It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Need A Good Book?

I devoured Alice Walker's The Color Purple over the weekend. Ate it up and digested it and want to read it again immediately. I'd seen the film when I was in high school and loved it too. I've yet to see the musical but there's a time for everything isn't there? Even though I'm quite the honky I still need to get in touch with the strong black woman that resides deep within me and damned if this isn't the book to do it. Some people might be turned off by the way the book is written because it is basically Celie's letters to God and her sister and Nettie's letters to Celie but I found it captivating. Anyone can tell you a story in a narrative form but you really felt like you were the character when you read the heartfelt letters between the three of them. I laughed, I cried but most of all I learned. Some of us probably take history for granted but it's nice when someone lets you in on their secrets and bring you into a world you knew existed but never experienced. So if you've not read this, buy it. Don't even bother with the library. You will read this again. Promise.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What a Weekend

I don't know what I've been doing exactly but I do know I have been a busy little beaver. Friday night was a family fun night because my uncle was visiting from San Francisco so it was pretty much a bust. But Saturday? I woke up at the crack of dawn to sell all of my worldly possessions (well what was left of them in storage) at a very successful garage sale. After 4 sweaty hours on a muggy morning I walked away with an extra $300 in cash. Not too shabby especially considering that everything was either a dollar of "veinticinco centavos." Man, am I glad I took Spanish classes for just this sort of occasion. It's amazing that people will haggle you down on garage sale prices even though things are already dirt cheap. Whatever. They did me a favor by taking away all of my junk that's been gathering dust for 2 and a half years. And what they didn't buy the Salvation Army gladly took off my hands for free.
After all my hard work I figured I deserved a treat so I pounded a couple of beers and went to see Monster House with my uncle. Once upon a time, BFF and I were talking and I said I loved movies and she said that I really didn't love movies but more the act of going to see them. She may have a point but movies like Monster House are the kind I do love: amusing characters, an original story line and short but sweet. Once again an animated feature has far surpassed any live action movie I've seen in some time. How do they make it look so real!? I'd take this over Pirates any day. I laughed aloud and was held captive by the plot. And it surprised me that it was a children's movie because there were times I was on the edge of my seat. Basically it's a Halloween-themed cartoon that focuses on a couple of boys and a nasty neighbor. The twist on a classic haunted house theme is that there isn't necessarily a ghost haunting the house but the house itself is terrorizing the neighborhood kids. Maybe take in a matinee, for sure watch the DVD but if you have an extra $10 burning a hole in your pocket you might want to go ahead and see it on the big screen. Or you could just go see Little Man. God help you.
By today, as you can well imagine, I was pooped but I still managed to make it to the farmer's market for some fresh and tasty produce then to the Salsa Festival going on in the park around the corner from my new pad (pictures to follow as soon as my brother can deliver my saucy hand-me-down chair). Can I just give you this tip? If you see a habanero pepper? Pack it up and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Can you say hot? Ten minutes of runny eyes and nose to get my taste buds back. Jesus. I never new my mouth could burn like that. And I think that's about it. Just happy to not have to go to any more weddings or move any more items be it for my own place or for a stupid yard sale. Amen.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Haiku's The Thing

BFF is gone
Away on business, how nice!
Makes for a long day

***

Yard sale tomorrow

Someone want to buy my stuff?

I could use the cash
***
My uncle's in town

But other than that no plans

Weekend will be chill


(thought I'd throw the bride's bouquet on here for some color)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Accidental HNT


I love this pic of me and fellow bridesmaid/sister-of-the-groom. It was taken after hours of dancing in the warm rain of Yosemite. I doubt the bride was thrilled about the unexpected shower but I think it was the best thing that could have happened.

And of course I had to post a pic of the horrific French pedi because BFF loves it ever so much. My feet are wet in this one because SUPRISE! it was raining. Sense a theme here?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Tortilla Curtain

