It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

V for Vendetta

Stayed up 'til 1 AM to see this piece of garbage. Was it worth it? No sirree, Bob, it wasn't. Can I understand why Natalie Portman shaved her head for a role of this caliber? Negative. Was her British accent more than a little aggravating to sit through? That would be a yes. Little Miss Portman just isn't as talented as she seems to think she is. For the most part, comic book films are socially relevant but not too preachy. This one, however, was high on the pulpit on everything from Big Brother to Nazi-style biological warfare to homosexuality. And the worst thing about it all was that there was hardly any choreographed fight scenes. V, the masked lead character, is supposed to be a renaissance man/killing machine and his wicked knife wielding skills impressed me far more than his literary references. But if you want to see the really cool shit you should just wait until the last half hour of the film. Save the other hour and a half for sleeping like my date did. I do have to admit the explosion scenes were pretty fresh.
And the story line was interesting. It was relevant to the climate of today's society and the world. The acting was top notch save for Natalie Portman. Hell, maybe this movie was just too smart for me. Political commentary has never been my bag so who am I to judge? All I know is that there was a little too much conversation and not enough action for a comic book movie. I'm thinking Batman. Spiderman. Now that's right up my alley.

Whitey Tighty HNT

Actually had a second to pull it together for this HNT. Literally A second. Hence the sweater and the cord messin' up the scenery. Tacky much? Missed y'all last week!
Happy Half-Nekked Thursday!!!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sucked In

Last night I watched my very first episode of the cult show that is American Idol. That may not be technically true as I did watch the very first season's elimination process but this is the first time I've actually watched the competition aspect of the program. I can honestly say I can see how people get hooked. BUT (and I'm not breaking any new ground here):
  • Paula Abdul really did come across as a bit of a drug addict. And if not that, she's definitely a candidate for some seizure testing.
  • Simon Cowell really spoke to me. After reading an article about him in Rolling Stone it's clear that he is sincere in being a dick. It's not an act.
  • Randy Jackson is a bit too old for the "dawg" and "keepin' it real" talk.
  • Ryan Seacrest may be the new Casey Kasem/Dick Clark but to me he's just another glam douche bag.

As for the contestants, well let's just say no one knocked my socks off but that fine bald man Chris. Rar. Not only is he a total hottie but he's got pipes and and awesome stage presence. If I was a church goin' gal and Mandisa was in our choir, I'd go to mass every Sunday. Wow, she really could be the next Aretha Franklin. Seems like the rest of 'em were a whole lot of slack-jawed yokels and 2-bit karaoke stars. And there's nothing ok with a 16-year old shakin' dat ass like Beyonce. I simply can't endorse that sort of behavior in our youth. Though it did make me want to learn how to do that with the junk in my trunk if ya namsayin' and I think you do.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Big News!

Today's Weight: 167.6 lbs.
Weight Lost From Last Tuesday: 2.2 lbs.
Total Weight Lost (16 Wks.): 10 lbs.

That's right! I've lost TEN POUNDS! According to Weight Watchers I have 7 more to go to reach my 10% goal. All I can say is on Friday night I fit into my size 10, skinny fit Calvin Kleins for the first time in ages. Yup. So that's all the news I have.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I Fall To Pieces

***WARNING: Sick Shit To Follow***
I'm literally falling apart. On Saturday I started feeling a little under the weather so I looked in the mirror to say "Aaaah" and what do I see in my tonsils but little pockets of GRAY pus. Jesus Christ. I've always had this problem so you'd think I'd be used to it but I can't help but wonder why the doctor won't just remove my tonsils if they keep getting infected. They say it's too painful as an adult but is it not just as painful to have tonsillitis and strep every time you turn around? I spent all day in my pajamas yesterday watching TV and napping. What a Sunday.
Then today I'm sitting here typing on the computer when I hear a weird crispy sound. I look down at my badly damaged thumb nail and see that it is starting to lift. Because there's a scab under my fingernail, you know. That's what happens when you ram your hair dryer into your nail at warp speed because you are too retarded and clumsy to just take it easy and slowly put on the diffuser. Yuck. So it is currently holding on for dear life thanks to a Band Aid. Has anyone lost a nail before? What happens? I'm so disgusted it's making me dry heave just to think about it. Needless to say I will be going to the doctor's at some point today.
***OK: Sick Shit Over***
BFF and I were discussing Sopranos not so long ago and she totally predicted that it would go no further than 3 episodes until Tony woke up. Hallelujah. I actually wept when he heard Meadow's voice in the trees. I'm such a sap. Ha! Get it? Trees? Sap? No? I'm apparently the only one that likes the coma sequence of Tony's alternate life. Symbolism speaks to me I guess. Carmela's emotional outbursts warrant an Emmy more than any other acting I've seen on any other program. Hands down. That's all I'm going to say about this because my blog ain't no water cooler. Don't work too hard.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Inside Man

