It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Last Night

I believe today's scary MSN horoscope sums it all up quite nicely:

April 19 - May 19

When it comes to relationships with others, be careful about insisting that everything be done your way and your way only, dear Taurus. It could be that you have such high expectations of your partner that they will never be able to live up to your standards. Basically you are setting up the stage for failure by demanding that the person for you is of a certain make and model.

In other words, I didn't get my way. And fuck if MSN isn't dead on all the time. I am demanding and I do have high expectations. In my mind, I spent the last 40 days holding out from sexual temptation and entertaining him with daily letters and accepting hella expensive phone calls and now that he's home I want a little attention. And the worst part about it? Deep down inside I kind of knew shit wasn't going to go down like I wanted it to. I knew I was going to end up disappointed. Just goes to show you, trust your instincts.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


My beau is home! I actually got to call him on his cell phone instead of having to accept some expensive-ass collect call from him! Forty days later and mama is ready for some one-on-one time. If only this day would creep by a little faster and we'd be all set. Not that I'm eager or anything. No sirree.
What else is new? Well today I'm partially paralyzed from the waist down after another grueling session with Perry. This time, during a particularly painful exercise, he had my shoulders on the ball with my body out flat, knees bent so my legs are at a 90 degree angle. Then I held 2 10-pound weights at my waist and did some sort of lowering, rolling motion until my butt touched the ground and in order for me to get back to the starting position I actually had to do what resembled a pelvic thrust. Another young man at the gym sure got his jollies on watching that go down, I can tell you that much. Perry tried to run defense and stand between me and the creep but to no avail. So today I can barely get out of a chair without grunting. I doubt that will hinder my sex appeal any.
I'm pretty proud of myself for actually dragging my lazy behind out of bed and getting to the gym by 5:30 a.m. I forgot how nice it was seeing the sun rise. All the machines and weights were free. And there's nothing better than knowing I can go straight home (or in tonight's case, into my lover's arms - gag me with a spoon) right after a long work day. MMM good.
Holy shit! I just had a major case of vertigo while I typed that last sentence! It looked like my computer was going to fall off my desk! hahaha. Ever wake up with a start in the middle of the night because you felt like you were falling? Same shit. Awesome. Hope that doesn't happen when I'm in the car. So... in other words... yah. I got nothin'.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

My Nephew!

Peanut has a Pe-nus! Yay! So far to be named Ethan Aloysius... but that can change between now and at least October 23rd. To say I'm elated to be an auntie is the understatement of the century. And a boy? Well that is no less than bliss.

But I Like The Cookie...

Evidence of the sad state of affairs in today's cinematic world is found in the fact that an animated film can far surpass one of the most hyped movie of the spring thus far. DaVinci Code? You can't hold a candle to Over The Hedge. Not only is this "cartoon" (are they still called that or should I refer to it as CGI movie?) chock full of adorable animals but it's got heart and is action-packed. When a spastic squirrel, voiced by the comic genius that is Steve Carrell, can make me squeal with delight and double-over with laughter, I'm sold. The creatures and characters in OTH are brought to life by a star-filled cast, each very suited to the animal (or human) they have been assigned. William Shatner's possum was dramatically hilarious. And while there are clear messages of how suburban developments are taking over wildlife, nothing is more important than family and junk food is bad, none of that ever come across as preachy. Plus, who are we kidding, this movie is just cute and silly. Reason enough for me to tell you, go see it. The adults in the theater laughed just as hard, if not harder, than the many kids that were watching with them.
On a completely separate note, if any of my avid fan base (if by "avid fan base" I mean my 20 odd readers) live in the Los Angeles area and is jonesing for some delicious Indian food, please go to Anarkali located at the intersection of Melrose and La Brea. It's lovely inside and the waiters are amazing. They are gracious and friendly never rush you through your meal. For very affordable prices you can eat FOR DAYS. I get nothing from this public service announcement other than the satisfaction of knowing that you'll be gettin' some good eats. And if a member of your party doesn't have an itch for Indian, tell them they can grab a hot dog at the world famous Pink's across the street. Do it. See if I care.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Tee Gee Aye Eff

Oh, Haiku Friday
BFF is so clever
I just copy her
Long weekend ahead
Lots of relaxing to do
Maybe a movie?
Only four more days
'Til my boy toy comes back home
It has been TOO long