When I went to my orientation at CSUCI they were handing out T.C. Boyle's "The Tortilla Curtain" for free as a campus-wide curriculum where every member of the faculty and all the students would read this book and they'd work it into our lectures somehow and the author would visit campus sometime during the semester. I'd just read an interesting article about Boyle in Entertainment Weekly so my interest was piqued. Now that I've finished it, though, I'm not too sure about what I've just read. I dig his writing style but in this book seemed to me to just exploit racism much in the same vein as the Academy Award winning movie Crash.
Living in Southern California, one comes face to face with illegal immigrants on a daily basis. I can confess that there have been many a time when the situation has frustrated me into being a bit of a bigot. I'm not going to lie to you all in my blog. And this book tapped into that frustration. Illegal immigration is a hot topic and it can bring out a lot of volatility because everyone has their own opinion of how things should be. Me? I'm all for people trying to seek a better way of life but there are aspects of illegal immigration that I'm just not down with. America is a land of opportunity but there is always a flipside. Not that I want to get into that here. It's merely a book review.
The Tortilla Curtain examines how the lives of two extremely different couples clash and how they are more closely intertwined than they ever imagined. One couple consists of 2 illegal Mexicans trying to get work and survive in the U.S. The others are a couple of well-to-do white yuppies. Both couples, though, are cliche caricatures. I'd like to believe in real life that things aren't really this way but I guess stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. This is a good read but I'm not sure if I'm going to tell you to rush out and buy/borrow the book. The ending left me feeling very unfulfilled but who knows. Maybe I'll reflect back on it in a couple of days and realize I just wasn't deep enough because it's really hot outside.
However, it did pose a lot of deep questions that I can' t seem to stop pondering. When will the excessive way that we live catch up to us and bite us on the ass? When will other countries get sick and tired of us having all the wealth and decide to fight back? Who are we to deny people the opportunity to access the American dream? How long can we close our eyes to the fact that people are going without all around us? How is it that I have a good paying job and can barely afford a wee 1 bedroom apartment yet there are people that make far less than I do living in brand new, super nice, affordable housing? I'm just saying. All empires must fall and I think the U.S. is in for a world of hurt if it doesn't start playing nice with its neighbors.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Yosemite








Blogger Blows.

Listen, I've been trying like a mo-fo to give you some gorgeous pictures I took in Yosemite over the weekend but blogger apparently has a bone to pick with me and won't let me upload a single flippin' one of them so sorry. I feel like I'm letting you down especially cuz you know a bitch can take one helluva picture. Oh well. Maybe later. Want a recap? I'll give you a little taste of how my weekend went:
I left for Yosemite after getting my nails did and even succumbed to the peer pressure that is a French pedicure. Even had her throw a little daisy on each big toe for good measure. Then I took off for a 6-hour drive. It was hot. Damn hot. And by the time I was driving into the park it was a full on thunder storm. And a warm one at that. Most of the time I was up there was basically spent kicking it with the bride, her family and helping set up for the wedding. Didn't even squeeze in a hike or any frolicking time in the river.
The wedding was gorgeous, as you'll see when I upload the pictures. The sun scalded our pretty little bridesmaid asses prior to and after the ceremony. By the time we got to the outdoor reception the heat was tolerable. Catering deserves a round of applause because the food was deeelicious and perfect for the weather. Then there was all the ceremony of toasts, first dances and the tossing of the bouquet and the garter. Everything was lovely. By this time everyone is shaking their ass on the dance floor and next thing we know it's a loud clap of thunder and another storm. For like 2 hours we danced in the warm rain and it was just like a scene out of the movies. I hear it's good luck to have rain on your wedding day so let's hope that's true for the bride and groom.
There's so much more to tell but it's time for me to get my heiney to work so I'll dabble bits and pieces later. Or maybe I won't. Because it's my blog even though Blogger won't let me use it the way I want to.

Monday, July 24, 2006

A to Z courtesy of BFF

A - Available? Yes but I'd rather not be.
B - Best friend? BFF but her real name is Kettle.
C - Crush? In such a bad way it's retarded.
D - Dog's Name? Tippi. As in tip your 40 oz. cuz that bitch is dead.
E - Easiest Person To Talk to? Kettle.
F - Friday or Saturday? Friday because it's the last day of work.
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Bears, especially at the mewvies that are in the Care Bear package. But what kind of random question is this?
H - Hometown? Oxnard
I - If You Could Move Would You? I did move! New apartment is ready to be photoed.
J - Jesus? Is my homeboy. I totally collect his memorabilia.
K - Kids? After babysitting for 15 yrs. I just don't know. But I do know my nephew will be spoiled.
L - Longest Car Ride? I think to Yosemite this weekend as a grown woman but we may have done a cross country jaunt when I was wee.
M - Milk Flavor? Strawberry. Damn you Nestle Quick Bunny.
N - Number Of Siblings? Just my brother Cyoooorteees
O - One Wish? That when I get married it doesn't end in divorce.
P - Phobia(s)? The dark sometimes but mostly heights.
Q - Favorite Quote? "Sup, bitches!"
R - Reason To Smile? Because I just got laid. Oh.
S - Song You Last Heard? Destiny's Child "Jumpin Jumpin"
T - Time you woke up? 6:40 a.m. pacific standard time
U - Unknown Fact About Me? uh... I was born late at night on Thursday the 12th and my mom was freaking out because she thought I'd be born on Friday the 13th.
V - Vegetables You Love? Is an olive a vegetable? Because that'd be the only one I don't care for.
W - Worst Habit? Honestly? Picking my nose. There. I said it. Don't you judge me!
X - X-rays You've Had? Uh, my knee and my side... Nothing too tragic just owies. Never had a broken bone.
Y - Yummy Food? Ice Cream, dude. I can't say no.
Z - Zodiac Sign? Taurus. Just like my first car. LOL