Took in this movie on Saturday night. Mostly I wanted to see it because Denzel Washington and Clive Owen are delicious eye candy but walked away from the film quite pleased. I'm not Jodie Foster's biggest fan thanks in part to her terrible accent in Silence of the Lambs but she really wowed me in the role she played. She was unlike I've ever seen her and I believe at one point in the movie the mayor called her a "magnificent cunt." There aren't two better ways to describe her. She's a force to be reckoned with, has amazing calves and a beautiful wardrobe.
But enough of the cast. I don't even think I blinked the entire time I was watching the screen. This isn't your ordinary cops and robbers kind of movie. You're required to pay close attention to the intricate details of this out-of-the-ordinary heist with Owen's thief character outsmarting Denzel's hostage negotiator at every turn. By the end, I actually had a few "Aha!" moments similar to what I experienced when I watched The Usual Suspects. This is a very smart film and not over-the-top suspenseful but enough so to keep you guessing. Add to that a couple doses of good humor and you've got yourself quite a movie. Plus it's set in New York so what's not to love?

Friday, March 24, 2006


What a day this has been! Thanks to BFF's reminder haiku as well as my mother reading my horoscope about handling my business this morning, I actually completed my application to attend Cal State Channel Island in the fall. Not only that, but I even finished my financial aid application. Bachelor degree here I come.
I also got my state and federal tax returns today in the whopping amount of $900 so I decided to do a little shopping. I had a picture that I needed to get framed and lucky for me Prints Plus is going out of business so I was able to get that done for a mere $20. Unheard of. On the way out of the mall I also picked up an upgraded cellphone, the Motorola RAZR V3. It's a sleek, black bitch and I love it! Perfect accessory for my car. And of course I had to be cool and download a fresh jam for my ringtone and decided on Temperature by Sean Paul because it's got a beat I can dance to. What this means is that I will more than likely not answer on the first ring if you call because I'll be too busy shakin' dat ass.
Other than that, same shit, different day. TGIF.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


That's right, Internet (to be said like Bernie Mac when he addresses America on his sitcom) there is no HNT today. I was actually busy. You know... with life and all. I hope to make it up to you next week though because I know how much my body means to you. Moving on.

I'd like to give a bit of a shout out to me this morning for getting a 95% on my 2nd math test of the semester. Not too shabby. It seems a bit anticlimactic after last test's 100% but I'll take it. An A is an A no matter which way you slice it.

Watched Sideways again last night and I can say I appreciated it more on the second viewing than I did when I saw it in the theaters. I found the story to be very depressing whereas a lot of folks found the sad states of the cast to be hilarious. Paul Giamatti's character is such a mess I have to wonder why Virginia Madsen's character would even give him the time of day. He's so self-deprecating and miserable and she's such a ray of sunshine. I just don't get it.

I may have mentioned I'm dog sitting this week. It's over tomorrow but my other neighbor wants me to watch her dog this weekend. I should make a flier. I don't like the actual process of dog sitting any more than I did babysitting but for some reason I do both all the time. Go figure. I guess it's just another way to remind myself I don't want the responsibility of dog or child. Slackerdom at its finest.

Let's hope I can get back in the swing of things blog-wise or I'm sure I'm going to lose you guys. Bear with me. Bare with me? I can never remember...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

More Useless Shit

Click Here For A Good Time ... or just to get information on the following:

You said your birthday is 5 / 12 / 1977 which means you are 28 years old and about:
60 years 6 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89
55 years 10 months younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84
52 years 11 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81
45 years 8 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74
43 years 6 months younger than Larry King, age 72
37 years 3 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 66
33 years 10 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 62
30 years 10 months younger than George W. Bush, age 59
25 years 10 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54
21 years 6 months younger than Bill Gates, age 50
16 years 9 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45
10 years 10 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 39
6 years 10 months younger than Jennifer Lopez, age 35
1 year 4 months younger than Tiger Woods, age 30
5 years 1 month older than Prince William, age 23

and that you were:
24 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
22 years old on the first day of Y2K
20 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
17 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
17 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
15 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
13 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
12 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
8 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
6 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
6 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
3 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
2 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began

