It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Mystery Man

Never is a word I use a bit too frequently and, more often than not, never tends to come back to haunt me and bite me on the ass. Weight Watchers was a never once. So was going to the gym. The idea of not eating red meat every day was also a never. And apparently, never has decided to rear its ugly head in my alleged love life as well. When I first met Gerg (formerly known as "the widower") I was excited about the prospect of meeting someone that I had so much in common with. Sports, music, and the ability to hold a 3-hour conversation at 3 in the morning while doing a Cancer Relay/Fundraiser. However, when I took into consideration the fact that his wife had passed away only a few months prior to our meeting, I instantly shut off any romantic notions that might have surfaced and dubbed him "friend." He had told me he had feelings for me that went beyond friendship and I said none for me thanks. But when he told me those feelings had faded and he began mentioning another woman, some feelings within me started to surface. Normally I'd congratulate a friend who'd found a love interest... not this time. I turned into a jealous psycho cursing the Kings to lose should he ever decide to take his new gal to a game in my place. Some would say he played the game but I just don't think Gerg is that kind of guy. He's what BFF calls a "good man." He treats me well, makes me laugh and has the patience of a saint while my crazy self tries to figure out what she wants. He's the exact opposite of any of my cheating, commitment-phobic, addictive personality, going nowhere and mildly abusive ex-boyfriends. He respects me. And so, at a snail's pace, we've decided to move beyond the friend phase and explore the possibilities. It's taking some time but so far so good. Never kissed a friend before... can't say I have any complaints thus far.

one of the first pics and my favorite even though gerg didn't smile. note the creepy kid in the background.

.8 Grrrrrrrreat!

So the fatty update of the week is that I lost another .8 pounds. This could be due to the weight of my massive muscle gain having been to the gym 5 out of 7 days last week or it could be due to the umpteen beers and incessant bingeing over the weekend. Oh, hockey games. They'll be my undoing. So will cake batter ice cream from Coldstone's and chilaquiles from the new Mexican place and candy bars from The Chocolate Bar. Sigh. I really fell off the wagon this weekend but you know what they say, you fall off that horse and you get right back on the saddle again. Total weight lost since I really started back on the Weight Watchers program the first week of January: 7.4 pounds. I am literally .3 pounds away from being under 170 for the first time in at least a year. Pants are saggin' and mama's feelin' good. Well asides from contracting yet another cold making it my fourth in two months. Lesson learned: careful who you're kissing.

Monday, January 30, 2006

TV Bad.

Watched the Family Guy last night and finally came to the conclusion that Seth Macfarlane is simply not well. It's so fantastic to watch him make something out of nothing yet run with it for a good 5 minutes. Peter singing "Shiboopi" last night was just too much for me. And Fred Flinstone with a gambling problem? Why?
On MTV there was a program about people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. By power of suggestion I started looking for symptoms. I totally count in my head and if something is out of place I tend to mildly freak out. If you saw my desk you'd be surprised someone actually worked here it's so tidy. I'm just glad I don't have to go through rituals like checking to see if every door is locked or having to touch the mirror seventeen times before I brush my teeth.
VH1's Celebrity Fit Club makes me want to get a personal trainer that will yell at me all the time and make me get into a human-sized hamster ball so I can sweat the fat right off my booty. Which makes me also want to thank Shora for thinking my pictures made me look petite. For those who have forgotten, I'm 5'8" and barely under 170. Pixie my ass.
Ended up watching a show about cannibalism on The History Channel until Mr. Sandman knocked me the fuck out. Holy cow. I guess if I was put in a situation where I had to eat someone rather than starve to death I would probably be the first one to recommend we eat the big guy. Hell, I can barely make it to lunch some days without considering noshing on someone in the office first. There was one situation on a ship that was lost at sea for a significant period of time where the crew decided to eat a slave because he was considered cargo. After his meat ran out and they couldn't take the hunger any more they decided to draw cards to decide who they'd eat next. Well the poor bastard that drew the card was the strongest and sharpest crew member so they decided they'd wait a night and see if they were rescued. While "dinner" waited, he stressed so hard he went deaf and insane. The next day, the ship was rescued and he wasn't eaten after all but he never did recover.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

A Good Cry

While I nearly cried watching my beloved Kings get ridiculously slaughtered by the cheesy Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, no tears were actually shed. It's hard when you realize the champs you fell in love with end up a bunch of chumps. Hence my love affair with My Los Angeles Dodgers. Now the Kings. It's hard to be a fan. I'd also like to add the following:
a#1 - Yes, I know most of the hockey players are Canadian. I hold no hard feelings toward any Canadians, Asians, African Americans or African Canadians.
b#2 - No, there will be no Klan meeting.
c#3 - Try taking everything I say with a grain of salt.