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

FUCK YOU SPAMMERS!

So I love you guys and hate the little doomaflachie that requires you to spell wavy words in a box in order for you to tell me how much you loooooooooove my blog but it had to be done. And why? Not because I had one or two easily removed spam notes. Nah, that'd be easy because I'd just go through and erase them one by one so you never had to lay your pretty eyes on them. No, dude, I had FORTY spam comments left last night and enough's enough. I don't want to rehash anything that's been said time and time again by other bloggers but wtf is the purpose of spam? Is anyone really that stupid that they click on the link expecting to win free stuff, make more money, have a bigger dick or get a better sex life? I mean, come on. We're smarter than that aren't we? And why the fake sentiments of "Great! I like what you've done here" before they throw that obnoxious link on my shit? I'm not buying it.
Wow. Talk about a tangent. Not much else has been going on of any interest of late aside from the move and just getting settled. I decided to skip cable and get a computer connection instead so I should be up and running again in no time and I'll be able to post some hot shots of my living spot. But not really so much any HNTs... yet. Maybe.
Haven't really spoke to Supercute/Supernice since he told me he wouldn't be able to make it up last weekend. I guess I have to be patient and secure but neither of those are my strong suit. I'm not so much hating the player, but I'm definitely hating the game. So no news there.
Got my hair did last night and tomorrow is the mani/pedi because it's wedding time! I leave for Yosemite tomorrow morning and I'll be back on Sunday. So don't miss me too much. There won't be anything exciting like a guest blogger. Go visit BFF in the meantime. She's reliable and entertaining, tall and gorgeous. She'll take care of you just like she takes care of me. Promise. There, there now. Don't cry. It's not goodbye, it's see you later.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Just Another Tuesday

You guys, I did something today that I swore I wasn't going to do ever again. I already broke my promise to myself like 2 weeks ago and yet again I repeated the err of my ways. Back then I told myself, I said, "Randi, you CANNOT let this become a habit!" Yes, it's true. I scolded myself. And then where did I find myself AGAIN this morning? The McDonald's drive-thru. Ordering yet another Sausage McMuffin with egg. Why did I do this? Do I not know that the golden arches lead to not only gastrointestinal distress but obesity as well? Did I not swear to myself that I would never eat at Mickey Dees after watching the disturbing footage in Supersize Me? Man am I glad my fridge is coming today so I can stop this before it becomes a disturbing trend. Yuck. Oh, and how do they get their coffee to such a scalding degree of heat? Just curious.
On another topic entirely, I went to my brother's place last night and watched the DVD of his girlfriend's sonogram. It was in 4-D I think they call it and I was able to actually see little Ethan's nose and feet and ears and face... He's so cute! VERY little. Yet his feet are huge as is his head. Makes sense, though. Those traits seem to run in the family. He kept putting his tiny hands in front of his face or ducking behind a little space in the womb so we're taking that to mean he's either going to be famous and he's practicing ducking the paparazzi or he's going to be a criminal and he's hiding from the surveillance cameras. Only time will tell.