Hump Day

Only without the hump. Oh well. I can't say that this is my finest hour. I'm feeling a bit under the weather so I thought I would leave you with a link to my new favorite band of the moment: Fall Out Boy. Since purchasing this CD over 2 weeks ago it has seldom been outside of one of my three CD players (car, bathroom, bedroom). I don't know what it is about these kids but they've got a catchy beat I can sing to. They're boy band punk but better. Seeing as the only radio station I listen to plays songs mainly heard in the 80s and 90s it's rare that I get exposed to new music but thanks to VH1's neon online radio that is on constantly at my desk, every now and then one slips through the cracks. Yah... this is more than likely my weakest post ever. Sucks.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


And in this corner, Randi, weighing in at an additional .4 lbs. The point-anything is completely annoying but ain't it a pity that the scale went up? Oh well, they can't all be winners. At least I'm still under 170 and considering the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed on St. Patrick's day I guess this was to be expected. Not that I partied like a rock star, mind you. The drinking started at 5 after 5 and ended at 8. I was drunk but none too pleased to be in bed before 10 o'clock on a Friday, a St. Pizzle's Friday no less, I can tell you that much. But I musn't dwell on unpleasantries. Mostly I'm just stoked that I didn't gain a whole pound after guzzling a minimum of 60 oz. of Black & Tans and Fat Tire and 4 Buttery Nipples.
That can probably be chalked up to Perry, the trainer from hell, who made me work out so hard on Sunday that there were actually beads of sweat on my fingers. He commended me on a job well done and said it would all be worth it eventually. Eventually? When would that be? When I leave the gym and have a heart attack in the parking lot? At least I will be a pound lighter for my pall bearers. That's awfully thoughtful of me.
And in the spirit of randomness that is this post, I'm house/dog sitting this week for an officer and he has the most delicious hot tub. Last night while the rain was pouring and the wind was blowing, I was getting my troubles lifted away by the jet stream bubbles. What a glorious feeling to have icy rain droplets falling on your face while your entire body is submerged in steamy, hot water.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Tagged by BFF

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 24 and find line 5.
Thank You For Smoking - Christopher Buckley " The Mod Squad in ways resembled the gatherings of Hollywood comedy writers who met over coffee to bounce new jokes off one another."
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
My Weight Watcher books.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
A Will & Grace rerun on my lunch break.
4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The paper rustle.
5. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
12:50, coming back to work from my lunch break.
6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Cod's blog and myspace cuz I'm hooked like a crack addict.
7. What are you wearing?
A pink sweater set, a black skirt w/ pink polka dots and my CFM shoes.
8. Did you dream last night?
Not that I can recall. I was too on edge housesitting.
9. When did you last laugh?
Reading an email where my friend said he was going to make like a baby and head out.
10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Lots of files.
11. Seen anything weird lately?
I saw some crazy shit on Autopsy On Demand yesterday. That show's incredible!
12. What do you think of this quiz?
Oh, memes. I can never grow weary of you.
13. What is the last film you saw?
Thank You For Smoking (See Below)
14. If you turned a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A house with two dogs in the yard.
15. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
Well folks, you've read most of it here.... I guess I'll tell you I can put my ankle behind my head.
16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Asassinate Paris Hilton.
17. Do you like to Dance?
If I'm drunk enough.
18. George Bush.
Needs to quit his day job.
19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I'll steal Crusty's name for this one: Losher. Nah, just jokes, baby. I've already picked Stella Christin. No, not Christine.
20. Imagine your boyfriend is making sweet love to his Xbox 360, what would you do?
Ask if I could get in on some menage trois action.
21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
If the right peeps were my neighbor.
22. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
How's the weather up here?
23. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Uh... go ahead and do it if you want to but I ain't gonna hold you to it.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

A Night At The Movies

Saturday night I took a quick trip down to Hollywood to see Thank You For Smoking at the ArcLight theater. This is no ordinary theater as tickets are a whopping $14 a pop and there is assigned seating. Some theaters are even 21 and over and allow you to bring booze into the movie. It was quite a treat for quite a film. A satire based on the 1994 book, it focuses on Nick Naylor, a tobacco lobbyist, and his highs and lows. Apparently it differs from the book because the movie character eventually gets morals. The humor in this movie is very smart and very quick. The performances were also spectacular and if you can leave that movie without falling in love with Aaron Eckhart then you are a stronger man than I. Katie Holmes plays a successful reporter who seduces Nick to get a story and bring him down but I found her less than convincing. I blame Tom Cruise. Rob Lowe was perfectly cast as a sleazy Hollywood type and his assistant steals the show. For some reason, this movie is in very limited release right now so keep your eyes open for it. Why they hide amazing films like this but mass-market bullshit like The Hills Have Eyes is seriously beyond me.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Paddie's Day!