Now that my hockey rant and defensive stance has been heard, let me just tell you I went to see Brokeback Mountain and you can believe the hype. The Golden Globe (and soon Oscar) nominations are well deserved. Never have I seen a truer representation of a cowboy than the performance given by Heath Ledger. I was initially sucked in by Jake Gyllenhaal's sex appeal but ended up walking away a sobbing mess after completely investing myself in the love affair of two gay cowboys and how that affair affected their home, work and personal lives. I see this movie changing minds of those who believe that we have a choice in our sexual orientation. Sure, there are times a woman can arise that certain feeling in me but in the long run why would anyone choose a lifestyle that basically leads to them being ostracized? Also, don't believe that the sex scene is a graphic one. If I was naive, I wouldn't have even known the deed was done. I definitely recommend this one.

And what better to follow up a movie that made me cry than with a book that did the same? Marley & Me by John Grogan basically resurrected my old dog nearly 8 years after my dad called to let me know Tippi had been put to sleep. It brought back the memories of friendship and silliness my beloved dog brought me and also made me mourn her passing all over again. If you can get through this book without laughing out loud and sobbing like a child at the end, you're a better man than I. Seriously check out this guy's website and look at that face! It's rough being a dog lover.

So there you go. Grab your hankies and take in my recommendations. You know you want to.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Oh, Canada

If you can effing believe this, the damn Canadians beat my Los Angeles Kings last night 5 to 3. Yuck. My first loss experienced in the grand ole Staples Center. And one more unbelievable fact: the Edmonton Oilers had a black player. Now, I'm no racist but not only can I not believe a black man was playing hockey but are there really black Canadians? Are they called Afro-Canadians? I'm just wondering. And for the ultra-sensitive out there, surely I jest. And don't call me Shirley. Wait... where was I going with this? I know there are quite a few Canucks that read this site so I was just wondering what y'all thought about your national anthem. Maybe I'm too patriotic but I think the Star Spangled Banner with all it's glorification of war truly kicks ass and brings a tear to my eye almost every time I hear the damn thing played. Is it the same for you? And how does my favorite Russian King, Alexander Frolov a.k.a. Frohawk who will be playing for the Russian Olympic team, feel having to hear another country's anthem played for his team every single time he plays a game? Also, what do I have to do to get a ride on a zamboni? The rider of one of them last night had his jersey personalized with "Zam Man" and I nearly shat myself. I think if I get a dog I'll name it Zamboni. Call him Boni for short. K, I'm done. No pictures for you this time. TGIF.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

And the award for lack of originality goes to...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Randi!

  1. Randiolatry is the mindless worship of Randi.
  2. Randi can sleep for three and a half years.
  3. Randi can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night.
  4. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Randi.
  5. Randi is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
  6. According to the story, Pinocchio was made of Randi!
  7. Originally, Randi could not fly!
  8. Randi can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders.
  9. Banging your head against Randi uses 150 calories an hour.
  10. Pacman was originally called Randiman.
I am interested in - do tell me about


I guess all I need now is Adam and some forbidden fruit.
happy hnt.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

How 'bout That

I went in to my special meeting this morning with a chip on my shoulder and a very closed mind. My supervisor who arranged this one-on-one for me is pretty vague when it comes to explanations so I went in thinking I was being punished. Boy was I wrong. The lovely Kelly is a pro at what she does and did she ever do it well. She gave me a couple "personality" tests and let me just tell you the results were dead on. What I thought was going to be a course in attitude adjustment was really more of a communications lesson where I learned how to better get my point across to a bunch of very different personalities not only in the workplace but in my social life. Three hours later, after much gossip and storytelling, she actually told me she wished she had more time because we were having that much fun! We had a lot in common, too: a Catholic upbringing (a.k.a. guilt), an addict sibling, abusive ex-boyfriends and much more. The one that struck me the most was this story. She had met a man and convinced herself that she didn't want more than friendship. He developed feelings for her and she kept pushing him away only to realize that it was her fear of commitment that kept her from realizing this man loved her and respected her. So she let go of her fear only to find herself happily married to that very man. Sure touched a nerve and opened my eyes... made me realize that after all the hard work is done and the striving for perfection never ceases, even though we may not always think so, we are good enough and deserve to be treated well. Shocker. So as much as I thought this morning would be a huge waste of time, I do believe a door has been opened for me. And this concludes our session of cheese.

