. It generally ends up sounding like multiplerscrosis.
My second toe is longer than the big toe by a smidge. I hear that's a sign of genius.
When I found out my nephew will have another auntie in the form of Frannis's sister-in-law I was devastated. I think it's because I only have 1 uncle and I worship him.
I count my steps in increments of 8 when I exercise or go up stairs or walk long distances but mostly when I'm alone.
If there are two light switches, say in a hallway, and one of them is up when the light is off, I have to flip them so that the switch will be down.
My prescription eyeglasses are not that strong but if I don't wear them I squint and don't want wrinkles so I wear them even though they're not totally necessary.
I kind of get off when people tell me "You don't look 29! I thought you were maybe 25!"
I have zero aspirations to be anything specific "when I grow up" yet I'm pursuing a bachelor's degree.
Musical accompaniment is very important to me so I have the radio or a CD playing at almost all times.
Currently, more than anything, I would like to be a Pussycat Doll - able to sing, dance, and wear trendy ugly clothes but make them look hot because I'm slender and muscular.

Tag, BFF. You're it.

Melancholy Monday

2006-09-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Slightly hungover.
My homework is not done.
Textbook hasn't even been cracked.
I have a paper due in less than 8 hours that has barely been started.
Baby shower left me wondering if I'll be barren forever.
No vacay in the works.
I'm 29 and I'm rocking a hickey. On my neck.
Back on Weight Watchers today in a serious way.
Stocked up on 2 weeks worth of diet food at the market over the weekend.
Could only fit in 1 out of 12 size 10 pants I tried on. At least I'm still fitting in a medium shirt.

Good news is I bought a Calvin Klein cashmere peacoat for $100 off the ticket price. Retail therapy indeed.

Ah-Nee-Maaaahl

2006-09-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Wrap It Up Haiku

2006-09-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

Fires burning the hills

Vehicular was serviced

Sits covered with ash

***

A shower Sunday

For my soon to be nephew

Ethan? I'm ready!

***

Dating disasters

Andy Fox and his ninjas

Ahhhh... some other time

Artsy HNT

2006-09-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Showing off the new earrings and chair...
and a helluva collarbone if I do say so myself. Ha!

Happy HNT

Hump Date

2006-09-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

Ha! I got you there didn't I? You thought I was going to write about some tawdry sexual liaison! But I'm not going to. That only resulted once after an online date and there was pot involved and it's hardly worth repeating here. Let it just be said that Sergio was about 6 feet tall and a buck twenty sopping wet. He was my very first booty call and it went on for a couple months though I would hardly say it was a relationship. He picked me up at my apartment which is a huge no-no. I'm lucky I lived to tell the tale. Then he took me to Downtown L.A. to an all but forgotten old-school diner and then back to his place for a little Nightmare Before Christmas viewing. The rest is for the birds but that was the one and only time I thought that perhaps not everyone on the internet looking for love was a serial murderer rapist carnie psycho.
Now that I started writing about these craigslist dates I find it harder and harder to remember them... I'm famous for my short term memory so I hope you all weren't too looking forward for disaster tales.
The last time I tried internet dating was sometime last year I think. I met someone off of Friendster and truly believed he might be normal. He suggested we meet at a quaint little restaurant in the lobby of a hotel up in Ventura. I'd been told it was a somewhat nice place so I put some slacks and heels on and tried to pretty myself up by avoiding the jeans. I was the first one to arrive at the restaurant and when my "date" showed up he was wearing a hugely oversized, wrinkled and faded sweatshirt reminiscent of what I wear when I'm at home on a winter's night surrounded by hankies because I've been blowing my nose for hours. He hardly looked like he'd even bathed or did laundry for our rendezvous. Whatever. Dinner conversation was fine and the food was delicious but when the check came he didn't even motion to pay for it. It was up to me to suggest we split it down the middle. What a gentleman. Ask a girl to dinner and you don't even foot the bill. Nice. As we walked out of the restaurant it was pretty late and dark outside and I said, "Oh, are you going to walk me to my car?" His response? "Actually, I'm parked on the other side so no..." And they say chivalry is dead.

Arrrrrrrrgh!

2006-09-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ahoy, me scurvy mateys. Today be talk like a pirate day.

There be no tales of sailors done me wrong 'til 'morrow.

It be grog and Goonies for me.

Disaster Date, Part Deux

2006-09-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

I may have led you on there on the last post that the date I wrote about had some sort of continuation. That would be a negative, good buddy. I never saw hide nor hair of that poor sap again. Call me "thallow" but that's the way I roll.
Next up was another LIAR who sent me some very artistic interpretation photographs of himself. Again, this is L.A. so it can't be a standard shot, it has to be an 8x10 glossy. He mentioned he was bald but it looked like he was one of those guys that are going bald and decide to cue-ball it so it wasn't like I was concerned about his hair loss as much as he was. Plus, I was trying not to judge a book by its cover and gave it the old college try. We agreed to meet at Universal City Walk. Tip #2 after only meeting for drinks? Always meet in a public place... and take separate cars for the love of Pete.
So I arrive at City Walk and I'm searching high and low to find this guy, thinking I'm too early or he's a no show. Turns out he was right next to me the whole time. And why didn't I see him? It's because he didn't resemble his pictures in the least. In front of me stood a man that had the largest bald head I've ever seen, almost alien-like. And the clincher? He's a good 3 inches shorter than me. And he was wearing THE WORST baby vomit green 70s style polyester jacket, hipster before hipster became the infectious disease it is now. But at this point I'd already committed so we went to dinner. Will I never learn?
During dinner, awkward at best what with the incessant rambling about every aspect of his life while I silently listened, gazing in awe at the enormity of his cranium, he suggested we go and see the movie Punch Drunk Love seeing as there is a theater at City Walk. I figured I was out already out for the night, might as well make the best of it, so off to the movie we went. As we were watching the previews a rambunctious group of people sitting next to us and speaking in their outside voices started getting a little too loud for my liking so I leaned over and nicely asked if they could keep it down a bit. Cue all hell breaking loose.
The entirely too inebriated man I'd hushed stood up out of his chair and proceeded to call me every obscenity in the book on the top of his lungs. Basically telling ME to shut the fuck up, in no uncertain terms. I cowered in my seat wondering how I'd provoked such a response, how long my berating would go on and would I be stabbed to death over the whole thing... all the while waiting and waiting for my "date" to maybe take this opportunity to stand up to the crazy cursing drunk and protect my ass. It never happened. After the boozer decided to sit down and shut up to watch the movie, I looked over at the douchebag I was with to say, with a terrified tremble in my voice, "Ohmygod can you believe that guy?" to which he responded, "Yah... what happened?" AS IF HE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!
Needless to say, we didn't have a second date.

Dating Disaster

2006-09-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

I was browsing the blogs of others and found there seems to be a recurrent theme lately of tragic online dating experiences. When my ex and I broke up I had just moved to Korea Town and had no intention of being alone so I stumbled upon the craigslist personal ads. In hindsight, always 20/20, I should have known that Mr. Right wouldn't be found in the same place you could find cheap furniture and casual sex posts but I was young and naive and quite frankly didn't give a shit. So I posted a very asexual ad saying I was new to town and wanted to meet some new people. That innocent post got me upwards of 50 emails and the next thing I knew I was corresponding with total strangers, weeding out potential psychos, asking for pictures and setting up dates. Me doing something like that was unheard of at the time. I wonder if the online dating stone would have been better left unturned.
One thing I learned is that people LIE. Lie like crazy. They send you outdated pictures as if you're not actually going to meet the person face to face and be able to determine that they've gained 50 pounds and lost all their hair. It's tragic. Another thing is I'm very up front with how tall I am because I've found that not a lot of men are much taller than my 5'8" stature and quite frankly I like a guy that I can look up to. Maybe that's shallow but to each their own as to whom you are attracted to right?
So I thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane and post some of my more memorable experiences:

I decided to meet a guy in front of a bar up the street, sight unseen. That was the first and last time I met someone without exchanging photos. When he strolled up I believed there had to have been some mistake. He was no taller than 5'5 (if he was lucky), had hair that was parted in the middle, slicked down to his ears only to cascade into a nappy bunch of shoulder-length curls. He was NOT attractive by society's standards and for a moment there I thought he might have been a carnie. He also had a tragic lisp that had me completely unable to focus on the story he was telling me about being familiar with Wee Man of Jackass fame; it was L.A. after all. And oddly enough, not only must he have not felt like removing his jacket at the table, he also took an inordinate amount of time removing his hands from his pockets. After a while I started to wonder if he was deformed or maybe had hooks on the ends of his arms. Needless to say, it was a disaster. We'd decided on dinner (Never do this! Always drinks first!) so I ordered water and a side salad and when the check came I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I apologized profusely because I had fully intended on going Dutch when he responded, "thath ok, you juth get it neckth time." Not a snowball's chance in hell. When I went back to my car I had to pay to exit the parking structure and actually wrote a check for $1. All in all, an amazing night.