"Here's to a long life, and a merry one; a quick death, and an easy one; a pretty girl, and an honest one; a cold beer - and another one!" That quote was on Os's sight and I think it's my favorite sentiment of the day. Hope yours is a drunken, debaucherous one. Don't forget to pinch those silly peeps that didn't wear green today. And do your best to check out some Flogging Molly at some point, preferably while drinking a Black & Tan made of Guinness and Harp Lager or throwing back a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream.

This was the closest pic in my archives I had to a shamrock.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Book Review

Just this morning I enjoyed a quick and easy (like your mom) read, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Literally finished it in less than 2 hours. You will find this book in the Self-Help section of your local retailer but I got mine as a gift from that one lady I had to have a "session" with to deal with some of my "issues" that one day here in the work place. Anyway, I went into it with zero expectations and walked away fairly enlightened. Ruiz isn't breaking too much new ground with his Toltec wisdom but sometimes it's nice to have someone oversimplify life for you just to get you back in check. And since some of you (if by some I mean most) probably won't read this particular book, I'll give you aforementioned agreements as listed on the liner:

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Northing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Like I said, pretty simple. Basically it's just kind of letting go of nonsense and just taking responsibility for your life with some spirituality thrown in there just for spice. I guess this book is pretty big in business right now because my boss has it on his desk, too. So if you're in a jam life-wise, you may just want to camp out in your neighborhood Barnes & Noble and read this whilst sipping on a latte. That's what I'd do anyway.

Word Of The Day

So the other day I used the fictional word "craptastic" in my post because a friend of mine says it all the time and I find it ridiculous and hilarious. Today I open my e-mail and the word of the day is:

crapulous \KRAP-yuh-lus\, adjective: Etymology: Late Latin crapulosus, from Latin crapula intoxication from Greek kraipalE 1 : marked by intemperance especially in eating or drinking 2 : sick from excessive indulgence in liquor

Considering tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and the only plan I have is to be reprehensibly drunk I thought this was a very apropos WOD.

Tame HNT

I chose to take a picture of my hand this week because I rarely have painted nails and thought what the heck. My manicurist did an excellent job of camouflaging my atrociously bruised and dead, purple thumbnail. She actually commented on how it didn't even need to be painted to match the others. Yuck. My favorite part? The polish's name: Wine Not Party. Oh, OPI. So clever. Happy HNT, lords and ladies of the manor. Have a good one.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

It's Been Settled

The trial I was "trying out for" is no more. I found this little tidbit in the paper and thought I'd share it with you all. Don't thank me, it's what I do.

Ojai Valley School on Tuesday settled a lawsuit by a former student who accused it of allowing a teacher to sexually assault her 25 years ago.
The woman sued the private boarding school in late 2003 under a state law that suspended the statute of limitations for suits against institutions accused of allowing child sexual abuse. Hundreds of people sued the Catholic Church under the law, which expired at the end of 2003.
The woman was seeking more than $5 million in damages. She said her experience left her bulimic, depressed, suicidal, promiscuous, unable to trust people and unable to hold a job.
The school and former student agreed Friday to a settlement, and it was filed Tuesday in Ventura County Superior Court, said her Los Angeles-based attorney, Lon Isaacson.
The settlement — including the amount of damages — is confidential, and lawyers for both parties refused to disclose any of its provisions. According to the Superior Court Web site, both sides will pay their own legal fees.
"Both parties are mutually satisfied with the settlement," Isaacson said. "This is the result of an arduous process over the past two years."
Ojai Valley School's lawyer, John Barber of Los Angeles, confirmed in an e-mail that the suit had been settled but would not comment on the agreement. Two weeks of juror selection had just concluded and the jury was ready to hear opening arguments when the settlement was reached.
The former student, now 40 and living in Los Angeles, claimed that when she was 15, a 22-year-old teacher at the school pursued a sexual relationship with her and forced her to perform oral sex. Administrators at the school — including Michael Hermes, who is still the president and CEO, and Carl Cooper, now a headmaster — either knew or should have known that she was being abused, her lawsuit claimed.
School administrators said the woman's accusations were false. The teacher, who was at the school for only one year, was never arrested or charged with a crime.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Not so long ago I vowed to myself that I would accept any invitation thrown my way even if it doesn't seem like anything up my alley. Take for instance, willingly accepting an invitation to see The Hills Have Eyes. The horror genre has never been a favorite of mine but thanks to an overzealous ex I have a lot of history with them. He used to rent at least one every weekend we spent together over the span of five years. We were a Blockbuster couple, what can I say? Anyway, I am a very jumpy individual who tends to get overly involved in the viewing experience so scary movies generally have me jumping out of my seat and occasionally emitting screams and yelps of panic and general terror.
But back to the craptastic hour and a half waste of my life. Let me set the scene for those of you who don't know what this piece of garbage is about. A family (mom, dad, son, teen daughter, married daughter, her husband and their baby) go on a road trip and end up stranded in the desert where mutants, a result of exposure to nuclear testing, live in the hills. It's not enough that these folks are hideously disfigured, they are also violent cannibals. They proceed to burn dad alive, shoot mom, rape the teen daughter, and suckle the breast of the lactating new mother/daughter. I don't know when rape and breastfeeding came to count as horror but mostly it just left me feeling disgusted and worried for the youth of today. I grew up terrified of Freddy Krueger, not the ideas of sexual violence and molestation.
The story is crap and the make-up and special effects leave much to be desired. It's hard to get the feeling of fear and hatred from mutants who, as Entertainment Weekly summed up nicely, are victims themselves. Basically, this movie is no good. Had it not been free I would have been outraged enough to stand up, walk out and demand my money back. If you go, I will be mad at you.