A New Attitude

Got a call from HR yesterday and somehow got scheduled in a one-on-one training of sorts to better the way I speak to "the people." It's funny, I have one conflict where I make a co-worker have a mental breakdown and a good cry and I have to go to a seminar. Yet there is one lady I work with who has daily conflicts and has yet to even be spoken to. Is it because I'm prettier than her? Younger? I just don't have the answer. All I do know is that for at least three hours this morning I will be learning how to be a better communicator from a total stranger. I'm going to take this with a grain of salt and look at it as at least a way to get out of the office for a little while. However, if in the future my posts start sounding a little too nice, know that I've been brainwashed. Contact the local authorities immediately and report my supervisor for turning me into The Manchurian Candidate.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


Gym: 3 days in a row, 1 hour each time. Gym bag in the car for a 4th.
Fat: 2.2 pounds lost this week.
Total weight lost: 6.6 pounds.
Pounds to go to reach 10%: 11.
Pounds to go 'til Randi is happy: 21.
Bally's Gym Membership & Weight Watchers: Priceless.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Mistaken Identity?

Dude, how sad is it that I thought this was Michael Jackson at first, not the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones... wow.


Flipping channels last night I came upon TLC 's program The 627-Pound Woman, followed by The Half-Ton Man. As most of you now know, I've recently joined the cult that is Weight Watchers (no offense taken, April!) and have become mildly obsessed with "The Fat." Literally every bite I take has to be written in a journal and I'm followed up on by the scale monitor every mildly humiliating Tuesday morning. I have to look up points, measure my servings and really pay attention to what I'm eating. It's very time consuming but I'm getting results so it's worth it. I even went to the gym on Saturday and Sunday morning for an hour each time and have the sore muscles to prove it. Basically, losing weight is much harder than putting it on. But I got to thinking, how much do you have to eat and how little self-awareness must you have to allow yourself to be hundreds of pounds overweight. One man spoke of having a dozen scrambled eggs for breakfast and 22 hot dogs for dinner. I mean, I see my size 12s getting a little snug and realize something has to be done. 20 pounds is upsetting but having to lose 500 must be God awful! There's surgery involved, the inability to walk, extra skin hanging off your body after the weight loss, diabetes, feeding tubes, infections, surgical complications... How does one put their body through the ringer that way? There was one doctor that blamed it on a "Fat Gene" saying that these obese people don't have the shut-off switch required to let their body know they're full. Now that's all well and good but when you look in the mirror don't you know that something has to give? Has shopping for clothing that large not become a problem so huge that you have to make your own muumuus? If you can't roll over in your own bed don't you think you need to make a lifestyle change? I'm not trying to hate on people that are obese but I get a little irked that people don't take responsibility for their own body. Don't sue McDonald's, just don't buy their food. Don't blame genetics, it's your hand going to your mouth. K, I'm jumping off my soap box now. I'll let you know how the pound sheddage is going tomorrow.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Old Fashioned Love Song

This weekend as I was driving around listening to AM radio and some oldies music a thought dawned on me. If someone in this day and age wrote a song about crushes and puppy love they would be ridiculed to no end. Then I realized, love songs have been bastardized into the raunchiest sentiments ever. It's no longer about the heart but about who's making who wet and how they're going to make you get off... Physical has taken over emotional and it's not pretty. Prime example: Last night I was at a quincenera which is a Mexican girl's coming-of-age party when she turns 15. At one point in the evening the DJ put on a song that was little more than moans and groans and a repeated chorus of "Run, run, girl I'm gonna make you wet." Give or take. Now I ask you, what the hell business does a 15-year old girl have listening to shit like that? George Michael's "I Want Your Sex," a radio favorite when I was a little younger than that age, is mild in comparison. It didn't include any grunts that alluded to or simulated the art of intercourse at least. Truly, I don't even know if I knew what sex was at that time...
I guess in a way I had a realization that I'm too old for some things. I'd like to imagine there's still some innocence out there but it's harder and harder to find it. I wonder, do kids have the same kind of crushes I had when I was a kid? Do they get butterflies in their stomach when they think of their first kiss or do their thoughts veer more to the idea of losing their virginity... Reason 934,765 why I don't want kids. Oh, that and I never want to have a baby shower where I ask my loved ones to crochet for me. I learned this morning that I'm never going to throw together a baby blanket and tiny clothing does nothing for me. More power to the breeders, though. Call me if you need a sitter.

Friday, January 20, 2006

987654321 (stolen from BFF)

Should I change my blog's name to It's all about memes?