To be continued...

Saturday Smokey Sunset Shots

2006-09-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hungover Haiku

2006-09-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

Happy hour last night

Three margaritas later

9 o'clock bedtime

***

And Gridiron Gang

Smell what the Rock is cooking

That's my plan tonite

***

As for this weekend

Really need to buckle down

Homework to be done

Jamama HNT

2006-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to want to stop sleeping so you get the monkey pajama shot. Sweet dreams and Happy HNT

Art History 101

2006-09-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

Tonight I have a Chicano Art History class so I thought I'd give a shout out to my favorite artist, Mark Ryden. He is, however, neither Chicano nor Historical. Discuss amongst yourselves. If you haven't seen his work before I highly recommend taking a look at the galleries. He uses a lot of meat and iconic imagery like Abe Lincoln and The Colonel, famous for his chicken. My personal favorite is Saint Barbie but he also has a couple great portraits of Christina Ricci and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So there you have it. Check it out.

Jebus

2006-09-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

The image above is a penguin doll painted to resemble our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Please take note of the stigmata. Those of you that know me are well aware that I am obsessed with collecting kitschy Catholic paraphernalia so naturally I purchased this little guy at a very affordable price considering it is custom made. So, if you find yourself in the market for a penguin that looks like a pirate or a rubber ducky please go here and support my friend, Neighbor George, who also happens to be going down in history as Little George's creator. Check out that photo album. It's sad when a doll has been more places than you, isn't it?

On The Road Again

2006-09-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

My doppelgänger (she's Mandy Ann, I'm Randi Anne. We're both Tauruses and we both drive VW Beetles... long story) and I had the pleasure of seeing Mr. Willie Nelson in concert on Sunday night, my second time in 4 years. And how was that for a word-of-the-day? It's basically fancy German for a person with the same name as you. ANYhoo... Willie played the Hollywood Bowl, where I had never been before, with his sister on piano and his sons playing back-up instruments. It wasn't quite as cozy of a venue as the last show, at the very intimate Wiltern Theater (down the street from my old pad in Korea Town) but it was still a rockin' good time. He must be tired of singing those same old songs because a lot of the time it felt like he was "phoning it in" and the crowd couldn't match his rhythm to sing along. His newer stuff was hilarious though and he really put his heart into it. I have but one complaint and that is a concert tee that sold for the face value of a ticket. 'Splain please...
Opening for Willie Nelson & Family was Neko Case and Ryan Adams. I would probably purchase the former's album because she had a lovely and unusual voice I wouldn't mind have playing in the background if I had a wine tasting or a few people over for dinner. And she looked like Julianne Moore's half-sister. The latter, however, thought it was his concert rather than Willie's and proceeded to turn his performance into some sort of godawful jam session with lengthy guitar solos that bored me to tears. Killing me. He also strongly resembled a dark-haired David Spade. Not that that has anything to do with the price of tea in China but hey...
Also killing me? Fucking people on the gee-damn phone sending text messages during the performances. Ok, bitch, it's totally dark out and all I can see is the blinding screen of your cell phone. I don't know wtf is so important you need to have that open for 45 straight minutes but you're lucky I didn't reach down in front of me and pull your hair. I hate you.
It was so refreshing to see Hollywoodland in the theater and to have the audience know that it's a grown-up movie and it was quiet time. No cell phones. No seat kicking. No blabbering. Just the dead quiet sound of listening. Listening with your EARS and not your MOUTH. Sigh. It was delicious. If only that moment could apply to every movie and every concert. I would be one happy lady. Common courtesy, folks. It's not too much to ask for. You're not the only person in the world, contrary to whatever it is you believe. Enjoy the photos!

The Hollywood Bowl - Day and Night

Sneaky Pics: A Kentucky Waterfall & Asian Oprah

Willie, of course

Willie, Me and Mandy

5 Years Ago...

2006-09-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to do the whole 9/11 post but on my way to work this morning I heard a radio montage tribute and started bawling so natch it needs to be addressed. Five years ago I was woken up by a phone call from my boyfriend at the time telling me that we were being invaded. Not one to turn on the TV or the radio in the morning, I wouldn't have known until much later what was going on had it not been for that call. My roommate, Beanie, and I sat on the edge of my bed in abject horror seeing what has been replayed countless times since then. We cried, got scared, called in and told our work we wouldn't be going in that day. I remember being terrified that BFF's sister in New York was somehow harmed by that day's events. Living in West L.A. at the time we were used to lots of noise from traffic on the streets. That day, there was dead silence and hardly a driving car to be found. The Starbucks on the corner where I moonlighted closed its doors for the day, something practically unheard of. I had planned to see my favorite author, Dean Koontz, speak at the bookstore in Santa Monica that night. Cancelled. The day was spent watching endless hours of news broadcasts and wondering how on earth that had happened. So I guess they're right, I will never forget: where I was that day, how I felt and what I saw. God willing, in our lifetime, we as a nation will never have to experience anything like that again. Today I just want to say thank you to John Gonzales and all of our other soldiers for fighting this seemingly endless war "against terrorism." Be safe out there. And to the families of the victims, may their memories be a blessing.

Two for Two

2006-09-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the odds are but I am pleased to announce I saw two new releases this weekend and both of them are worthy of recommendation. Not only that, but two actors I haven't really cared for in the past proved themselves to be quite good in roles that seem to be tailor made for them. Yeah, that's right, Marky Mark. But don't let it get to your head, you're not in the clear yet. This time around, kudos go to Ben Affleck in Hollywoodland. Minus Kevin Smith film cameos and Good Will Hunting he hasn't done much to impress me until now. I'm not one to throw around the term "Oscar-worthy" but any one of the lead actors could take one home for this movie. Bob Hoskins, the gorgeous Diane Lane, Adrien Brody and Ben Affleck kept me riveted through the entire two hours of running time. Robin Tunney, who I can only really think of as the witchy role she played in 1996's The Craft, played the bitch role to a T but I just felt she didn't fit in with the rest of the superior cast. Hollywoodland is about the unsolved mystery surrounding the death of George Reeves, television's Superman. And just to clear up any confusion, the late Christopher Reeves is of no relation. If you watch Court TV and enjoy re-enactment and investigations as much as I do then you'll really enjoy Hollywoodland. Brody (and those expressive eyebrows) plays a private investigator trying to determine whether Reeves was murdered or actually committed suicide, and is spurred on to the point of obsession because of the way Superman's death has impacted his son. And the good thing about this film is that it doesn't try to leap to a conclusion either way and respects the fact that the case is still unsolved today. On top of that? It's just a gorgeous film to watch and the dialogue, costumes and sets are so reminiscent of old Hollywood that it will make you long for that glamorous era. For those of you that need things tied up nice and neat in the end, I don't recommend you see this but for everyone else it will be $10 well spent.

Friday Night Football Feel-good Film

2006-09-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

Mark Wahlberg, formerly "Marky Mark" of The Funky Bunch, has definitely made himself my least favorite of the famed Wahlberg brothers. (Oh, Donnie, even with out NKOTB you know you can call me.) For the most part I feel that he soils a movie's good name just by being in it (see: The Italian Job or any other IMDb listing). Tonight, however, his role as Philadelphia's bartender-cum-Eagle Vince Papale in Invincible had me singing a different tune. Perhaps it was the familiar sight of Disney's Magic Castle as the movie opened that comforted me at the beginning of the movie and assured me that everything was going to be ok. Maybe it was the impressive soundtrack of 70s rock and roll classics. Or could it have been perky Elizabeth Banks of The 40-Year-Old Virgin fame (a.k.a. the girl in the bookstore) as the Giants fan/love interest? Maybe the soaring instrumental crescendos over sweeping landscapes of football practice and stadium games? Or the prerequisite neighborhood tag team game in the mud and slow-mo tackles? I think it's because the speaking parts for Mr. Wahlberg were quite limited. He might as well have been Charlie Chaplin, the early years, for chrissakes. Whatever the combination, it worked. To quote Young MC, the cast consisted of "no fine girls just ugly faces" but at least it was a true representation of a working class town in a well-defined era of fashion mistakes. It didn't bring me to tears like Remember the Titans but I love a movie where the underdog triumphs. And it always amazes me that a football-themed movie never disappoints me even though I'm not really a fan of the game. Go figure. Be forewarned, however, that this one takes a while to get off the ground while establishing just how bad Papale has it in life before open tryouts change his world. I think this can wait for DVD but I liked it nonetheless.