Not-So-Fat Tuesday

Week 14 of Weight Watchers
Starting Weight on 11/29/05: 177.6 lbs.
Today's Weigh-in: 169.4 lbs.
Weight lost since 3/7/06: 3.2 lbs.
Total weight lost: 8.2 lbs.

Y'all I'm pumped. I've been religiously exercising and closely following points and I'm happier than a pig in shit that I'm finally under one seventy-anything for the first time in the longest time. I'd just like to take a second to give a shout-out to all of you for your support. This blog was never meant to be "It's all about the fat..." but sometimes it feels that way and every time you comment on my progress or offer words of encouragement it gives me the burst of energy I need to continue. So, many props to all of us at this very happy time.

Monday, March 13, 2006


For those of you that have driven down the Sunset Strip, there's a very good chance you've seen a buxom blonde on a billboard who goes by the name Angelyne. She's one of those L.A. icons, like the Hollywood Sign or the Griffith Observatory, that symbolizes the glamour of it all. I just thought I would take a second to brag that on March 8th I saw her pulling her pink Corvette out of a parking space that was reserved for 20-minute take out at least an hour after I got to the Pacific View Mall in Ventura. I saw her once on the 101 freeway driving through Agoura Hills on my way back to L.A. and it was like an Elvis sighting. Only, no one really knows who she is or what she does or why she's famous. And I don't know why my Angelyne sighting warrants mentioning here but it's my blog and I can do whatever I want to do with it. Her story is mildly entertaining should you choose to click the link above or maybe this one here. Then maybe this post will be justified.

Weekend Breakdown

Friday night was hot-tubbin' and card playin' for me. Very chill. I deserved a few cold beers. On Weight Watchers you can have twice the light beer for the price of a regular. Too bad Amstel Light has to be accompanied by headaches, bloating and intestinal distress. No good. Pass me a Sam instead any time.

Saw my first shoot-out in a hockey game on TV Saturday. Kings won so I was stoked. Gives me ants in my pants for Thursday night's game that I will be attending. Also went to the trainer prior and realize now he's on a war path to my destruction. Damn you, Perry. You make it hurt so good. I actually made my goal and went to the gym 4 times last week and each time was a sweat-soaked one. I'm going to be so buff soon it's going to frighten my loved ones.

Went to brunch in L.A. and to a Jewish baby-naming ceremony yesterday. Just can't eat like I used to but I tried anyway: hot chocolate, 2 eggs, 4 thick slices of bacon, 2 buttermilk biscuits and homefry potatoes. Followed shortly thereafter by 10 minutes in the bathroom. It's no good. Because I knew I would be going out of town and binge-eating, I figured I'd be good and set my alarm clock so I could be at the gym by 7 a.m. to get the workout out of the way. And so help me I made my best effort. It was an alarming 34 degrees in Sunny southern California but I toughed it out in my gym shorts and tee. Got all the way to the gym only to see it opened at 8 a.m. on the weekend. Sabotage. Ended up having to go in the afternoon. C'est la vie.

Last night I watched the Sopranos and actually cried out, "NO, UNCLE JUN!" when he lost his damn mind (literally) and shot the love of my life. Didn't see it? Tough. You're the only one on the planet that didn't. So good it made my mouth water. And because it was on HBO East I got to watch it at 6 o'clock my time meaning I didn't have to miss my beloved Family Guy. Niiiiice.

Tuned in to the polygamy show afterwards, Big Love I believe it's called. The only thing that comes to my mind when I see Bill Paxton is Chet from Weird Science. Nice little look into the cult-life and compounds. It's worth another view in my humble opinion. It's also good to see Chloe Sevigny in something other than the vomit-inducing Kids or some terribly individualistic haute couture fashion. Fugly wear.