Cigarette: Sometime in November
Beverage: Water. All the time. Damn diet.
Kiss: Jesus… August? I simply can't count my family in this one.
Movie seen: Crash
Phone call: BFF
CD played: Michael Buble
Bubble bath: 2 weekends ago, looks like I’m due.
Time I cried: Watching Crash... if I told you what part I'd ruin it.
Serious relationship: 5 years ago. Hi, Tony.

Dated one of my best friends: Nah, they’re girls.
Skinny dipped: Yes, sir! Soooooooo nice.
Kissed somebody and regretted it: Definitely.
Fallen in love: I thought so but I could be wrong.
Lost someone I loved: My sweet doggie, Tippi.
Been depressed: Hells to the yes.
Been drunk and threw up: So many times it’s embarrassing.

1. Hawaii
2. Nevada
3. Washington
4. Arizona
5. New York
6. Pennsylvania
7. Alaska

1. Got paid.
2. Had lunch with my grandparents.
3. Salvaged a friendship.
4. Laughed ‘til I choked.
5. Shopped for clothes out of the back of a truck.
6. Stuffed a whole lot of W-2s.

1. Reading
2. Orgasms
3. Putting things in my mouth (food, booze... use your imagination).
4. Traveling
5. Taking Pictures

1. BFF
2. Crusty
3. My Ma
4. Apparently all you people.

1. For more wishes.
2. To have a stellar bod.
3. That my friends, family and I live long, healthy lives together.

1. See the world.
2. Fall deeply in love.

1. Nothing. I would never know the things I know now if it wasn’t for my mistakes in the past. But if I had to pick ONE thing it would be not finishing school sooner.

Thrashers Got Thrashed!

Watched the Kings game last night on the big screen TV and watched them come out of their 2 game losing streak. Also saw Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuc Robitaille break the King's all time highest scoring player record AND pull a hat trick. What a night!

I also got a little bit of a "lesson learned," which is always a favorite pastime for me. The lesson is: if you're going to say ANYTHING about ANYONE (say on a blog...) you better be able to say it to their face. If there's one thing I can be proud of it's that I'm not a liar. Sure, I talk some shit now and then but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you'll get the truth outta me one way or another. Most times voluntarily.
Dammit I love getting all moral on that ass.

On a completely unrelated note, I thought I would update you on the Weight Watcher's progress. I'm close to 5 lbs. lost in only 2 weeks so things are going pretty well. Hopefully the pound sheddage continues because I got my bridesmaid dress in the mail last night for the wedding I'll be in come July and I'll tell you one title I won't be holding: Fat Bridesmaid. Yikes. Nothing like a sleeveless dress to slap you in the face with the realization that girlfriend has some big upper arms. Haha.

And with that I bid you farewell and TGIF, bitches.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I Tagged Myself!

I copied April cuz she's cool as all hell....

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life
(1.) Jam Guard at Smuckers (2.) Catholic/German Office Manager at a Jewish Summer Camp (3.) Barista at Starbucks (4.) Workin’ for the Citay
Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over
(1.) Tommy Boy (2.) The Wedding Singer (3.) 40-Year Old Virgin (4.) Old School
Four Places You’ve Lived
(1.) Koreatown (2.) Oxnard (3.) The Valley (4.) West L.A.
Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
(1.) My Name Is Earl (2.) Scrubs (3.) Anything on Court TV i.e. Forensic Files (4.) Anything on A&E with Bill Curtis i.e. Cold Case Files
Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation
(1.) Australia (2.) Alaska (3.) Kauai, HI (4.) NYC
Four Blogs You Visit Daily
Basically all the ones I link to. But the obsession went from BFF to Macca to Maine to April first.
Four Of Your Favorite Foods
(1.)Pizza (2.) Burrito (3.) Grilled Cheese Sando (4.) Ice Cream
Four Places You’d Rather Be
(1.) In Bed (2.) On Vacay (3.) Hiking (4.) Getting a massage
Four Albums You Can’t Live Without
(1.) Duran Duran - Greatest (2.) Maroon 5 – Songs About Jane (3.) Madonna – Immaculate Collection (4.) Willie Nelson - Greatest Hits
Four Vehicles You’ve Owned
(1.) ’89 Silver Ford Taurus (2.) ’87 Navy BMW 325 (3.) 2000 Blue VW Beetle (4.) 2003 Black Turbo S VW Beetle

Betty Page HNT

What girl can pass up a bargain on shoes like these? Via Spiga, Italian leather, at Bloomingdale's, originally $200, mine for $70. And now I think I'm a pin-up. Happy HNT.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Being a lover of words as you may have picked up after quite a few of my "WOD" posts, I was so pleased to stumble upon this site. Better than your average dictionary, this bad boy tells you how phrases like "bated breath" and "three sheets to the wind" came into play. I love shit like this.