Haiku De Viernes

2006-09-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday night I had
Dinner with the Golden Girls
Every other week
***
Nothing like routine,
But where's spontaneity
Desperately lacking
***
Then again they say
Good things come to those who wait
It's not my strong point

Eeeew HNT

2006-09-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

See? Bloody eyeball. Pretty. It was a lot worse 3 days ago.

So Happy HNT.

Happy Birthday, Poo!

2006-09-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Big Dado turns the big 5-9 today.

In another year, he'll officially be an old Grandpa man.

Hope it is the happiest of happies!!!

(Can't believe I didn't post this earlier. I'm a bad daughter.)

Dang!

2006-09-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

Where the heck did I go? Thanks to the long weekend I'm officially off schedule and completely neglecting the ol' bloggage. And homework. Oh well. What's a girl to do? Sunday was spent in my house like a recluse watching The Ringer and The Benchwarmers, two films that didn't let me down because I didn't expect anything from them. Now if I could only apply that state of mind to my men. Or maybe I should just try out for the next Flavor of Love. I admit it. I'm hooked and I totally spent 5 hours of my life watching the marathon. These women are GHETTO and Flav reminds me of an alien. I can't look away. It's a car crash.

***

Last night I had my very first online chat with a very nice fella in possession a webcam. Can I just say that I felt like was in some sci-fi futuristic movie? It was awesome. Being the moron that I am, I downloaded all the bits and pieces and when he asked if I could hear him I kept telling my monitor I could... thinking he could hear me. But no. Know why? I don't have a camera or a mic. Atta girl, Randi. Now it's time to get with the program and get some modern technology at home so I don't get carpal tunnel chattin' it up with him while he leans back in his chair and carries on a one-sided conversation.

***

Yesterday marked my 6th consecutive day at the gym and I'm so stoked. I love that I forced myself to get off my ass and finally get back to the swing of things. I love to run and see that trickle of sweat drip down my elbow from the crease in my arm. That's what I push myself for. That single trickle. Doesn't matter that I'm soaked to the bone all over the rest of my body. Saturday I actually made it to my Yoga class and I'm just hoping I can make myself go again. There's nothing more refreshing than an hour of stretching and deep breathing. That zone is where I need to be. And for the record? I'm more sore in my muscles after that hour than I am when I do my circuit training. So there you go.

***

And in summation I just wanted to let you know that I burst a blood vessel in my eyeball over the weekend. I'm pretty sure it's because I was drinking the hell out of some wine. Aren't you glad that I brought you up to speed?

I Love YouTube

2006-09-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most random Family Guy excerpts but I have a love for musical theater in cartoon and thought I would tie it in seeing as we're welcoming football season and touchdown celebrations. Plus I referenced this episode in an archive once so I thought I'd bring that shit full circle.

50 Random Statements

2006-09-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

1. My roommate and I once: worked together, hung out together and lived together like the happiest of married couples until she moved up north with her boyfriend and he made her his real wife.
2. Never in my life have I: been in a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: BFF. Nah, that's not fair. Pretty much everyone I'm close to manages to do both of those things on a pretty regular basis.
4. High school was: probably the highlight of my social life. Parties and drugs all the time. Always surrounded by my friends. Nary a care in the world and so little responsibility. And I was never at a loss for boys to make out with. Good times.
5. When I'm nervous: I scratch until I bleed. Pretty, huh? Oh and I also imagine every improbable scenario of how things can go wrong.
6. The last time I cried was: watching Little Miss Sunshine. So fucking good.
7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids would be: none of the above. Girls, I love you but it's me, my man and Elvis in a chapel in Vegas. I don't need any catfights. Not on my watch.
8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Run naked. My body is the least of my problems. Then again, it's not like my secrets are all that secret...
9. My hair: is in the growing out phase and definitely not my natural color.
10. When I was 5 I: had a terrible bowl cut and bangs that were too short. Thanks, Mom.
11. Last Christmas: I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away.
12. When I turn my head left: I see things on the left hand side of me. And chances are good I'm hearing a snap crackle pop. Carry much tension, Randi?
13. I should be: working but memes seem to be way more important. Or doing my homework. Damn you, Blogger for making me have OCD.
14. When I look down I see: a voluptuous rack. Or to quote Miss Nancy, I "gotta nice boob."
15. The craziest recent event was: nothing. I guess I'm super boring or really playing it safe these days. My beige.
16. If I were a character on "Friends" I'd be: Ross. Unrequited love, ain't it a bitch. But in the end he gets the girl so there you have it. Or Monica. I'm pretty OCD. Let's just say "The Gellars" and call it a day.
17. By this time next year: I will be 30 and God willing I'll weigh 10 pounds less and be in a relationship with potential.
18. My favorite aunt is: going to be me once my little nephew emerges from the womb. My aunts are all a bunch of low-life, dead-beat, white-trash psychos.
19. I have a hard time understanding: why I'm not married. Sense a theme here?
20. One time at a family gathering: I realized I'm related to a bunch of crazy people that don't allow me to get a word in edgewise and end up making me feel invisible and subpar.
21. You know I like you if: I stalk the living shit out of you. I'm not much for subtleties.
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank: is Baby Jesus.
23. Take my advice: listen to your friends. They're generally right.
24. My ideal breakfast is: chilaquiles.
25. If you visit my home town: please don't expect me to show you a good time. I don't even know how to entertain myself here, I certainly don't need the pressure of entertaining you.
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: another country. I grow weary of the USA.
27. If you spend the night at my house: expect to sleep in my bed with me.
28. I'd stop my wedding if: there was one planned. Until then I have no reason to stop it.
29. The world could do without: Paris Hilton. Is that too petty? Then the world could do without bigotry against homosexuals. Or President Bush. Or war. I think I'll stand by my Paris Hilton statement, though.
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: fucking nothing! Jesus Christ. That's the sickest shit I've ever considered.
31. The most recent thing I've bought myself is: a grande sugar-free Hazelnut Misto from Starbucks. Mmmmm.
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: 2 bags of Pirate's Booty. Delicious.
33. My favorite blonde is: Christina Aguilera. She's lookin' fine these days.
34. My favorite brunette is: Britney Spears. Even though you have fallen from grace and you are swollen with the damned offspring of the pointless Kevin Federline (another thing the world can do without), you will always be my angel, you barefoot, backwards, trainwreck of a woman.
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: drive up my ass. I like it from behind. But really? I don't. So back the fuck up off me, bitches.
36. The last time I was drunk: was last night. And I probably will be again tonight. Don't you judge me.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Pigs. Just because that would probably allow a lot of things to happen that normally wouldn't as in "when pigs fly." Now kiss my grits.
38. I shouldn't have been: afraid to go away to college when I was 18. If I had one do-over that would be it. But I don't want to should all over myself here. What's done is done.
39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? I'll trim the pantyline regions but I think a hairless beaver is too prepubescent of a look for my likes.
40. Last night I: watched the MTV VMAs for the first time in a long time and don't know why. I know very little about the music these days it seems. Though the treadmill dancers were fucking awesome. Too bad I've never heard of OK Go. Answer me this, who pissed Beyonce off? Was it you, JayZ? Bitch is vicious and possibly suffering from seizures.
41. There's this girl I know who: wishes she could be just like another girl I know.
42. I don't know: what the point of that last statement was.
43. A better name for me would be: Randalion. Because that way when people ask me if Randi is short for something I can say yes.
44. If I ever go back to school I'll: be disappointed because I'm already back to school and if I don't finish it this time around then I'm officially fucked.
45. How many days until my birthday?: I'm surprised I don't know the actual answer to this because I so love my day of birth. How many days until May 12? That many.
46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: Phil Hartman.
47. I've lived at my current address for: Less than 2 months. How about that?
48. I've been told I look like: Drew Barrymore, Joan Cusack, Celine Dion and Christine Lahti. I'm only ever flattered when it's Drew though.
49. If I could have any car, it would be: the one I drive now. I do so love my Vehicular Manslaughter.
50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: Mrs. Pussyface.

Today's meme was brought to you by AndyT13.

You Know What Time It Is

2006-09-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

I attract the freaks

Myspace pantyhose fetish

Like moths to a flame

***

Long weekend ahead

Nary a plan to be had

Perhaps some reading?