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Fully Clothed Thursday

After all of the pictures I've posted this week, doing HNT just seemed like overkill for me. Next week. And besides, last night I was too busy watching the American Idol finale. Yes, I think it's time for me to confess I have a problem. The other night, when it was down to Katherine and Taylor I really would have voted if only I'd had my glasses on and could have actually read the phone numbers on the screen. It's so fun getting older. A few of the girls and I got together for a wee pot luck dinner to further the festivities of it all. What surprises me about AI is that it has to be the least hip show as far as music selections and guests go yet it is the most popular show in the world. I can't figure that out. Is everyone a closet-80s music fan like me? If so, awesome. Now for the breakdown:
  • What about the freak who auditioned looking like Clay Aiken? Can you believe he sang like he thought he was a superstar? And what about his face when Clay joined him on stage? Or Clay's hair? Wow.
  • I dug the cheesiness of the auditions handed out as Golden Idols. I confess. The whole Brokeback montage with the cowboys, though, not so much.
  • Mandisa needs her own record deal. I don't know why she didn't make it to the top 2 and McPhee did.
  • Prince is a pimp. End of story. I'm really going to need to rush out and get his new album. He is so little yet exudes such greatness. What an icon. And he didn't waste any time rushing off that stage. Ryan Douchebag never had a chance to say hi he was gone so fast.
  • Toni Braxton's voice was so low I couldn't even hear her singing with Taylor. And how do you shake your ass to Elvis's "In the Ghetto," a song about poverty?
  • Mary J. Blige is incredible minus her very unattractive sunglasses but damn she was a song hog. Poor Elliot. This was his moment to shine and she took over.
  • Meatloaf and Katherine McPhee? Really? Singing Celine Dion? Save the dramatics.
  • That big girl with the hooker ensemble... I gotta hand it to her, she has a good sense of humor to accept her "award" but damn... if my stomach hung out twixt my halter top and mini skirt like that I don't know if I'd be showing it off on TV. Twice.
  • Last night was the first time ever I heard Carrie Underwood sing. She's good! Loved her makeup though I would've gone with a darker gloss.
  • I kept waiting for Kellie Pickler to holler, "Sumbitch!" at Wolfgang Puck. And no, Ryan, his name isn't "Wolfie." But really, who is afraid of lobsters?
  • I'm tired of reading the following words when referring to Taylor Hicks: pre-maturely gray; chubby; geriatric - HE IS 29!
  • And FYI, the front page of the Ventura Star today was the American Idol winner. Isn't there a war going on? High gas prices? Immigration issues? No?

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


  • There is no way Katherine McPhee is winning American Idol. Each of her performances on last night's show paled in comparison to Taylor Hicks. If she does happen to snatch the title, it is solely because of her looks, boobies and the fact that she has a vagina.
  • Got my final grade in my last math test ever: B. A big, fat B. It's no A but at least I passed that mo-fo. Now they can't take away my AA. It was even in the paper that I graduated. Too bad I missed the damn ceremony.
  • Weight Watchers no more. Yesterday was the final weigh-in and I didn't even bother show my sorry ass considering I doubled my weight the night before at the game. Oh, Dodger Dogs. So delicious. I figure at this point in my life I don't need someone telling me how much I weigh once a week. Those Tuesday mornings really brought me down even if I only gained like point-2. I figure if I exercise, watch what I eat on my own and can still pull my pants on without a struggle, then all is right with the world.
  • Speaking of exercise, Perry and I had an insane isometric work out yesterday and he worked that ass. I was moaning and groaning and huffing and puffing like I was in labor. At one point I looked up from the torture to see a lovely lady on a machine was having a field day giggling at my struggles. It's always nice to get a laugh at one's own expense.
  • The man gets back in 6 days. After 34 waitin' I'm damn ready for some loving. That's really all I'm going to say about that.