Stayin' Put

After much thoughtful consideration, the feedback of my peers and the advice of my mentors I have decided to withdraw my application for the Records Tech position at the Police Department. One of my main reasons for doing so is getting the ever elusive Bachelors Degree. Why take an entry level job when I can just hold tight here for a couple more years, get my degree and make a career at a higher level. One of my biggest faults is a lack of patience and a sort of instant gratification mentality. When I was supposed to be focusing on college, I got swept up in the idea of making money "now" instead of looking at the big picture. I ended up at one low-paying retail job after another, not really going anywhere with my life. So while I could be making tens of thousands of dollars more a year had I just stayed the course, I'm only now making decent money at a fairly entry level position. Recently I got a raise and a promotion from an Account Clerk I to a II so I think I've got a good thing going. For "now." They're flexible with my schedule and presently the focus has got to be on finishing school. I just wanted to thank you for encouraging me and congratulating me when I thought I was going somewhere else. I'll try to avoid yanking your chain in the future.

Monday, January 16, 2006


That's the sound my window made when a golf ball went through it this afternoon while I was chilling on my bed and talking to BFF, not a care in the world. Sure, a broken window is a hazard when living on the golf course but the course is in our backyard and my room is in the front. Someone's got a terrible hook and should really reconsider their career in the game.
It's also the name of the movie I watched this evening. I'm so excited I got to see two good movies in two days. This one is an emotional roller coaster full of some serious racial tensions. Several stories are connected to one car crash in Los Angeles and they all tie together in the end in much the same vein as Amores Perros (another great flick if you're interested). Crash really makes you think and feel and reconsider the stereotypes you may be harboring subconsciously. Sandy Bullock plays a bitch for the first time I can ever recall and she does it with gusto. Don Cheadle has to be one of the greatest actors in our time. There are so many names in this movie that if I listed them all this post would take me ages to write up but trust me that this movie is very performance driven and everyone portrays their character top notch. It's an ugly realization of our society right on the DVD and the cast was brave and honorable to put their names on something that has great potential to ruffle some feathers. I love a movie that makes me think.
And on a note completely unrelated to any sort of crash...
My mother and I were in the car and she was reading a sticker on the car in front of us. Before she knew what she was saying, the following was so eloquently stated that it might as well have come from the mouth of the Queen of England: Rock out with your cock out. Now if you can hear your mom say some shit like that with a straight face, more power to you. Me? I laughed my ass off.

Word O' The Day

So, in casual conversation last night over dinner with my entire family my brother dropped the following prison lingo as if we'd all done time with him when he was in the pokey.

Word: Chomo. Meaning? Child Molester.

And there you have it, kids. Our word of the day. Spread it like wildfire.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Blockbuster Weekend

What else do you do on a 4-day weekend when you have a cold?

Friday night was Mr. & Mrs. Smith to finally see what all the hype was about. I can't say I loved the movie, it was pretty slow in the beginning had one climactic fight scene between the Smiths and ended uneventfully. It was pretty dope watching Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt beating the shit out of each other though. And that's one gorgeous house with lots of hidden spy accoutrement. Mostly, watching just made me feel sad for Jennifer Aniston seeing as that is the movie that ended her marriage although there is a scene at the kitchen table between her ex and her new beau, Mr. Vince Vaughn that my dad found "ironic."

Saturday night I went to the widower's and we took in Into The Blue, a complete waste of 2 hours of my life. There is simply too much going on in this movie. Jessica Alba is pretty much half-nekked for most of the film so guys will like it. Paul Walker is pretty easy on the eyes, too, but he and Tyson Beckford should maybe just be pretty rather than be actors. I'm just saying. There's a buried treasure, a plane stuffed with coke on the bottom of the sea, shark attacks and, of course, the tension between the treasure hunters and the drug lords. Yup. Okay. I think the highlight of this movie for me was watching the character Amanda get her leg half-eaten by a shark. Awesome.

Thank God for Sunday mornings and the redemption that came with March of the Penguins. Morgan Freeman could literally be reading me the flippin' phone book and I would be fascinated. This is a documentary at its finest and it will literally amaze you what these hilariously shaped birds go through every five years just to mate and breed. They are truly impressive creatures, so fat and adorable, and watching them will make you squeal with delight and marvel that they are actually able to survive and flourish in the world's worst atmosphere, sometimes going 4 months at a time without food. And the babies? Well can I have one? Go rent this above all others if you haven't seen it already.