***

Start of a new month

Turning over a new leaf

Here's to blank pages

Eye Heart HNT <3

2006-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Windows to the soul indeed.

A little soul searching is definitely needed.

Thank you for pointing it out.

And for noticing.

You know who you are.

Though, Clark, I couldn't recognize you without your glasses.

Love Your Loyalty And Sensitivity

Happy HNT to the rest of you.

Grosser Than Gross

2006-08-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been stocking up on my produce at the local Farmer's Market on Sundays. The peaches have been utterly divine. Sweet and delicious. Yesterday afternoon I was enjoying one when it got to be mid-peach and I thought it was a good time to remove the pit so I could eat the rest of it uninhibited. When I did so, however, the pit broke in half and revealed what I'm pretty sure was tiny white maggots and little black bugs crawling around what they'd made their home. Now, I've read James and the Giant Peach but I had no idea that fiction would become my reality with creatures living within the heart of my snack. Most of you might have thrown that peach in the garbage but after close inspection it appeared that the meat of the fruit wasn't infested so I went ahead and ate the rest of it. I figured at that point what more harm can it do me? So the moral of the story is: cut the peach in half before you start eating it, remove the pit and then decide whether it's wise to proceed. Learn from my disgusting mistakes.

On a completely unrelated topic, I have a question. I'm not a cat person really though I did have a black Siamese when I was growing up named Samantha (named after Bewitched of course). She was an antisocial little bitch that never really let herself be seen unless it suited her or she wanted to allow you to pet her. At night she roamed the streets and in the morning, like clockwork, she would meow at the door until we let her in to be fed. After that the only way you'd see her is if you went looking for her in the back of the closet, under the bed or behind the draperies. My question is, do cats need baths? Samantha never had a single one in her 15-year lifespan but my friend Eli had me help him give his cat Fidget a bath yesterday. It took all of Eli's strength and might to keep Fidget in the tub and under the water and I was mauled in the process. Our end result? We were left with what looked like a very angry drowned rat and ended up completely drenched. Isn't the whole idea of being a cat owner the fact that they basically groom and maintain themselves? Another reason I shouldn't be a pet owner.

El Primer Dia De Escuela

2006-08-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks goes out to BFF for today's title. Last night I had my first day at my new school, Cal State University Channel Islands a.k.a. CSUCI a.k.a. C-Sucky. The class is called Individuals With Disabilities and it looks like it's going to be a winner. My professor, almost called her the juvenile "teacher" there for a sec, doesn't look like she's even as old as I am but she can really hold a class. I liker. Our first assignment? A movie review. Chances are pretty good that 3-page, size 12 font, 1" margin, double-spaced piece of literature will end up on this blog so stay tuned.
I'm going to awkwardly segue a bit here but you'll see why in a second. For a long time now I've had a bit of a chipped shoulder when it comes to MTV. When I was a girl I lived for music videos. Music has always been a passion for me. Not that long ago there was a spread in Entertainment Weekly that had the MTV timeline of memorable moments. I can actually recall watching Madonna as she writhed around in her Like A Virgin Music Award performance. Now? MTV has nothing but reality programming and the only time you can catch and actual video is at the crack of dawn or long after I've gone to sleep for the night. Needless to say, I loathe it. Mind you, some of the programming is smart and informative on hot topics that need to be addressed and I believe it reaches the teens in a positive way. Most of all, I loathe shows like the Real World and Laguna Beach that sort of endorse brainless backstabbing and shallow behavior.
ANYway... here's where the segue makes sense: my classmates are possibly castaways from Laguna Beach auditions. They all wear giant sunglasses, layered tank tops, rolled up jeans and gaudy jewelry while carrying enormous designer hand bags. Their laughter is so fake it actually pained me to listen to it. I also overheard one girl telling another girl how she gets her mom to buy her everything she wants. And man if they don't think they know EVERYTHING because they took a couple of undergrad Psych classes. I may be getting too old for this shit. But not the oldest! It is my goal to find a "buddy" in both of my classes and last night I met Eric the 34-year old. If nothing else, I'm young by comparison.

Monday Monday

2006-08-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'd like to give a hearty thank you to all of those who participate in Haiku Friday, a little ditty BFF & I made up to amuse ourselves that seems to be catching like wild fire. I have to say, though, I was a bit dismayed when at Shora's site someone actually corrected her version of our game saying haikus require a reference to nature or some shit. Um, really? Bite the big one.
This weekend was pretty uneventful but definitely beer-soaked. It is really nice when you become a bar regular and the cute little bartenders give you sample drinks and leftovers when they mix a bit too much. Quite a handy way to get drunk on a Friday. Saturday I was invited to my brother's schwanky new pad to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship match on Pay-Per-View. I had no idea those guys were so hot, yet so savage. It kicked ass but I don't know if it's a good idea that my brother watches those fights because he kind of had that look in his eyes that he had a taste for blood.
School starts tonight so I'm super stoked about that. Looking forward to busy weeks and homework to fill up all that time I've been wasting on TV and beer guzzling. It's terrible how lazy I get when I have no structure to my schedule. Damn. This must be a Monday post.

Closure

2006-08-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my good friend Maine I have closure to this post. Officer Byrd does in fact exist and you can find him here. Wow.

Haiku & A Movie Review

2006-08-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Little Miss Sunshine
Accurate depiction of
Family dysfunction
***
I laughed and I cried
The Sundance raves were dead on
Carell's Midas Touch
***
Hometown cameo

The disturbing child pageant
Definite must see

Tracksy HNT

2006-08-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Highlights of search engine key words used to find my blog this month:

If you're Jesus and you know it
That's when the whores came in
Shots of my boobies
Fully clothed swimming rubber boots
Dancing Tits
Flashing Tits (sense a theme here?)
and of course... HNT

That's some pretty random shit up there. Leave me a comment and tell me how you found me, you googling and yahooing sons of bitches. And for all those peeps searchin' for bodacious tatas (check that tan line!):

Happy HNT. You knew I couldn't stay away for long.

Dia De Los Humps Y Lumps

2006-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was checking out Weight Watchers' website yesterday and it totally shot down any good feelings I had about my 15-pound weight loss. According to their BMI calculator, the maximum I should weigh at my height and age is 158 pounds. Currently I'm weighing in more or less at 165 and I thought I looked pretty darn good considering but I guess that's just about the max weight for people 45 and older. How about that? I'm certainly not 45.
My first response is to go back to the gym, which I totally did last night and plan to again tonight, but even that seems futile unless I really plan on going for 90 minutes every flippin' day of the week. Do I really need to go back to counting every bite and kiss beer goodbye? I've been really good here at work with my fruits and veggies and nonfat yogurt and Lean Cuisines but it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere very quickly aside from allowing me to maintain my weight for close to 4 months now. Not that I'm complaining.
Perry, the man formerly known as my hot trainer and torturer, asked me last night if I'd consider doing group sessions. It's going to take a bite out of my billfold but maybe that's what's going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back to lose these last 7-10 pounds. Is that a good use of my student loans? Should I enroll in the 6-Saturday, hour and a half yoga class at the local community college even though I already pay a gym fee and could technically go to their class for free even though it is at the unreasonable hour of 12 o'clock noon a.k.a. LUNCH TIME?
I definitely have a goal date in mind. BFF asked me if I'd consider attending Burning Man with her next year at this time and I'd like to be in the physical condition that would make my toplessness applause-worthy. Is that too much to ask?

I'm A Giver

2006-08-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

Things I've learned so you don't have to:

Don't wear brand new stiletto heels if you plan on walking or dancing for an excess of, say, 11 minutes. Chances are you will rub a hole into your toe or any surface of your foot that makes contact with the sexy straps causing you to have to sport a Disney Princess bandage for a couple days.
Don't eat leftovers if they contain the ingredients ham and/or chicken and have been left in the trunk of a car for 4-5 hours. Chances are you will end up on the toilet for the majority of the next day. As Crusty says: Food in the trunk, not such a good idear. Junk in the trunk, however, always a good idear.
At all costs, try to avoid having to walk 6 blocks on city streets in your bare feet. Chances are you will contract some nasty foot funk like hepatitis OR you'll do some damage to your patooties that requires extensive pedicure rehabilitation OR you'll just end up with some really dirty feet OR you'll experience some weird snapping feeling like a tendon is loose a couple days after the fact.
Give it up on the first night. Chances are that shit won't be going anywhere in a hurry.
Show any interest at all in a guy you actually like. Chances are he is not going to feel the same way and he'll pack his shit up and move out of town.
Expect any sympathy from BFF. Chances are she'll be a ball buster.