Happy Hump day to one and all.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

We Are Family

I didn't realize this blog was turning into a photo gallery-slash-movie review haven! Surely you're all wondering, "What about Randi?" so I'll try and give you a little some-some. Or sumpin' sumpin' depending on who you are and where you come from.
This weekend I realized there is such thing as too much family time and I'm starting to get that itch to move out of my parents house once again. It comes every couple of months then settles down again but I guess that's only natural seeing as I'm a grown ass woman and should really be living on my own by now. But let us not forget, I did move away for about 8 years so do not think I'm some kind of freeloadin' good for nothin'. This whole move back home thing was so I could return to school without the added headache of rent. Plus I work and try not to mooch too hard but who am I to stop my folks from spoiling me? Anywho, now that I work for my Dad it's like there's very little time in my life when I'm not with a blood relation. Yikes.
I love my family dearly and I'm actually pretty proud to say that we are a very tight-knit group of people. Sure, there's your every day dose of dysfunction but it's not like, say, my Dad's sisters who all have issues with substance abuse, records of run-ins with the law and bastard children. Ok, I take that back, my brother has all of those things going for him but I digress. He makes up for it by bringing to the table a sister I never would have had without Frannie and a new baby niece/nephew on the way as well as being an all around dope buddy. It is with the absolute truth that I can say my mother is practically a best friend to me. Sure she bugs the shit out of me by not acknowledging the fact that I'm an adult but there isn't a lack of trust or underlying hatred twixt us and for that I'm grateful. My Dad, well, everybody loves that guy. My grandparents are a hoot and my life would be so dull without them. My uncle Bub is the older brother I never had but always longed for and his boyfriend (Hub) is the amazing auntie that makes up for the 3 crazies that belong to my dad.
But a whole weekend with them, literally once a day with at least one of them for 4 days straight, was enough to birth a migraine for me. Is it so wrong to want to go a day without a phone call from my mother just to see what I'm doing? Can I really not work without someone mentioning "Doug, uh, your Dad?" or "Aren't you Doug's daughter?" Must I check in at all times? Am I really not going to be able to sleep with my boyfriend when he gets home a week from today? All of this I choose in lieu of paying rent. And sometimes I wonder... is it all worth it? But then I'll go home to a beautiful home, a hot meal waiting for me and good company. And in the morning, if I want it, breakfast will be there, ready and waiting... It's a tough decision that requires a dose of venting every now and then but I guess I can't complain. So thanks for reading and letting me work that out.

Dodgers 6, Rockies 1

Field Level, Bitches!

Random Kid

My Hetero Life Partner, Oly

No-Mah and Clint Barmes (favorite name in baseball)
Dodgers Win and High Fives

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The DaVinci Code

When I read this book shortly after it came out I was quite pleased with it (and if you like this one, check out the darker Angels & Demons which also stars the Robert Langdon character). Not only was it fun with lots of cliff hangers and new-to-me cultural information, but it also, in a light-hearted sort of way, challenged beliefs that had basically been force-fed to me since the ripe young age of a kindergarten student. Would it be so awful if Jesus was a married man? Would it make him any less of a religious icon? Could these paintings and symbology really be proof that Catholicism is all make-believe? Considering the cover-ups involving priests and young boys is it so far fetched that the Church could cover up that there could be descendents of Jesus? Then again, could Dan Brown just have written an insanely contagious fictional book that would reign supreme as a best-seller for longer than anyone could have imagined?
Thanks to some very unkind reviews, I didn't go into the movie expecting very much. As for all of the hype, well quite frankly I don't know what the uber-religious were worried about. This is a treasure-hunt of a thriller that makes use of some lovely locations and catchy cinematography. Will it make you want to cancel your Church membership? Not any more than a trip to the library or a challenging conversation with a close friend over a cup of coffee on the same topic would. Ian McKellen steals every scene he is in (though I recommend Gods and Monsters if you want to see him in a really great role). Audrey Tautou is a lovely woman but I found her much more likeable in Amelie, a movie that anyone who has the slightest romantic inclination needs to see. Jean Reno (who is in so many movies yet I can never remember his name) is once again dope but not in the movie for nearly enough time. And Paul Bettany's albino made me more uncomfortable than scared which is no where near the way I felt when reading the character in the book. As for Tom Hanks, he made no more of an impression on me as symbologist Robert Langdon than a wet dish rag would have. In the book he is described as Harrison Ford in Harrison Tweed and I think we'd have been better off seeing Mr. Ford in the role. Langdon's character reads as very brave and heroic yet on the screen he is little more than an accomplice to Tautou's character. So did I love the movie? Not really. But I didn't hate it either. I just don't think the hype did this movie any favors nor does the fact that the book is so far superior. Film will never reach the depths that words on a page can, there is no denying that fact.