Watching Crash tomorrow. I'll keep you posted though I've already heard from everyone this is one of the best films of 2005. And why would they lie?

Friday, January 13, 2006

Night Terrors

Well not really but for the last two nights I've woken up broken out in hives after having some fucked up nightmares.
Night one: I'm a counselor at the summer camp I used to work for and all of a sudden there's a landslide. Me and the entire staff are grabbing kids left and right and running for our lives through these orange groves while be chased by an ever-growing wave of rubble. We finally get to safety and the kids are all in their emergency groups so we can count them and make sure everyone made it and who is there but all the kids from the block I grew up on? And how are we going to be rescued? I have to trek across a beach and swim in the ocean until I get to this Pirates of the Caribbean type town... you know the one. Where the wenches are being chased by dirty old men and dogs and livestock litter the streets. And END SCENE.
Night two: I am in the process of getting married to a gorgeous man and my nuptials are looking just like the one in Monsoon Wedding. All my friends and even P. Diddy are there (don't ask} but one of my balloons gets away and shit goes downhill real fast. I can't remember my husband's name, I don't get a ring and then all of a sudden we're in a fucking car chase followed by a bunch of gun wielding terrorists shootin' up the place. And I'm awake!
Now, these are not my usual dreams but for two straight nights I've had to wake myself out of them and have found my arms speckled by tiny little dots that I'm taking to be hives. Stress? Don't think so. Just thought I'd share in case anyone's a dream interpreter out there. My trip to San Fran's been rescheduled so it's lots of rest and plenty of fluids for me this weekend. TGIF, kids.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Or not...

I was supposed to go to San Fran but nooooooooo. I have my 3rd cold in 2 months. Nice. So I guess my 4-day weekend will be spent in bed. Hmph.


It's Thursday and I'm having some conflicting thoughts. Like, why did I get my car washed when it's going to rain all weekend? How unfair is it that I'll probably be doing math homework all day on my day off thanks to MLK? How badly do I want a beer?
See, for my resolution to aid in my weight loss I decided I wouldn't drink until St. Patrick's Day. But I totally forgot about the Kings game at the end of the month and how well some hockey and beer go together. And what about Superbowl Sunday? I mean, what goes better together than football and beer? Then there's ladies' night at the wine bar... can't exactly sip coffee there now can I? What the hell was I thinking?

Played the 65 million dollar lotto last night. Two floors of my building put in $5 a pop and we won $23... right.

Having some serious second thoughts about the P.D. and thus have broken out in some weird little hive-like bumps on my arms. Do I leave here when only one person makes me miserable and I'm good at what I do? Do I start a new job that won't be flexible with school when I'm literally 2 years away from my bachelor's degree? Decisions, decisions.

I guess it's a good thing I'm going on a mini-vacay this weekend to San Francisco. Hopefully I'll take a few good pictures to share with you all and it'll make up for the bleakness of this here post.

HNT 11 Already?

clothed and not-so-clothed
When weight I want to lose is gone, I'll really miss my tits the most. Better have fun with them while I can.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Math V40

First day of school and I'm the teacher's pet. Math and I have had a rocky relationship since the beginning... it still amazes me to this day that I work in finance. I mean, all numbers all the time? Am I a mad woman? I must be. So while I managed to avoid math in college for many, many years it has come to the point (graduation) where I can avoid it no longer. I'm currently enrolled in "Math Topics for College Students" and I actually left class tonight with a fucking grin on my face. A grin, people! Because I knew answers and did a little of what some would call "class participation." Even got a "good job" or two from the professor who, by the way, totally looks like a tidied up Bob Ross, complete with tie-dyed tee featuring a jaunty little harp seal. And why not I ask you? So I'm stoked. If, pardon me, when I pass this class, math shall be damned from my life forever! So wish me God speed because from now until May, I'm going to be studying. Shhhh... I know. It's an ugly word. But I can and will do this, G-damn it!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Wait Watchers

So it seems as though my new year's resolution is working out pretty well for me so far. I joined Weight Watchers in the beginning of December which was just a bad idea all the way around considering the holiday binge-fest that would ensue but it was either then or never I figured. My weight fluctuated a bit after my vacay to New York and then with all the feasting at Christmas-time so last week, after 4 weeks as a member, I weighed .4 pounds more than when I joined. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. But this week I was steadfast and counted my daily points, hiked on Saturday and eliminated all booze from my diet. Friday night at the bar sipping on a cappucino while all my girlfriends were getting shithoused was a challenge to say the least but I did it. And my reward? Today at weigh-in I was rewarded with the news that I have lost 4 pounds this week, 3.6 overall. So I'm just waiting to see what can happen by my birthday in May. Perhaps I'll start coming to work in a 2-piece bathing suit... and I have a feeling my HNTs are going to be a lot more fun.