Monday, July 17, 2006

In Bad Shape

That's not to say I'm "out of shape" but I'm definitely sore, battered and bruised after a relentless move this weekend. It started on my lunch hour on Friday and concluded for the most part sometime yesterday afternoon. There was some falling down, at least 200 trips up and down the 2 flights of stairs at my folks' house then again at my new place and several trips to Target involved but it was a success and I absolutely adore my new little home. All I can say is thank God I've been working out with a trainer for several months now or I would literally be dead on my feet today. That is, if I could stand. I mean, I can stand but wouldn't be able to minus the trainer. I think you get what I'm saying here.
I would like to throw a little PSA out there much in the way BFF did today about cell phones but mine will be about rented storage facilities. If you're planning on storing your things for longer than say 6 months, I would highly advise you to just sell your shit and start over. A #1, renting a facility is costly and B#2, those things are far from air tight so your possessions will definitely be returned to you in a dusty, musty state. Take it from me, I had my worldly belongings stored for 2-1/2 years and most of it is pretty much ruined. It was like a little treasure hunt finding things I'd long since forgotten about though. Hopefully I can make back some of my money at the garage sale at the end of the month.
And in conclusion I discovered something about myself this weekend. If you give me a task, I will develop OCD. My whole apartment literally was deep-cleaned from top to bottom, everything in its place in 2 days. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat and had tunnel vision about making my apartment my own. My muscles are hurting more than when I have my visits with Perry. I was so fatigued that falling asleep wasn't even an option. I don't know if it's a quality to be admired but I sure wish I could put that kind of effort into going to the gym or my school work. That's all I'll say about that.

Friday, July 14, 2006

I Got a New Haiku

I am on cloud 9
Super cute AND super nice?
Too good to be true
***
Congratulations!
Babe is an associate!
Here's an 'atta boy.
***
Moving day today
16 boxes in my room
Hooray for freedom

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Is It A Sign?

You all know how I feel about my MSN horoscopes and how dead on they are all the time so I did one of those compatability test things for my and my future ex-boyfriend's signs and here's what it said:

Virgo & Taurus
Two Earth-ruled signs which value tranquillity and discretion, they have all the ingredients for a harmonious love affair. Anxious Virgo finds reassurance in the stolid Bull, whereas the Taurean derives needed peace and energy from the Virgoan. A caress, a gaze, a gesture: each is worth a thousand words, when it comes to expressing the tenderness that binds them together. Taurus dominates, to the delight of clinging vine Virgo. "The power of harmony, and the deep power of joy..."

As BFF and I are known to say, "I hope this works..."

Retiring

After 30 HNTs I've decided to retire for now. I'd hate it if I had some loyal follower that showed up every Thursday expecting to see some skin and have said follower walk away from my blog feeling tragically denied so I thought I'd throw out the disclaimer. This could end up being how Cher retired and came back and retired and came back but for right now I'm on an indefinite hiatus. Plus, at my new spot I won't have internet access or a computer. That mostly has to do with me being at poverty level for the time being so I'm probably not going to be downloading half-nekked pics at the office. Just trying to be true to you. But I guess it's all part of growing up and moving out of my parent's house... again. Had to do it before i turned 30. Yikes!
Some of you have asked me about the new apartment so I guess I could give you the boring details now. It's a one-bedroom, loft-style number that's on the second floor of a pretty small complex. The space is too big for just me yet too small for two if you can picture that. When you walk through the door there's a staircase that leads up to the loft area where I have the worlds most wee closet, a bathroom and a nice space for my bedroom. Downstairs is your standard living area and a pretty decent sized kitchen. You can see up to the loft from downstairs and I think it's quite cozy. There is very little storage space but that's ok for now. It's a month-to-month lease so if I hate it I'll leave. Pretty simple. Move-in day is Saturday so if you have a truck, come on over. I'll reward you with pizza and beer.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Yo Ho Yo Ho

And no I'm not giving shout-outs to me up there. I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest last night. I'm a sucker for swashbuckling but I do have to admit this one had me really confused. It's been a couple years since I saw the original so I was not really following every little thing that happened. If this movie doesn't win an Oscar for make-up, though, then something is very wrong "in the biz" if you will. Super scary carbuncles and barnacle-faced bad guys. Bad teeth EVERYWHERE. Yuck. Someone involved in the character development in this movie did a lot of acid while deep sea diving methinks. Johnny Depp was hilarious and had me giggling like a school girl. Orlando Bloom was practically non-existent in this movie as far as I'm concerned. Keira Knightley needs to remove the Crest White Strips that are permanently affixed therefore affecting how her top lip floats above her teeth in an unnatural way. But otherwise she wasn't particularly annoying in this mewvie even though I hater. Also dope was they way they tied in so many elements of the ride in the film, for instance: the dog with the keys in his mouth, the fireflies at the beginning near the swamp house and the whores chasing their men. Good times indeed. Dead Man's Chest runs a bit long at 2 and a half hours and the end will leave you wondering wtf you just watched but satisfied knowing there will be a sequel that will provide you a little closure. I say see the first one before you take this one in then maybe you'll know lots more than I do.