A Book A Week

2006-08-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

Just like an apple a day is good for the bod, a book a week is good for my mind. On my sick day today, I finished another book I had started then shelved for no other reason than reading laziness. Jonathan Lethem's Motherless Brooklyn is a detective story with a twist, the main character suffering from Tourette's Syndrome. No, not every sentence is punctuated with an expletive outburst, but you do get to delve deep inside Lionel Essrog's tormented brain and listen to him make half a dozen similar sounding phrases from a simple word or name. "Place of peace" becomes Prays of peach. Plays of peas. Press-e-piece. And the book is peppered with these word association games and Lionel's insistence on tapping and touching those around him. It's an interesting peek into a world I'm glad I've never known nor probably ever will minus the few OCD-type tics I already have.
The book is about a group of orphans taken in by a mob-associated man named Frank Minna, turning the boys, dubbed motherless Brooklyn, into Minna Men. Errand Boys. And under the guise of a moving company and a car service, they act as movers of stolen goods and quasi-detectives for a somewhat shady agency. It's the orphans' first peek into the closest thing to a family they'll probably ever get to know. Frank gets murdered and Lionel seeks vengeance uncovering betrayal and an underworld it seems he never quite expected. I could visualize this entire book as if it were film noir and apparently Edward Norton had the same idea because sometime in 2007 he'll star as Lionel in a movie adaptation of the book.
It wasn't a real page turner for me but I didn't necessarily close the book disappointed. Even though detective novels aren't really my favorite genre, this book did right by the idea. Lethem's writing style is very unique and if I ever dive back into my passion for fiction, I'd likely read another of his books. However, with school fast approaching and not many more sick days in my near future, I'll probably be hard pressed to find the time to read anything other than textbooks.

Santa Barbara Bush

2006-08-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

It's funny how things change as we get older. Once upon a time the thought of going for a night of drinking and dancing in Santa Barbara would've just meant debauchery of the worst kind. No one would have thought about how we were getting home or what time or who was driving. We would have just gone balls to the wall and partied until one of us dropped because we were young and that's what we did. That kind of happened last night. One of my girls is going away to school in another state in a couple weeks so we decided to show her a good time and give her a farewell night on the town. Evidentally, part of the plan was to get her absolutely shithoused by pumping her full of tequila shots and red wine. What are we? A group of rushing sorority girls going through a hazing? Needless to say, the night ended with her vomiting her brains out in the back of the club. A sentence I never wanted to type in my late 20s.
My last trip to Santa Barbara consisted of me rolling deep with four latino guys in an Escalade while bumpin' some phat rap jamz. This one was all about partying down with a group of peeps from the Oxnard Police Department. Highlights? Here goes:

A detective worrying about me having two glasses of wine with my HUGE Italian dinner because I was the one driving us home in 5 more hours. If he was really that concerned, wouldn't he have stopped himself from drinking several glasses of the ever-masculine White Zin and dubbed himself DD?
Enjoying the hell out of a delicious dinner, Kalyra Cashmere and having the meal end with the entire restaurant singing "That's Amore" while the wait staff toasted each and every patron in the place.
Flashing my bra at the Booze Cruise on State Street. Then repeating the flash for my group and having a fine black man give me approving props from the road while a dirty homeless man told me "That ain't nothing" while flashing his tits at me.
Listening to Barbara (aka Barbrawl) threaten to "fuck up" said homeless man for dissing my boob display. She was also my partner in the flash and has the greatest tits this side of the Rio Grande.
Getting the party started on the dance floor while actually listening to the Black Eyed Peas, "Let's Get It Started" - formerly known as "Let's Get Retarded."
Watching our girl of the hour own the dance floor on a platform stage while I was drinking a Vanilla Stoli & Coke out of a 5 gallon goblet. It's not so easy to dance with a 5 pound drink.
Having Barbrawl introduce me to a fine-ass Jamaican man by telling him "This is your girlfriend for the next 5 minutes." This led to what I'm pretty sure is the first time a man has ever bought me a drink at a bar. I wonder if he could smell the many garlic bread knots I devoured on my breath...
Watching my opportunity to make out with my very first black dude slip through my fingers when I found out that the party girl was purging her dinner in the back of the club. As a result, my ass had to walk 6 city blocks, alone, after midnight, to get the car to drag her unconscious behind back home. I can only thank my lucky stars I didn't get accosted in the stairwell of that lonely parking garage.
Enjoying the sounds of dry-heaving coming from the back seat of the car on the 30-minute ride to Oxnard along the gorgeous Pacific Coast.

And I wonder why I don't go clubbing more often...

Mothafuckin' Snakes on a Mothafuckin' Plane

2006-08-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

Yes. I did it. I succumbed to the incessant articles in Entertainment Weekly. I bought in to the buzz. I went to see Snakes on a Plane on opening night. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Did I walk in expecting anything other than sheer camp? Not a chance. And I did not walk away disappointed. There isn't a redeeming quality to this movie aside from the fact that it's just a lot of fun to watch. This is the stuff summer blockbusters are made of: interesting locale, unnecessary violence, improbable situations, sex, humor and absolute discomfort. I literally leapt out of my seat every single time a snake appeared on the screen. Samuel L. Jackson absolutely owned this movie. He knew this was not a movie to take seriously yet he took himself seriously and it shows. The acting as a whole was godawful but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that hundreds of different poisonous snakes were attacking and killing everyone they could in any manner possible. My only regret was that I didn't see Snakes in a movie-going-town like Los Angeles. My little Oxnard theater was half-empty and didn't have the overall enthusiasm I was looking for. Thank goodness I had two very willing friends that tolerated my jumpiness, enthusiastic outbursts of caution for the acting cast and most of all, my applause when Samuel L. Jackson declared he was tired of "these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane." I can't wait to see the weekend's grosses.

Haiku? Says You!

2006-08-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Few things beat a glass

of in vino veritas

and reconnecting

***

Been eating healthy

Lots of fruits and veg'ables

Frequenting the gym

***

So... Supercute and

Supernice didn't work out

Um, no surprise there

Happy Anniversary!!!

2006-08-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today is the 3-year wedding anniversary for BFF and her husband Babe, the bestest married couple I know. Because I'm at work I don't exactly have a ton of pictures at my fingertips so this one is kind of old but still quite delightful. And I'm in it so consider it an HNT. Go and give her some congratulatory wishes, why don't you. They deserve it.

The Kitchen Wiggle

2006-08-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

Why I shouldn't drink at parties. Courtesy of Sim the Magnificent.

Book Review

2006-08-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

After a prolonged read of maybe close to a year when the book basically just sat on the back of my toilet, I finally finished Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser last night. Once upon a time I proclaimed to BFF that I would eat red meat every day if I had the chance. After reading this book, I'm at a stage where I'm seriously considering becoming a vegetarian. Because of Weight Watchers I have pretty much abandoned fast food restaurants as a rule but now it's going to be to the point of fanaticism. We all know how I feel about my weight but this is about health more than it's about obesity. You might as well eat poison. A few things that stand out in my mind are the atrocious working conditions at meat packing plants, the "mall-ification" of our great nation and "fecal matter in the meat." For me? 'Nuff said. It's so important to know where our food comes from and when you read this book, if you do, you'll be amazed at what we as a people are willing to tolerate when it comes to our food production.
I'm trying to steer clear of fiction for the most part and am tempted to read Upton Sinclair's The Jungle which pretty much exposed the meat packing plants for the disaster areas they were back in the day or perhaps Schlosser's other book, Reefer Madness about the porn industry, immigrant work force and the marijuana underground. Any recommendations? I'm trying to feed my brain some substance instead of fluff.

The Monday Blues

2006-08-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

Job sucks.
Love life is in a state of perpetual limbo.
Skies are gray.
Too much time on my hands until school starts.
Not enough sleep this weekend.
Been slacking full-time on the diet and the gym so I'm feeling nice and huge.
On the rag.
Coming down off a fun-filled weekend high spent with good friends.
Must be Monday.

Haiku Up In This Bitch!