Dodgers 7, Angels 0

Chavez Ravine

Me, Eli, Curtis & Frances

Saturday, May 20, 2006

At The Beach In Oxnard

Paparazzi and Hub & Bub
The Surf and Hub & Randi

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Anniversary HNT

I asked my brother to take a picture of me in my new dress on Mother's Day so I could send it to my boyfriend that I haven't seen in almost a month. This is what he took, smart ass that he is:

Needless to say, I still sent it. Hope you have a happy anniversary HNT! My first attempt (along with the next 24) can be found in the archives. Big ups go to Osbasso for creating a very addictive and long-lasting monster!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Hear That?

It's the fat lady singing. That's right, folks! School is officially out for summer. I just got done taking my final exam and it feels so good. Can't say I did amazingly on this one but it doesn't much matter seeing as I went into it with a 95% average. Even if I bomb the test I pass the class with a B or a C. Unfortunately there has to be bad news too. While I was sitting in my car in the campus parking lot doing some last minute studying I happened to spy with my little eye quite a few caps and gowns. When I got into class, I heard one of my classmates saying how she just went through the graduation ceremony. WTF? First of all, her receipt of said diploma was dependent on her passing the same math class we were taking the final in. Just. Like. Me. So this all leaves me wondering where the hell my phone call was. Where's my invitation? Where THE FUCK is my cap and gown? Maybe not everyone makes a big deal about an AA BUT I DO. I'm the only member of my family to have any sort of degree to her name and, dammit, that's cause for celebration in my book. Oh well. I guess I'll just patiently wait another 3 years for my next opportunity for pomp and circumstance. Incompetent sonsofbitches at VC.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Meltdown

And before any of you get too concerned, I'm talking about the Ice Age sequel, not my personal life. I don't know what it is about a bunch of CGI prehistoric creatures that turn me into a sentimental sap but they just have a way of tugging at my heart strings. I'll be the first to admit I cried during the first movie when I thought Diego the Sabertooth Tiger was dying. And I cried again at the end of The Meltdown, too! See what I mean about being a wuss? It probably didn't help that there were a total of 4 people in the theater and only 1 of us was of appropriate viewing age and she kept asking "Where did Manny (the Wooly Mammoth for those of you not in the know) go?" in the cutest little voice ever to be heard. The show's scene stealer was that little squirrel Scrat that keeps chasing his acorn all through the land. In the original Ice Age he was little more than a pre-movie treat but now he's been promoted to co-star. Queen Latifah joins the cast as "the other Mammoth," Ellie as well as her 2 possum siblings, one of whom is voiced by Sean William Scott of Dude, Where's My Car? fame. Don't ask. I'd be lying if I didn't confess that the story line itself was pretty weak but the characters kept me amused and I laughed out loud a few times. I'll never stop being impressed with how computer animation can mimic water and fur or even wet fur so realistically. While I wouldn't necessarily pay full price to see this bad boy in the theater I'd say it's worth a rental or a matinee. Or if you're like my mom, pick up the DVD for your future grandchildren. It's grown up enough to be entertaining with quite a few famous names voicing some darling characters and if your kids are anything like the darling little girl in the movie theater, they'll love it just because of Sid the Sloth's little song and dance number alone.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Playing Catch Up

First and foremost thanks to all of you out in the blog world that took a second out of your very busy work days (yah right!) to wish me happy happies on my birthday. What a day it was. Every year at least one person asks me "So do you feel any different now that you're a year older" and this time I really did! I looked in the mirror and I hate to wax philosophical but I just felt good... comfortable in my own skin I guess is the best way to describe it. And throughout the day I think people could sense a change in me because I was getting all kinds of good vibes! So I really think 29 is going to suit me just fine.
This weekend was a tequila and margarita-filled haze if I'm to be totally honest with you. I had a nice little farewell happy hour with about 20 of my co-workers, friends and family. Plus it was my birthday so many free drinks were coming my way. I wish I had a picture of the birthday hat I got from the Yolanda's staff but it was a napkin weighted down with 2 breath mints by each ear and atop it was a pink helium balloon. Nothing like a Spanish-themed birthday serenade and flan. Afterwards Kitty and Carl treated me to a sushi dinner that was deeelicious. And we got comped free drinks because our order got lost. Just what we needed! The waiter even sang to me in Italian for my birthday. Random. As I stumbled out of the restaurant I actually thought it would be a good idea to steal one of the porcelain good luck cats. Needless to say, it was glued down, I made an ass of myself and ended up walking away with an origami crane. Lame.
Saturday might as well have never happened. It was a series of naps and binge-eating stints that eventually led to dinner in LA with 5 girlfriends at El Cholo, one of my absolute favorite restaurants. They make coconut margaritas that are to die for but, natch, I had to take it a step too far and do a tequila shot. I didn't learn my lesson from the night before when my boss forced the work gang to do a last-hoorah shot together. Oh, no. Not only was I on the verge of booting but I couldn't partake in my deeelicious dinner of their specialty, May through October only, Green Corn tamales. Booo! I did learn a valuable lesson though: 29 means no more consecutive days of drinking in my future. And for God's sake, no more tequila shots!
Sunday, dia de los madres, was a blast. We had delicious brunch and an afternoon of family togetherness. I got some lovely birthday gifts but the one that stands out is a size 8 skirt. That's right! EIGHT! I haven't been in single-digit sized clothing since 1995. Holy shitballs. I hope you have enjoyed my weekend run down. I'm sure you were all dying to know the aforementioned. I would've liked to have posted earlier but I started a new job today and it would just be too bold of me to dive right in to blogging during office hours. My dad's my boss and it's weird... Do I call him Dad at work? Is it okay that he calls me Babe? LOL. Either way, this is going to be interestin'...