Monday, January 09, 2006

For Naughty Girls

Go here.

Silly Chicken


Does this shit ever get old? Did Anchorman not mock it enough to be un-newsworthy by now?

Oh My Head...

Some of you may not know this about me but I'm stricken with tension headaches and migraines more often than I care to admit. The blinding pain, the nausea, the sleepless nights and missed work... they're really starting to wear me out. Even Vicodin didn't work last night if you can believe that so I was left with a head that throbbed so hard it made my teeth chatter, broken out in a cold sweat, completely without any shut-eye. If I recall correctly, George Clooney once contemplated suicide because of terrible headaches. True, his brain fluid was like leaking out of his nose or something but still, I can feel his pain. I'm at the end of my rope here. And apparently highly influenced by celebrity. Marcia Cross of Desperate Housewives fame is also a migraine sufferer. Apparently, she changed her diet, ditched the booze and exercised more and voila the migraines were gone. So I'm going to try what she did. Probably ditch the birth control pills too since I'm certainly not getting any. But if any of you have any recommendations, holla at your grrrl because if something doesn't give soon I may just chop off my own head to fix the problem. I'll be the girl with the bleeding stump of a neck, if you see me be sure and say hello.

Sunday, January 08, 2006


We finally made it to see the movie I've been waiting for all year: King Kong. I think for the most part I'm lucky to have never seen the original because I literally walked into the theater pretty much having no idea what the movie was about. Obviously a giant ape and his lovely lady were key elements but I didn't know the ins and outs. For a 3-hour movie, I actually thought to myself at the end "That's it?" I wanted to know what happened with Ann and Jack in the end but that's really my only complaint... well, that and the cheesy dialogue but what do you expect from an action movie? The CGI effects were pretty much seamless aside from when Kong would pick Ann up and she kind of looked like a Barbie doll. But I can't complain. Plus, the theater was completely full as if the film just opened. Gotta be a good sign, right?
The dinosaur chase scene gave me an anxiety attack at one point prompting me to expel some sort of primal grunt to warn the running crew. There is also an insane giant-insect scene that left me wondering if I'd be stricken with nightmares for the rest of my life. Jack Black plays filmmaker Carl Denham with incredible smarminess and Colin Hanks (who I only knew from when he last paired up with Jack Black in Orange County) is just as cute as his daddy Tom when he wasn't pretentious. Naomi Watts will make you question if she's really Nicole Kidman's long lost sister and Adrien Brody, we decided, is only attractive because of his soulful eyes and expressive eyebrows.
But what the movie is all about is the monkey. And what a sad monkey he is. By the end of the film you'll have no doubt in your mind that Ann and he have a special, innocent kind of love affair that was doomed from day one. How Andy Serkis can bring a monkey suit to life is beyond me but he did it and he did it well. And that's what I have to say about that.

More Butterflies

I went for another hike (with Oly this time) and there were even more Monarchs out this week. Pictures? Well sure! First the butterflies, note how in the "fluttering wing" photo those 2 are fornicating right before our eyes. Exhibitionists.

Now some random hike pics:

Friday, January 06, 2006

Semi-Religious Trivia

Did you know that today is actually the 12th day of Christmas? That's right. It's not actually a countdown to Christmas song but a wind-down if you will. Today is the Epiphany also known in espanol as Dia de los Reyes. Loosely translated as Day of the Kings. Supposedly today is the day that the three wise men found their way to the baby Jesus and "revealed" to the world that He was king. The reason I mention this is:

A#1 - I love useless trivia
B#2 - Big fan of J.C.
and C#3 - My co-worker just brought me a wee little loaf of bread all wrapped up purdy-like. And do you know why? It's a King's Cake in honor of the magi, dude. Nice.

Should you like to read more about this holy day, go here. Or don't. Whatever. I'm not the boss of you. Just trying to throw some interesting shit out there to move the shot of my CFM boots down so Macca won't be distracted at work.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Officer Bird

God damn it. I'm literally losing my mind here and even Google couldn't assist me in my quest. When I was a little girl I really really remember this little blue parrot and he used to ride a flippin' bicycle and someone would say "What's the word, Officer Bird?" and he'd give a safety tip for the day. I could definitely be wrong here but it was more than likely on after Mr. Rogers or maybe Sesame Street. K. That's all. I guess I'm obsessing because no one remembers the good officer like I do. I'm counting on you, Maine.