2006-08-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Two birthdays today

Shout outs to Frannis, Eli

Leos be crazy

***

Had odd dreams last night

Even woke up crying once

Randi be crazy

***

Crusty's grandma died

She's home from that Philly place

Weekend be crazy

The Fair

2006-08-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

I know I'm not the only one that loves a good fair but I seem to be one of the few of my friends that are actually willing to go. What's not to love? You've got good eats, entertainment, livestock and arts & crafts. There are even rides and games there if you're brave enough. But most importantly, you also get an unintentional boost to your self esteem when you look at the freaks and carnies that surround you and you're reminded that you ARE skinny. You ARE pretty. And by golly, you have ALL of your teeth!
Last night my brother, his girlfriend, my buddy Eli and I went to the Ventura County Fair to see Foreigner perform. Check out that jukebox link, why don't you. Because I know you, like everyone else, is going to ask me what they sing. The answer? Everything you've ever heard on the radio was more than likely a Foreigner song. This may be the many Miller Beers I consumed talking, but for a free concert and a 70s/80s band, Foreigner can still rock the crowd. At one point I even broke out the lighter. Don't hate. Why not have your encore be I Want To Know What Love Is and Hot Blooded? Why not indeed.
We closed out the night with some ice cream and fireworks and all was well in the world. Next time your little town has a fair. Go. You won't be sorry. Just like I'm sure the guy we saw getting his nipples pierced at a booth at the fair won't be sorry when he wakes up this morning.

Back In The Day

2006-08-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

Here's Babe, his wife (the infamous BFF), me and Krystee my formerly quasi-lesbian lover friend. It was like 1995 or 1996. I like this picture. A lot. And even though BFF posted it before I'm doing it now.

Oxnard: More Than Just A Pretty Name

2006-08-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

For those of you interested in learning more about the town where I was born and raised and fled only to return to settle, check out this awesome Wikipedia page. I had no idea Oxnard was so famous. Sure, in Sideways they stopped by to rob that guy's mom on their way to some wine tasting but other than that Oxnard is hardly even on the map. So here are some pics of the new pad in progress. Still need my big comfy living room chair and some kitchen seating but what you see is pretty much what I've got. Enjoy. Now it's your turn, Fyrchk.

All By Myself

2006-08-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

After another anticlimactic Monday at the office I managed to convince myself that the gym was a good idea. Sometimes I forget how good it feels to sweat. Once I'm there and running on the treadmill I'm so happy I went but it's the getting there that's more than half the battle. After a long day at work sometimes I would just rather go home and crack open a cold one and fall asleep in front of the TV. Then again, it was that sort of behavior that led me to the land of the obese so now that I'm fitting in my smaller clothes it's probably better I don't fall into that trap again. Plus, living alone it makes more sense to be out and about and around other people for at least a little while.
Living alone. I forgot how that felt after living with roommates and family for the last 4 years. So far the only downside is feeding myself dinner. I'm just not very good at grocery shopping, menu preparation for one and/or cooking. Breakfast and lunch are covered though. Snacks? Got 'em. Just don't want you to worry about me starving. But things I love? The silence. The independence. Total control over the television. No one asking me what I'm doing or where I'm going. It's bliss I tell you.

The O.C.

2006-08-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to hate on another city's baseball team just because my blood runs Dodger blue but the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim didn't really put on a great game for me on Friday night. The stadium itself seemed so tiny in comparison to Chavez Ravine and there was hardly any audience participation. Where was the incessant organ music? The simultaneous crowd clapping? The wave? I never felt the vibe, the Angels lost and all in all it was kind of a boring game. But it was fun to go and boy did they put on a good fireworks show. Their hotdogs, however, are no Dodger Dogs.
The Doubletree in Orange is a lovely hotel. They give you chocolate chip cookies at check-in for goodness sakes. I recommend you stay there. The bed is like sleeping on a cloud and there are lots of pillows. Neutrogena hair and body products to boot. When I swam in the pool at 3 in the afternoon though I was wondering why they'd build their pool under the shade of their hotel. Made for a chilly dip. I didn't get a chance to stay there very long as I was up before 7 and out the door by 7:30 but it was quite lovely nonetheless. Though they are liarmouths and said they had a shuttle to Edison Field but really it only goes to Disneyland. Jerks.
Saturday morning was spent driving looking for a cup of coffee near any beach and touring the boats. We ended up in Seal Beach after much aimless driving and it was quite nice seeing some people actually catching fish off the pier. Took a little stroll down a historical shopping district, classic Main Street. All very nice and it was very warm. Which naturally led us to a bar for breakfast. After a little more random driving we ended up at Joe Jost's and it was there that I partook in my very first pickled egg with chili peppers and pretzels and a giant goblet of beer. For breakfast. Yum.
After that we ended up at the Block and ate some tapas and drank more beer at Tu Tu Tango. Thanks for the tip, Exile, but I didn't have e-mail so went there without even knowing you suggested it. Creepy. That's were we saw the movie. Good times. Afterwards I swam in the ocean, got sunburned, had some dinner, felt like dying and headed home. After 2 hours in L.A. traffic and getting an egg thrown at my driver's side window on the freeway, I jumped in the shower and fell promptly to sleep at 8:30 p.m.
What a great weekend. It's too bad they couldn't all be like this.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

2006-08-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby since I saw the trailer for it months ago. At the time of the trailer, when I was practically rolling in the aisle in a fit of hysterical laughter at the sight of Will Ferrell blindfolded and wreaking havoc on a small suburban street, Hetero Life Partner warned me then and there that she wouldn't be seeing that one with me. And she didn't. Did I laugh as hard at the movie as I did at that teaser? Not so much. Mind you, of course there are moments of utter stupidity that had me rolling but as far as Will Ferrell movies go, this one just didn't live up to the hype. The best scene? Ricky Bobby saying grace to Tiny Baby Jesus and the bloopers about it while the credits run.
The real scene stealer is Sasha Baron Cohen as Ferrell's racing nemesis. What an accent. The preview for his new Borat movie (coming soon to a theater near you!) had me laughing harder than the feature presentation. The movie also did justice to NASCAR. The racing scenes were awesome and made me actually miss the one time I took a trip out to the California Speedway to take in an actual race up close and personal. But if you're looking for completely off the wall oddball hilarity, you won't find it here. Actually, Talladega is almost as sentimental and family friendly as Kicking & Screaming and we all know how I felt about that. But I still love Will Ferrell and have no doubt that I'll see whatever it is he puts out next.
Dude. What kind of a douchebag am I for linking to my own archives?

Pics From The Weekend

2006-08-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

Angels lose but the Rangers hit a grand slam

Why you crying? And why a fountain in the outfield?

A fireworks extravaganza

Not mine but nice catch nonetheless

Checkin' out the slips and sippin' lotsa cold ones

What Day Is It?

2006-08-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

Silly, Randi! I thought today was Wednesday and that I might have a chance to post some half-nekked apartment pictures but nooooo it's Thursday. Amazing how the days just seem to run into one another. There has literally been nothing of interest going on lately but I feel like I need to post even still. I won't be around this weekend so that's DAYS without posting and that just ain't right.
Where am I going you ask? Well I'm headed down to the OC for work during the day on Friday and then I have a delicious room reserved for me at the Doubletree with a pool I can hear calling my name. After that I'm headed to an Angels game even though I'm not a fan. However, it is on my list of stadiums I need to see before I die. But the clincher? The tickets were comped and there's going to be fireworks! I wonder if my ghetto-ass digital camera will let me snap a few shots for us to enjoy at a later time.
And of course on Saturday I'll be taking in the newest film from my boyfriend, Will Ferrell Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I can honestly barely contain my excitement for this one. I'm like one of the few that thought Anchorman was ridiculously hilarious and I have a feeling Talladega will offer me much of the same.
So that's that. I guess I'll catch up with y'all later.

My Pooper Ex-Hurlfriend

2006-08-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you gaze in awe at the big screen and it's either in a very good way or a very bad way. My Super Ex-Girlfriend was definitely the latter. Perhaps it should have been a sign (or an omen depending on your thoughts on the matter) that I never saw a single preview for this movie on the television. But come on! Uma Thurman? Luke Wilson? Rainn Wilson of The Office fame? The hilarious stand-up comedian Eddie Izzard? That darling blonde lead from the Scary Movie franchise? That has to account for something right? But no. Considering this talented cast I expected way more than what I got. The acting was more fit for a junior high play. The cinematography left much to be desired. Even the special effects were mediocre which seems impossible considering the high tech era we live in. Hell, the costume and make-up people also need to be smacked around a bit. How Ivan Reitman (check out that list of credits!) went from Old School to this piece of garbage I'll never know.
Still want to know what it's about? Well I'm not even sure it'll read interesting. Basically Luke Wilson picks up on Uma Thurman in full on hottie-dressed-as-librarian mode. She's pretty unstable but the sex is good ("A new bed or penis?"). Actually, for a second while I was watching this movie I whispered to my mom, "I didn't realize we were watching soft-core superhero porn" because there are a lot of sexual innuendos. As their relationship goes on he sees she's jealous and insecure and manipulative so he dumps her. At the same time he realizes he's in love with his co-worker and Uma wreaks havoc on their romance. Then Uma's highschool sweetie, played by Izzard, wants to take away her superhero powers so he recruits Luke Wilson. Hilarity is supposed to ensue but never does.
The End.
So can I say anything nice about this movie? Well, there is a pretty good scene with a great white shark thrown through an apartment window in Manhattan. As for the rest of this movie, you will seriously wonder what the hell (and why) you're watching. Thank God for free movie tickets. Skip this one.