Mother's Day Pics

The Elders & Me and My Brother Curtis
The Mommy-to-Be and Grandpoodle
My Gorgeous New Dress

Friday, May 12, 2006

29, bitches.

Yup, today's my big day. The feast day of Randi, if you will. Birthdays was the worst days now we drink champagne when we firstay, to quote Biggie Smalls. More on my day as it progresses I imagine. Not much to type at 6:15... damn you, insomnia. Like a kid on Christmas morning I tell you.
Big ups to my girls Itchy, April and Fyrchk for already handing out some serious birthday wishes. I always knew my blog buddies were dope but they so knocked my socks off this morning. Wow. I really love it when peeps make a big deal about my birthday even though it truly deserves none of the attention I demand for it.
TGIF, Kidlets!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Dodger HNT

Oh how I love my jersey and the player it stands for. True Blue, baby!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


After the struggle to get this bitch to log on to post, what I have to say hardly seems worth the trouble. All I was going to tell you is that I gained another point-2 this week. I have a feeling I'm not exactly trying hard enough on the Weight Watcher program but I feel like it should at least balance out seeing as I went to the gym 5 times last week. Then again, maybe that's just wishful thinking. I know this week will be a bust because of it being my birthday (3 more days, bitches!) and my last day at the Citay and there will be a lot of margarita drinking this weekend in celebration of both. I'm no dummy, I'm aware of my weaknesses.
Monday starts a new job and hopefully a newfound desire to diet and be a little more fanatical about the gym-going. A regular 8-hour day is sure going to do wonders for my motivation to exercise, I can tell you that right now. It's going to be all about low-point breakfasts, Lean Cuisine lunches and wee dinners for me. After all, the wedding is only about two months away and I'm not showing up there with back fat rolls. Ya heard?
And going with the theme of me terminating my employment here at the Citay, I'd like to re-name the little ditty below (thanks, Crusty!) as the Co-Worker Prayer:

Monday, May 08, 2006

Final Countdown

Only 5 days left 'til the end of my employment here at the Citay (and my berfday) so in honor I share this with you:

Don't forget to mark your calendars!!!

Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious,when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner***, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your"assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
* If questioned by a supervisor or police, (if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a GREAT DAY!
***Why Ike Turner? By throwin' this here forward on my blog, in no way does that mean I endorse domestic abuse. Got that? Don't make me smack you.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