This morning on the way to work I saw a young high-schooler wearing actual overalls. That's a blast from the past. Let's hope it's not a trend that's destined to be revived. I don't know if I could pull it off as easily now as I could 8 years ago. Yikes.

And that's all she wrote.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Nailed It

I may have mentioned before that I firmly believe MSN is tracking my emails because their horoscopes are so dead on. It would get very boring but if I posted them every day I think I would confirm a mildly disturbing trend. Here's today's:

Taurus April 19 - May 19
This kind of strange day doesn't come around very often, dear Taurus. You no longer seem to know what you want. Do you want to work or take time off? Do you want to redecorate your house or live in a shack by the beach? It's hard to communicate with people, because you feel that trying to explain your point of view is pointless, especially when you don't know what it is yourself. The best thing to do may be to unplug yourself from your usual activities and go for a walk. This confusion shall pass, dear Taurus.

As far as the job front is concerned there is definitely a debate going on. I know that the Citay just isn't for me but I haven't become an adult yet and decided what it is exactly I want to do with my life. My dad is a business owner and keeps telling me they want to work me into the company but even that is something I'm not sure about. The Police department has become a little bit more of a dream than a reality for the reason that just because I am interested in something and enjoy it on TV doesn't necessarily mean I want to do it for a living.
On the home front, well that's just a mess in and of itself. I live with my parents and seeing as I am in my late 20s I just think I'm too old for this shit. For the most part I get along great with my parents but there come the times when they seem to look at me like I'm a little girl still. I'd like to live on my own but the cost of living in Ventura County is so high that on my wages I couldn't afford to do it alone and the idea of a roommate leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
And relationships? Well let's just say that my romantic prospects are questionable at best and at least one of my friendships is in a bit of a tailspin that I'm hoping can right itself before there's disaster. I'm going to chalk all of this up to that time of the month and gray skies but wow. Wouldn't it be nice to be carefree? To be able to spin around in circles 'til you grew dizzy and giggled on the floor until you catch your breath?
But things aren't awful. Far from it. School's great. And there are many blessings in my life I don't count often enough on this blog. I've got the pad to myself this weekend so mostly I just want to take a time-out and gather my thoughts. Exercise, do some homework and catch up with old friends. Get back in the zone, if you will.

Hello, Lurkers

It's Haiku Friday
Invention of BFF
So today I'll play
Do me a favor
Leave a comment for me here
How you found my blog
Stealing ideas
Trying to be creative
Play along with me
Good weekend to every one
See you on Monday

Thursday, March 09, 2006


Man, oh man, do I keep having second thoughts about the post below. I've been wanting to do a "before" spread for a while now but didn't have the balls. Those pictures were taken without a photographer's eye, so to speak. I simply put the camera down and stood normally in front of a timer shot one day before I headed out to the gym (hence my gorgeous wardrobe). I didn't hold my shoulders back like I do in real life. I didn't tilt my head down to smile so my double chin would be hidden. I didn't suck in my gut. I just stood there. I wanted to just see what my body looked like if I didn't try. In real life, I take great pride in my appearance by wearing flattering clothing and I have fantastic posture. In some ways I guess I threw up my shlubby pictures so people could say, "Hey, it's not as bad as you think it is." Now, 10 comments later and a little mist to my eyes, no one even needed to say that word for word. Because as corny as it sounds, it really is what's "inside" that matters... but that's still no excuse to let yourself go.

HNT #20

Ladies and gentleman, I welcome you to what may very well be my last HNT. Quite frankly my creativity seems to hit a brick wall and there are only so many shots of my boobies the world needs to see. So I thought I would introduce you to the "Real Randi" who is full of insecurities and is not at all as glamorous and confident as she pretends to be. I took some "before" shots when I started my second round of Weight Watchers and my sessions with the trainer. I guess now I'm sharing them with you because I feel like a fraud with some of the shots I throw on this blog o'mine. The compliments are like a zillion tiny kisses but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve them. I have a body I despise. A body I talk about a lot here. About dieting, exercise and acceptance. But really, it's this body that makes me wonder if I'll ever have another boyfriend. It makes me cringe to think of what he'll say when I take my clothes off for the first time. This body makes me loathe turning 29 because eventually, if I don't nip this problem in the bud, I won't be able to bounce back as "easily" further down the road. So here I am. The real me. Love it or leave it. And for the record, this is no pity party and it took me some fucking nerves of steel to throw this up so save your shit talking if you thought about it. Sunshine.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