So Long, Farewell...

2006-08-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

It is with a heavy heart that I must make the following announcement... Perry and I will no longer be seeing one another on a trainer/client basis. Ha! You thought I was going to quit my blog! DIDN'T YOU?!? Nah, nothing that serious though I do wonder who reads this shit and finds it interesting. Thank you, loyal followers. Anyhoo, back to Perry. Technically I still have another session but I told him last night "That'll do, Pig" and we parted ways. First of all, the wedding is over and I fit in my dress and I lost the 15ish pounds that I wanted to. Secondly, he just hasn't been the nicest trainer lately. I don't need a drill sergeant. If that were the case, I would join Celebrity Fit Club or whatever that insanely addictive program it is they run on VH1. I want someone to coddle me and tell my I'm doing great and whisper "You can do this!" not necessarily telling me to keep a strong stomach and stick your butt out and faster and harder. No. None for me thanks.
Now that doesn't mean I'm quitting the gym. I'm just going to go at my own leisure. I'm also trying to kick it up a notch and follow the Weight Watcher program a little more closely at home. I actually left my training session last night and was able to skip my usual double-double meal at the ol' In-N-Out mere steps from the gym so I could hold it down for my homey on the Sonoma Diet. Instead I hurried home and made a delicious salad made with oh so fresh Farmer's Market veggies. Yum. Now that I'm living on my own it looks like I may have to resort to vegetarianism. I don't like touching meat. Well... that kind of meat any way.
And that's my night in a nutshell. How did I get in this nutshell?

Need A Good Book?

2006-07-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

I devoured Alice Walker's The Color Purple over the weekend. Ate it up and digested it and want to read it again immediately. I'd seen the film when I was in high school and loved it too. I've yet to see the musical but there's a time for everything isn't there? Even though I'm quite the honky I still need to get in touch with the strong black woman that resides deep within me and damned if this isn't the book to do it. Some people might be turned off by the way the book is written because it is basically Celie's letters to God and her sister and Nettie's letters to Celie but I found it captivating. Anyone can tell you a story in a narrative form but you really felt like you were the character when you read the heartfelt letters between the three of them. I laughed, I cried but most of all I learned. Some of us probably take history for granted but it's nice when someone lets you in on their secrets and bring you into a world you knew existed but never experienced. So if you've not read this, buy it. Don't even bother with the library. You will read this again. Promise.

What a Weekend

2006-07-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I've been doing exactly but I do know I have been a busy little beaver. Friday night was a family fun night because my uncle was visiting from San Francisco so it was pretty much a bust. But Saturday? I woke up at the crack of dawn to sell all of my worldly possessions (well what was left of them in storage) at a very successful garage sale. After 4 sweaty hours on a muggy morning I walked away with an extra $300 in cash. Not too shabby especially considering that everything was either a dollar of "veinticinco centavos." Man, am I glad I took Spanish classes for just this sort of occasion. It's amazing that people will haggle you down on garage sale prices even though things are already dirt cheap. Whatever. They did me a favor by taking away all of my junk that's been gathering dust for 2 and a half years. And what they didn't buy the Salvation Army gladly took off my hands for free.
After all my hard work I figured I deserved a treat so I pounded a couple of beers and went to see Monster House with my uncle. Once upon a time, BFF and I were talking and I said I loved movies and she said that I really didn't love movies but more the act of going to see them. She may have a point but movies like Monster House are the kind I do love: amusing characters, an original story line and short but sweet. Once again an animated feature has far surpassed any live action movie I've seen in some time. How do they make it look so real!? I'd take this over Pirates any day. I laughed aloud and was held captive by the plot. And it surprised me that it was a children's movie because there were times I was on the edge of my seat. Basically it's a Halloween-themed cartoon that focuses on a couple of boys and a nasty neighbor. The twist on a classic haunted house theme is that there isn't necessarily a ghost haunting the house but the house itself is terrorizing the neighborhood kids. Maybe take in a matinee, for sure watch the DVD but if you have an extra $10 burning a hole in your pocket you might want to go ahead and see it on the big screen. Or you could just go see Little Man. God help you.
By today, as you can well imagine, I was pooped but I still managed to make it to the farmer's market for some fresh and tasty produce then to the Salsa Festival going on in the park around the corner from my new pad (pictures to follow as soon as my brother can deliver my saucy hand-me-down chair). Can I just give you this tip? If you see a habanero pepper? Pack it up and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Can you say hot? Ten minutes of runny eyes and nose to get my taste buds back. Jesus. I never new my mouth could burn like that. And I think that's about it. Just happy to not have to go to any more weddings or move any more items be it for my own place or for a stupid yard sale. Amen.

Haiku's The Thing

2006-07-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

BFF is gone

Away on business, how nice!
Makes for a long day
***
Yard sale tomorrow
Someone want to buy my stuff?
I could use the cash
***
My uncle's in town
But other than that no plans
Weekend will be chill

(thought I'd throw the bride's bouquet on here for some color)

Accidental HNT

2006-07-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

I love this pic of me and fellow bridesmaid/sister-of-the-groom. It was taken after hours of dancing in the warm rain of Yosemite. I doubt the bride was thrilled about the unexpected shower but I think it was the best thing that could have happened.

And of course I had to post a pic of the horrific French pedi because BFF loves it ever so much. My feet are wet in this one because SUPRISE! it was raining. Sense a theme here?

The Tortilla Curtain

2006-07-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

When I went to my orientation at CSUCI they were handing out T.C. Boyle's "The Tortilla Curtain" for free as a campus-wide curriculum where every member of the faculty and all the students would read this book and they'd work it into our lectures somehow and the author would visit campus sometime during the semester. I'd just read an interesting article about Boyle in Entertainment Weekly so my interest was piqued. Now that I've finished it, though, I'm not too sure about what I've just read. I dig his writing style but in this book seemed to me to just exploit racism much in the same vein as the Academy Award winning movie Crash.
Living in Southern California, one comes face to face with illegal immigrants on a daily basis. I can confess that there have been many a time when the situation has frustrated me into being a bit of a bigot. I'm not going to lie to you all in my blog. And this book tapped into that frustration. Illegal immigration is a hot topic and it can bring out a lot of volatility because everyone has their own opinion of how things should be. Me? I'm all for people trying to seek a better way of life but there are aspects of illegal immigration that I'm just not down with. America is a land of opportunity but there is always a flipside. Not that I want to get into that here. It's merely a book review.
The Tortilla Curtain examines how the lives of two extremely different couples clash and how they are more closely intertwined than they ever imagined. One couple consists of 2 illegal Mexicans trying to get work and survive in the U.S. The others are a couple of well-to-do white yuppies. Both couples, though, are cliche caricatures. I'd like to believe in real life that things aren't really this way but I guess stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. This is a good read but I'm not sure if I'm going to tell you to rush out and buy/borrow the book. The ending left me feeling very unfulfilled but who knows. Maybe I'll reflect back on it in a couple of days and realize I just wasn't deep enough because it's really hot outside.
However, it did pose a lot of deep questions that I can' t seem to stop pondering. When will the excessive way that we live catch up to us and bite us on the ass? When will other countries get sick and tired of us having all the wealth and decide to fight back? Who are we to deny people the opportunity to access the American dream? How long can we close our eyes to the fact that people are going without all around us? How is it that I have a good paying job and can barely afford a wee 1 bedroom apartment yet there are people that make far less than I do living in brand new, super nice, affordable housing? I'm just saying. All empires must fall and I think the U.S. is in for a world of hurt if it doesn't start playing nice with its neighbors.

Yosemite

2006-07-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

Blogger Blows.