A Good Day

This morning I forsook the gym and decided to take a walk in the 'hood instead. Armed with my MP3 player and a bottle of water, I took off on a 3-mile, round-trip jaunt that brought me many unexpected surprises. We have a nice little paved trail around the neighborhood and you're pretty much going to see at least one person running or walking there at any given time. Lots of doggies. Today a black Labrador was rustling through the ground cover, his tail going full speed. When I approached I saw that he had drug a dead duck out of the leaves and proudly left his bloody discovery splayed out on the concrete path. Lovely. Just a few steps past that lovely scene I saw a Donald & Daisy duo of ducks swimming in a little puddle and I thought to myself, thank goodness for the circle of life. A little further down the road and I spied a lady bug on the stem of a day lily that just recently started to bloom. My final brush with nature on my trek? A red-breasted robin. Now, I'm making it seem like I'm Snow White over here frolicking through the forest but I'm in a pretty suburban area... What this made me realize, however, is that aside from the fresh air, whenever I'm in the gym I'm also missing a little bit of Mother Nature. She and I really need to get reacquainted.
Today I also got the pleasure of celebrating my first actual live game of the baseball season. It's an annual tradition for my birthday that my parents and I go with a guest. This year, my brother was able to surgically remove himself from his girlfriend's uterus to join us and it was just like the old days when our tiny family of 4 would do everything together... something that came to an end around the time I turned 19. It was quite nice really. Also nice? My dad telling me I could pick out an authentic Dodger jersey for my birthday. Natch, I chose my favorite player, number 38, Eric Gagne. Ohmygod Ilovehim and I love my jersey even more. May he quickly recover and get back on the field to the tune of Welcome to the Jungle sooner than later. The Dodgers proceeded to take the Milwaukee Brewers to a 10 to 2 slaughterhouse. We were also treated to a total 5 home runs between the teams. Niiiiiiiice. There is nothing better than Chavez Ravine. Nothing I say. No where else can the national anthem move me to tears better than prior to a baseball game at Dodger Stadium. Nirvana? I found you and you are within driving distance.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Saturday Night Special

My hetero life partner, Oly and I went to see Stick It this evening. And yes, I totally stole the line "hetero life partner" from the movie itself. An honorable mention for memorable lines goes to "Stalk you" as a boy's response to a girl telling him to call her. Aside from the impressive gymnastic performances featured in this film, there is little else to tell. A rebellious and trouble-making tomboy of a young woman who once walked out of world finals as a result of family turbulence is thrown back into gymnastic training as an alternative to keep her out of juvenile hall. It's the age old tale of the black sheep that ends up the hero in the end. The beginning half has a little too much conversation and not enough action but once the warm-ups and routines get on the scene the movie somewhat redeems itself. Mind you, if I was a teenager, I would eat this shit up with a spoon, especially the often-juvenile banter amongst the cast. The girls have zero-percent body fat and very much inspired me to want to be 18 and nubile once again though my clumsy ass would have never been caught dead on a pair of uneven bars. I was expecting a little more because I thought Stick It was going to be very much in the fashion of another favorite of mine, Bring It On. Perhaps being on the cusp of my 29th year I am expecting too much from a teen flick but Stick It lacked a certain je ne sais qui (which actually translates to "I don't know who" as opposed to the "I don't know what" I thought it did) that BIO had no problem bringing. Maybe it was the cast of unknowns save for the randomly cast Jeff Bridges that left me longing for more. Or is it the fact that I paid $9 to watch an hour and a half of fluff? Either way, I'd save this bad boy for a rental. And on a more disturbing note, a man more than likely my age and alone was watching this bad boy in the front row. Alone. Ya heard me. Oh and the soundtrack was REALLY good. I'd put it on my amazon wish list but I'm wondering if it will ever be seen by anyone but me since there is some weird occurence where only I can access it via my subtle link... K, Itchy and Fyrchk, see if that works! Haha.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Last Free Friday

The 9/80 schedule that I've held for a year and five months is coming to a screeching halt and today is my last alternate Friday off. I should be getting ready to head to the gym right now but instead I'm lounging in my jamamas, sippin' some coffee and typing to you people. Feel special. I know I would. Yesterday my co-workers took me for my farewell lunch at my favorite sushi spot and surprised me with a gift basket of body wash, lotion, a candle, a non-alcoholic sparkling cider (where's my Hornsby's, bitches!?!) and a $50 gift certificate to get my hair did. Isn't that nice!?! It was days like yesterday that make me realize how much I will miss the peeps I've worked with. True, there is no love lost between me and T-bone, the bitch that drove me to resignation but on the whole everyone has been amazing as far as co-worker relationships go. And T-bone? Well not only is she not speaking to me but she didn't even have the courtesy to join the rest of our office for lunch. I pity the petty. What a waste of time.
So other than my birthday being exactly one week from today I can't say there's much to tell. The sushi people really wouldn't understand that yesterday was my going away party and not my birthday party so they came out with a little orange mouse and sang to me. It was the weakest rendition of the Happy Birthday Song I've ever laid ears upon but what can you do? I just smiled and nodded and tried to tap my birthday for all it's worth. And for those of you counting, the word "birthday" was typed 5 times in that paragraph. And here's my amazon wish list. Ha! I will add to it a lot. In case you were wondering. Or seriously contemplating gifting me. LOL