No More Jurty Durty

"Juror Number Eight, you are dismissed" thus ending the longest and final day of my civic duty for a while to come. So I guess now I can talk about the case I was pretty desperate to be on. A woman, currently 40 years old, wanted to sue her former private school because a teacher molested her when she was 15 years old. Mind you, said molester was not on trial, but the school itself. Twenty-five years later. I understand there is no statute of limitations when it comes to crimes of that nature but at the same time I guess I was intrigued to get the details as to why she would seek monetary damages from her school at this stage in the game. I'm sure I was ruled out as a potential juror because after questioning they found out that I have 12 years of first-hand experience with the private school system and have a friend that was molested when we were kids. That and I'm just so darned pretty I'm sure they didn't want me to be a distraction in the courtroom! Ha! The judge reminded me of Bob Newhart and the lawyer for the defense sounded exactly like Jeremy Piven (a.k.a. Ari from Entourage) . Other than that, what can I say? This was a complete and total waste of time yet it permitted me to read many pages of The Tender Bar. I have no complaints other than the fact that I will not be part of a trial scheduled to take me out of work for approximately six weeks. But to top off my evening, Boo Kitty made me a delicious dinner of lamb, asparagus, potatoes and carrots. Wash that down with a few glasses of vino and you have one happy Randi. Know why else I was happy? No gym. I'm a slacker. What can I say?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Using the "F" Word

***Update: Gained only .2 this week and it's "that time" so can I get a what what?
On the eve of my own version of "Fat Tuesday" (meaning I weigh in at Weight Watchers and feel like a bloated cow for the rest of the afternoon), I hit the gym and realized that this is a no-win battle I'm fighting. I have come to the conclusion that my vagina is to blame. Once a month for about a week I turn into a hormonal Hoover, sucking up every morsel of fattening food and candy that I can find. Take today for instance, I had no less than 5,793 calories in sweet treats alone. Yes, I had a fiber-filled breakfast and a salad for lunch but in the space between my three balanced meals I could not keep my hands from grabbing pieces of toffee, peanut M&Ms and Abba Zabbas from the candy-laden wonderland that is my office. So what do I do to make amends for my gluttony? I high-tail it to the gym after work and spend 37 minutes on the elliptical trainer and 10 minutes on the stairmaster, sweating buckets, red in the face and my heart beat pulsing in my neck. All in all I'd say I burned approximately 500 calories. But I am my own worst enemy and on the way home I succumbed to the temptation that is the In-N-Out burger drive-thru. For the non-Californians out there that have not had the blissful opportunity to partake in the orgasm that is the double-double, I pray for your sake that you one day make the trip to Mecca and grab yourself a piece of heaven. I did. And I'd do it again! I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm willing to exercise but I am not willing to give up eating. Some people smoke cigarettes 'til they die, some do drugs, some are alcoholics. Not me. I just love me some delicious snackies.
Today BFF and I were talking about dieting as we often do and I told her I'm beginning to accept the body I have. I used to worry that as a single girl I had to be all fit and wee in order to attract a man's attention. Now I figure I'm better off avoiding "that guy" and eventually Prince Charming will come along and love me for my fat rolls and all. I asked her who was I to evict the fat that has decided to take up residence on my body to which she replied "YOU ARE THE LANDLORD OF THE FAT ROLLS, THEY MERELY RENT SPACE FROM YOU! YOU MAY EVICT THEM AT ANY TIME FOR THEY HAVE NO SMALL CHILDREN AND THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN IS A HARSH ONE!!" Now you tell me, could I have a better BFF when it comes to motivation? I think not. So, as so many Tuesdays before it, tomorrow begins a new week where I can perhaps learn to say "No" when it comes to candy and "Yes" when it comes to being the sweaty gym lady. I sure hope this works...