Monday, July 10, 2006

More Photos

lovely maids all in a row

beer ad much?

These are the breaks...

So I have a minute or seven left on my lunch break so I thought I'd give a shout out to my blog peeps and let them know I had a fantabulous weekend. Pictures to follow but I thought it might be nice to tell a little tale seeing as I haven't done that in a while. On Friday night I watched my beloved boys in blue put the smack down on the Giants so right away I knew it was going to be a goodie. I decided against pursuing things with the six-foot-sevener because we work together and I don't think one should shit where they eat per se. I'm sure there's a nicer way to say that but I just don't care at this point.
On Saturday morning I headed down to the O.C. to watch two very dear friends wed one another. It was a loooooooong yet gorgeous bilingual Catholic ceremony where mid-mass I told BFF a crass joke about our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. It went something like this "If you're Jesus and you know it, clap your hands." It's funny because, you know, his arms are nailed to a crucifix. I'm definitely going to hell but it was worth it. She and I totally broke rank and tried to run out of the church before our pew was dismissed. It must be all that Catholic school catching up to us. Run for your life.
On our way from the church to the reception the zipper on my fucking brand new dress ripped open exposing my back to the world. At one point I had 5 other girls in the room with my dress over my head being safety-pinned in an unimaginable way. BFF handled that shit though so I was all set and my dress took on the mystique of a dominatrix. Hot. The reception was wonderful but it's hard to truly enjoy yourself when it's 100 degrees outside. Dancing isn't really an option so much as sitting totally still under an umbrella and consuming many many beers. Delicious. Fresh tunes, good company, it was a really good time. They had a tequila toast for God's sake, who can argue with that?
After the party there was the after-party at the hotel and after we got a good swim on we went ahead and drank beer for a while before I decided the heat had gotten the best of me at about 1 a.m. and headed back to my handicapped hotel room. Bars all over the place! Haha. Good times. On Sunday the newly wedded couple held a "Tournaboda" cookout in the extreme head. I partook in some good eats and listened to a lot of World Cup cheering. It was a helluva good day. I have the pleasure of announcing that I met a super nice, super cute guy again. We'd kicked it once before about a year ago but I think it may blossom into something a little more if there is a God in heaven and He/She is in a prayer answering mood. We shall see but I'm trying not to get too excited lest the disappointment monster attack me again. This is the first time EVER that I've attempted to carry on with a white guy. Maybe that will change it up a bit. Wish me luck.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Eye Spy A Catepillar


Friday, July 07, 2006

Haiku De Viernes

Dodger game tonight
My boy Gagne has booboos
Giants can suck it
***
Met myself a man
A bit young at 26
He's 6 foot 7
***
37 Years
Happy Anniversary
Mom and Dad you rule

Thursday, July 06, 2006

HNTan Lines


The defining moment of summer is the subtle tan lines on my feet from my Reef sandals. Please disregard the monkey toes or I shall pick you up with them and toss you across the room. Happy HNT, Fellow Bloggers.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July

Car show in Fillmore and a patriotic corn on the cob
My nephew-in-the-making and the man who started it all stuffing his face
A fake-ass duck and some Americana for that ass

Monday, July 03, 2006

Weekend Update

What did I do this weekend? Well, practically nothing actually. I did have many a beer and caught many a ray of sun but other than that I chilled. Hard. Didn't really leave the house much unless it was to drink or eat. On Friday afternoon I went to check out my soon-to-be new pad. Just have to make it through the application process. It's a cute little one bedroom loft style apartment. It's not exactly "big" per se but it's spacious enough for lonely old me. If there was another person living with me though I think it'd be a bit too cozy. It's affordable and in a quiet old 'hood so I'm happy. Plus, it's not with my parents and it's closer to work. So cross your fingers for me.
On Saturday I detailed Vehicular and my dad's GIGANTIC Expedition for a total of three hours. Baked some chocolate chip cookies even though it was 80 degrees outside and not exactly "baking weather." Made myself go to the gym on Sunday. Laid out at the pool both days so I have the cool bikini tan lines that I live for each summer rendering my booty and boobies a glowing white while the rest of me is a lovely sun-kissed golden brown. Yah... that's it. Which is fine by me because July is looking to be a bit relentless schedule-wise. I've got a Dodger game this weekend as well as a wedding. Then next weekend is my move (knock on wood). Then another wedding. Then a garage sale. Busy hands are happy hands right?