(While I may have featured this photo before and it is not my actual orange mouse, it is an exact replica of the one I received yesterday at my faux-birthday party at the sushi restaurant.)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I Hate My Blog

Man, isn't it ridiculous when you actually have to work at your place of business? And study for tests? It may seem that I've completely forsaken the good time that is HNT but the truth of the matter is I simply haven't had the time or the patience to mold my body into an acceptable photograph. Perhaps in a couple of weeks when I'm on summer break. Then again, I'm not making any promises. You have to accept me for who I am.
I had all kinds of clever things I wanted to say yesterday about Tuesday's American Idol but I never got a chance to jot down my thoughts. Suffice it to say I did know that Paris was gonna get the boot. Mind you, after the fact, this doesn't hold any clout does it? I may very well hold the title of "liarmouth." Perhaps I thought Katherine would get the boot? I guess you'll never know. And that, my friend, is the power I hold.
As I may have mentioned before, I no longer have a thumb nail. What has replaced it is something that (my friend Oly said) resembles a "troll penis." According to my doctor, the nail experienced "trauma" so it's reincarnation is a lovely shade of green and only goes about half-way up my nail bed. And it's like a little lump more than a flat surface. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I don't like it to be seen by the public and I'm here to sing the praises of the 3-M Tattoo bandage. So far I've gone through the Winnie-the-Pooh collection and am now on to Disney Princesses. They are totally waterproof and the material almost feels like skin it's so thin. Plus they hide hideous disfigurements so I'm all set. It's all very Quazimodo no? Hiding in the bell tower? If CSUCI had required an essay on why I would make a good candidate for their school, it would have been about overcoming my disability of not having a thumb nail on my left hand.
Speaking of which, I totally got an acceptance letter in the mail for that very school last night! No essay required! All I need to do is pass my math class and it's a sure thing. Just like your mom. Wait, what? Didn't mean for it to get ugly there. As for the math test I took last night, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Only one problem truly stumped me so if I get my third A in a row be prepared for it to be stinky up in here because I'll prolly poop myself.
K, that's enough of all that. Have a fantastic Thursday. I know I will.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


I keep buoying between 164 and 165 on the Weight Watcher program so I don't have much to report today. It's been this way for a whole month so I'm wondering if now that I'm at the near acceptable high-point of the BMI scale if I'm just going to have to exercise like a sonofabitch to get down to my ideal goal weight of 155. These are points I ponder. I have to admit, those hoodia advertisements are looking pretty good right about now.
Worked out with my trainer Perry last night. Every time he and I get together I end up at the precipice of vomiting. That's got to be good right? Add that to the fact that by the time I leave even my shins are dripping sweat and I believe we have a recipe for success. They conspired to get me to sign up for 10 more sessions for the low, low price of $200 and like a sucker I fell for it. I'm now set up for sessions through the end of June. The wedding (which kicked off this weight loss program) is on July 22nd. If I'm not "fit" by then, I quit.
Other than that I have very little to report. There is still no sunshine so my mood is solemn at best. I leave it up to you to put a smile on my face. This is your mission should you choose to accept it. This post will self-detonate in T minus 5 seconds. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Kablooey.

Monday, May 01, 2006

3 Damn Days

I haven't seen the sun in about that long and because I'm so sensitive to icky weather and gray skies I must confess I've been a little depressed. Lots of naps the last couple of days. And maybe a brownie or 3. Mmmm. Brownies.
Not too much of interest happened over the weekend but I did get to go and see my new school! You can too if you'd like, just click here. A little known fact about my soon-to-be campus is that it was formerly Camarillo State Mental Hospital. Rumor has it, Hotel California by the Eagles is about that very site. Nothing like a good urban legend. When we were kids we called the hospital "The Scary Dairy." I never went out there because I'm chicken shit but we always talked about doing so. CSU Channel Islands is nestled deep back in the hills of Camarillo surrounded by farm land. It's a gorgeous campus, very peaceful, and I think I have a week or so until I find out if I'm accepted. More than likely it will be dependent upon my passing the Math class I'm enrolled in. I'll keep you posted.
Other than that, it's May Day. Allegedly the immigrants won't be at work today and I'll be interested to see how it impacts our little farming community and Southern California as a whole. If they need my support I'll gladly walk out with them. Also of interest, only 11 more days until my birthday.