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Movie Reviews

While I sit watching the 78th Annual Academy Awards and correctly predicting the winners in each category thus far, I thought I would recommend a couple of fantastic films I took in this weekend. But can I just ask you if there is anyone cuter than Dolly Parton? So help me.
On Saturday evening I saw Capote and only because of its many Oscar nominations. I went in knowing nothing about either Truman Capote or his book In Cold Blood, his research on which this film was based. Catherine Keener of The 40-Year Old Virgin fame, as Harper Lee, delights me so that she could have literally just sat in the corner and I'd have adored her just the same. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was not even recognizable, his mannerisms and voice completely transformed. But the story alone sucked me in and only makes me want to rush out and purchase his books. How the same man that wrote the light-hearted Breakfast at Tiffany's could delve so deeply into a murder, even cozying up to the murderers over a span of 4 years, to churn out his final book is both admirable and slightly disturbing. You walk away unsure if Capote was an amazing author or a manipulative man obsessed with his own fame. I highly recommend seeing this film and firmly believe all of its nominations were well-deserved.
Then for the opposite end of the film spectrum, my brother and I took in a Sunday matinee of Dave Chappelle's Block Party. If you are a fan of Dave's comedy and a fan of hip-hop, this movie will have you nodding your head and laughing your ass off simultaneously. Chappelle has such a natural knack for being an emcee and has put together a stellar combination of artists to make one of the most memorable concert documentaries I've ever seen. Kanye West, Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, The Roots and Dead Prez all flow together on the stage, as stars and back-up for one another. The closing act? A miraculous Fugees reunion featuring the long-anticipated return of the talented Lauryn Hill. But more than that, Chappelle brought together communities, his own in Ohio and the artists', most of whom grew up in the same place the Block Party was held, the Brooklyn neighborhood, Bed-Stuy. Hearing Wyclef Jean ask a college marching band what they'd do if they were president brought a tear to my eye. This movie was uplifting, hilarious and inspirational all at once. Go see it.
K, now it's back to sweatpants, snacks and the Oscars for me!

Whale Watching

A three-hour tour for 30 seconds worth of whale... but a good day to be at sea nonetheless.

Oly & I and a buoy full of sea lions.

A black dot in the distance is a tail and a puff of water is its blow hole.
A shot of Anacapa Island and the ocean.

Friday, March 03, 2006

L.A. Kings 3, Minnesota Wild 2

Poor Thumb

Ok, so the story goes: I jammed my hair dryer into my acrylic nail at 100 mph and now am left with a dead nail. I'm a klutz. It is gross. The End.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Niece/Nephew News

My "sister-in-law" a.k.a. my brother's pregnant girlfriend, Frannis, went for her first sonogram the other day and heard a heart beat. The fetus is about 7 weeks young and 7 centimeters big. Like the tip of my thumb. The estimated due date is October 23rd. Another Scorpio in my life. A life that is already filled to the brim with them. Grrrreat. She and my brother are keeping a baby journal and they were trying to spell nauseous but he spelled it "noxious." I tried to explain to him that noxious was more like a poison that could make you vomit and he said, "Yah, that's the same thing right?" to which I replied, "No, dude. Your child is not a toxin." I worry for his offspring. But I'm very excited to be an auntie and am literally forcing myself not to purchase baby goodies until after the actual birth. Call me superstitious but I don't like jumping the gun. But every time I see tiny shoes I squeal with delight. How can you not?

Stickin' With A Theme HNT

If it ain't broke, why fix it? Happy HNT!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ash Wednesday

Had I not rescinded my Catholicism, today would represent the first day of Lent meaning the 40-day countdown to Easter has only just begun. Well 44 days because we're not counting Sundays... Anywho. Doesn't matter. Normally this would mean I would give up something to really connect with the idea of the Big JC's sacrifice (a.k.a. me not eating ice cream because He gave His life for my sins) but I'm not gonna do it. Nor am I going to give up eating meat on Fridays. Nope! Know why? Cuz I just said "no" to my religion. Heathen. Sinner. Call me what you may. I'm just going to fall into the cliche category of "Spiritual, not religious." That's that. I will, however, celebrate Easter by stuffing my pie-hole full of Cadbury Mini-Eggs, sometimes also referred to as the "perfect" candy in some of my inner circles. And since they only come out once a year, they don't have any calories! How about that!

Yesterday morning I returned for my second round of jury duty only to be dismissed once again after about an hour sitting in the hallway reading my new book The Tender Bar. It's a delightful little memoir, and is even written by a Pulitzer Prize winner so hopefully we can avoid the backlash that came after the last one I read, James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. Who knew an addict would be a liarmouth? Oh well, a good read is a good read in my book so I still recommend it. The Tender Bar is off to a great start but that just may be because it's set in New York and I have this thing with New York, you know. I'm just mad about it! But back to the story at hand. Due to a personal emergency in the judge's family he has asked that we return next Tuesday for another round. I certainly don't mind. I get paid regardless. But cross your fingers for me that I get picked ok? I love me some justice.

Other than that my thumb nail is now a lovely shade of purple and is starting to look like I soak it in wine in the evenings. Typing isn't the easiest task seeing as it's nearly completely numb unless I hit it in that special way that brings me to the point of vomiting because the pain is so intense. I'm pretty sure the nail's going to fall off. If I can get a good shot of it I'll post a picture just to gross you out. And all of this is a result of my blatant clumsiness. Like a bull in a china cabinet my mother always says. And with that, I bid you adieu.