HNT is Famous!

And so is my friend, Shora! I'm pretty sure that's her butterfly HNT mentioned in the first line. Check the link to see what all the fuss is about!


These are by far THE sexiest and sluttiest boots I've ever owned. Bend me over and spank me already.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Day O'Humpin'

Yesterday I was all ready to go to the gym after work, even had the gym bag in my trunk, trying to make good on my silent resolution to actually make it worth the money I pay to have a membership. Then, after my 9-hour work day, I remembered that I ate shit on Monday whilst ice skating and felt when I breathed that I may or may not have badly bruised my ribs. It's either that or I actually used muscles that I didn't think I had but I'm pretty sure it's the former as I fell directly on my back on some frozen, ice-coated concrete while trying to do my best impression of Christie Yamaguchi. But that's just my take on it.
So instead of being the best I could be in the world of physical fitness I just went home for some meatloaf and relaxation. Skimmed over the Weight Watcher pamphlets I've collected and realized I've gained 17 pounds since April of '04 and I'm not too pleased about that. I was all ready to fall into one of my classic shame spirals when I said to myself, "Fuck that." I did really well following my points so why am I going to beat myself up?
Then, I realized, I needed a boost from my role model: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For Christmas I got the 40-DVD, 7-season collection so I thought I'd throw one of those bitches on. And boy did I feel better. There's really nothing like watching a hot chick kick some ass while simultaneously getting her ass kicked. Plus she's surrounded by some of the best darned friends around and hotty vampires. What on earth can be wrong with that? For those of you that shun Buffy and her fans, I say shame on you. Get a taste before you decide against her. That's my tip of the day.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Inevitable Resolution

Is it a bad sign that the first 2 days of the year have been gray, cloudy and rainy? Or could it be that the rain is the proverbial washing clean of the alleged slate? It's the beginning of a new year and it's time to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak, and make some changes. It seems cliche to say that my new year's resolution is to eat right and exercise because that's what everyone says and even fewer actually do. So rather than make another bold declaration about my physical appearance, I've decided that my new year's resolution is to have more willpower. In so many aspects of my life I tend to just stand by the wayside and go with the flow when in reality there are some serious decisions to be made.
In 2006, I'm hoping to find the switch in me that enables the word "no" to escape from my mouth. No, thank you, I don't need seconds. No dessert for me thanks. No, I'm actually driving tonight so I won't have that beer. No, I can't stay in my bed late today because I have to get to the gym. No, I won't withdraw from my upcoming math class should the going get rough.
But I also want the willpower to say yes to challenges. Yes to volunteering more on committees in my community. Yes to meeting new people. Yes to the police department when they offer me the position I re-applied for even though it scares me to death to step outside my comfort zone.
I want 2006 to be "my year." The year I look in the mirror and say, "Damn, girl, you look smokin' hot" or "You finally did it!" This year I want to smile with pride when I accept my Associates Degree. This year I want to learn to love myself so maybe I can find love. This year I want to really show the people in my life that I couldn't be who I am today without them. This year, I want to count my blessings rather than list the things I don't have.
So here's to the new year and making resolutions count. Cheers.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


No matter how you say it, may you all be blessed
with a happy, healthy and prosperous '06.
Chinese (Cantonese) - Sun nien fai lok
Chinese (Mandarin) - Xin nian yu kuai
Danish - Godt Nytår
Dutch - Gelukkig nieuwjaar
Farsi - Aide shoma mobarak
French - Bonne année
Gaelic - Aith-bhliain Fe Nhaise Dhuit
German - Gutes Neues Jahr
Greek - Kali chronia
Hawaiian - Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Hebrew- Shanah tovah
Hmong - Nyob zoo xyoo tshiab
Indonesian - elamat Tahun Baru
Italian - Buon Capo d'Anno
Japanese - Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu
Norwegian - Godt Nyttår
Pilipino (Tagalog) - Maligayang Bagong Taon
Polish - Szczesliwego Nowego roku
Portuguese - Feliz ano novo
Romanian - La Multi Ani
Russian - S Novym Godom
Spanish - Feliz Año Nuevo
Sudanese - Wilujeng Tahun Baru
Swedish - Gott Nytt År
Turkish - Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Welsh - Blwyddyn Newydd Dda