2006-07-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

Listen, I've been trying like a mo-fo to give you some gorgeous pictures I took in Yosemite over the weekend but blogger apparently has a bone to pick with me and won't let me upload a single flippin' one of them so sorry. I feel like I'm letting you down especially cuz you know a bitch can take one helluva picture. Oh well. Maybe later. Want a recap? I'll give you a little taste of how my weekend went:
I left for Yosemite after getting my nails did and even succumbed to the peer pressure that is a French pedicure. Even had her throw a little daisy on each big toe for good measure. Then I took off for a 6-hour drive. It was hot. Damn hot. And by the time I was driving into the park it was a full on thunder storm. And a warm one at that. Most of the time I was up there was basically spent kicking it with the bride, her family and helping set up for the wedding. Didn't even squeeze in a hike or any frolicking time in the river.
The wedding was gorgeous, as you'll see when I upload the pictures. The sun scalded our pretty little bridesmaid asses prior to and after the ceremony. By the time we got to the outdoor reception the heat was tolerable. Catering deserves a round of applause because the food was deeelicious and perfect for the weather. Then there was all the ceremony of toasts, first dances and the tossing of the bouquet and the garter. Everything was lovely. By this time everyone is shaking their ass on the dance floor and next thing we know it's a loud clap of thunder and another storm. For like 2 hours we danced in the warm rain and it was just like a scene out of the movies. I hear it's good luck to have rain on your wedding day so let's hope that's true for the bride and groom.
There's so much more to tell but it's time for me to get my heiney to work so I'll dabble bits and pieces later. Or maybe I won't. Because it's my blog even though Blogger won't let me use it the way I want to.

A to Z courtesy of BFF

2006-07-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

A - Available? Yes but I'd rather not be.
B - Best friend? BFF but her real name is Kettle.
C - Crush? In such a bad way it's retarded.
D - Dog's Name? Tippi. As in tip your 40 oz. cuz that bitch is dead.
E - Easiest Person To Talk to? Kettle.
F - Friday or Saturday? Friday because it's the last day of work.
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Bears, especially at the mewvies that are in the Care Bear package. But what kind of random question is this?
H - Hometown? Oxnard
I - If You Could Move Would You? I did move! New apartment is ready to be photoed.
J - Jesus? Is my homeboy. I totally collect his memorabilia.
K - Kids? After babysitting for 15 yrs. I just don't know. But I do know my nephew will be spoiled.
L - Longest Car Ride? I think to Yosemite this weekend as a grown woman but we may have done a cross country jaunt when I was wee.
M - Milk Flavor? Strawberry. Damn you Nestle Quick Bunny.
N - Number Of Siblings? Just my brother Cyoooorteees
O - One Wish? That when I get married it doesn't end in divorce.
P - Phobia(s)? The dark sometimes but mostly heights.
Q - Favorite Quote? "Sup, bitches!"
R - Reason To Smile? Because I just got laid. Oh.
S - Song You Last Heard? Destiny's Child "Jumpin Jumpin"
T - Time you woke up? 6:40 a.m. pacific standard time
U - Unknown Fact About Me? uh... I was born late at night on Thursday the 12th and my mom was freaking out because she thought I'd be born on Friday the 13th.
V - Vegetables You Love? Is an olive a vegetable? Because that'd be the only one I don't care for.
W - Worst Habit? Honestly? Picking my nose. There. I said it. Don't you judge me!
X - X-rays You've Had? Uh, my knee and my side... Nothing too tragic just owies. Never had a broken bone.
Y - Yummy Food? Ice Cream, dude. I can't say no.
Z - Zodiac Sign? Taurus. Just like my first car. LOL

FUCK YOU SPAMMERS!

2006-07-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

So I love you guys and hate the little doomaflachie that requires you to spell wavy words in a box in order for you to tell me how much you loooooooooove my blog but it had to be done. And why? Not because I had one or two easily removed spam notes. Nah, that'd be easy because I'd just go through and erase them one by one so you never had to lay your pretty eyes on them. No, dude, I had FORTY spam comments left last night and enough's enough. I don't want to rehash anything that's been said time and time again by other bloggers but wtf is the purpose of spam? Is anyone really that stupid that they click on the link expecting to win free stuff, make more money, have a bigger dick or get a better sex life? I mean, come on. We're smarter than that aren't we? And why the fake sentiments of "Great! I like what you've done here" before they throw that obnoxious link on my shit? I'm not buying it.
Wow. Talk about a tangent. Not much else has been going on of any interest of late aside from the move and just getting settled. I decided to skip cable and get a computer connection instead so I should be up and running again in no time and I'll be able to post some hot shots of my living spot. But not really so much any HNTs... yet. Maybe.
Haven't really spoke to Supercute/Supernice since he told me he wouldn't be able to make it up last weekend. I guess I have to be patient and secure but neither of those are my strong suit. I'm not so much hating the player, but I'm definitely hating the game. So no news there.
Got my hair did last night and tomorrow is the mani/pedi because it's wedding time! I leave for Yosemite tomorrow morning and I'll be back on Sunday. So don't miss me too much. There won't be anything exciting like a guest blogger. Go visit BFF in the meantime. She's reliable and entertaining, tall and gorgeous. She'll take care of you just like she takes care of me. Promise. There, there now. Don't cry. It's not goodbye, it's see you later.

Just Another Tuesday

2006-07-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

You guys, I did something today that I swore I wasn't going to do ever again. I already broke my promise to myself like 2 weeks ago and yet again I repeated the err of my ways. Back then I told myself, I said, "Randi, you CANNOT let this become a habit!" Yes, it's true. I scolded myself. And then where did I find myself AGAIN this morning? The McDonald's drive-thru. Ordering yet another Sausage McMuffin with egg. Why did I do this? Do I not know that the golden arches lead to not only gastrointestinal distress but obesity as well? Did I not swear to myself that I would never eat at Mickey Dees after watching the disturbing footage in Supersize Me? Man am I glad my fridge is coming today so I can stop this before it becomes a disturbing trend. Yuck. Oh, and how do they get their coffee to such a scalding degree of heat? Just curious.
On another topic entirely, I went to my brother's place last night and watched the DVD of his girlfriend's sonogram. It was in 4-D I think they call it and I was able to actually see little Ethan's nose and feet and ears and face... He's so cute! VERY little. Yet his feet are huge as is his head. Makes sense, though. Those traits seem to run in the family. He kept putting his tiny hands in front of his face or ducking behind a little space in the womb so we're taking that to mean he's either going to be famous and he's practicing ducking the paparazzi or he's going to be a criminal and he's hiding from the surveillance cameras. Only time will tell.

In Bad Shape

2006-07-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

That's not to say I'm "out of shape" but I'm definitely sore, battered and bruised after a relentless move this weekend. It started on my lunch hour on Friday and concluded for the most part sometime yesterday afternoon. There was some falling down, at least 200 trips up and down the 2 flights of stairs at my folks' house then again at my new place and several trips to Target involved but it was a success and I absolutely adore my new little home. All I can say is thank God I've been working out with a trainer for several months now or I would literally be dead on my feet today. That is, if I could stand. I mean, I can stand but wouldn't be able to minus the trainer. I think you get what I'm saying here.
I would like to throw a little PSA out there much in the way BFF did today about cell phones but mine will be about rented storage facilities. If you're planning on storing your things for longer than say 6 months, I would highly advise you to just sell your shit and start over. A #1, renting a facility is costly and B#2, those things are far from air tight so your possessions will definitely be returned to you in a dusty, musty state. Take it from me, I had my worldly belongings stored for 2-1/2 years and most of it is pretty much ruined. It was like a little treasure hunt finding things I'd long since forgotten about though. Hopefully I can make back some of my money at the garage sale at the end of the month.
And in conclusion I discovered something about myself this weekend. If you give me a task, I will develop OCD. My whole apartment literally was deep-cleaned from top to bottom, everything in its place in 2 days. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat and had tunnel vision about making my apartment my own. My muscles are hurting more than when I have my visits with Perry. I was so fatigued that falling asleep wasn't even an option. I don't know if it's a quality to be admired but I sure wish I could put that kind of effort into going to the gym or my school work. That's all I'll say about that.

I Got a New Haiku

2006-07-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

I am on cloud 9

Super cute AND super nice?

Too good to be true

***

Congratulations!

Babe is an associate!

Here's an 'atta boy.

***

Moving day today

16 boxes in my room

Hooray for freedom

Is It A Sign?

2006-07-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

You all know how I feel about my MSN horoscopes and how dead on they are all the time so I did one of those compatability test things for my and my future ex-boyfriend's signs and here's what it said:

Virgo & Taurus
Two Earth-ruled signs which value tranquillity and discretion, they have all the ingredients for a harmonious love affair. Anxious Virgo finds reassurance in the stolid Bull, whereas the Taurean derives needed peace and energy from the Virgoan. A caress, a gaze, a gesture: each is worth a thousand words, when it comes to expressing the tenderness that binds them together. Taurus dominates, to the delight of clinging vine Virgo. "The power of harmony, and the deep power of joy..."

As BFF and I are known to say, "I hope this works..."