It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Yah Boyeee!

Well it seems as though my regularly scheduled blogging has had to be pushed back to the evenings as I am actually now working while at the workplace. Shocking, I know. Due to an unfortunate emergency hysterectomy of the payroll lady, I have been thrown into the lion's den so to speak, completely unannounced and untrained and am taking over her duties (to please those booties). A tidbit of good news to follow the baloney, however, is that I will be getting a pay increase. Holla! Add that to the 2.5% raise I'll get once I'm a graduate with an Associates Degree this December and I'm going to be pulling in some phat cash. Of which I should probably save the majority of if I ever plan on moving out of my parents' house again.
Speaking of school, I spoke to the professor this evening and it seems I'm pulling an A as my final grade in my lab as of my last quiz this evening. My final for the lecture class is on Thursday and then I'm DONE until I have to do my stupid dummy math class in the Spring so I'll be eligible for a transfer to a CSU. Did I tell you I have a learning disabilty in math? Sweet.
Also, on a "fat" note, I broke down and joined Weight Watchers today so I can be all svelte and sexy when I'm a bridesmaid in July. Let me just state for the record, dieting sucks ass. But I think I did OK for my first day. What concerns me was my weigh in. Yowzas. I had no idea.
So that's that and I believe this qualifies for the world's most boring blog entry ever. Better luck next time, right? They can't all be winners.

Monday, November 28, 2005

My Weekend

While I have no pictures of me on Friday night, let it be known that I spent the evening in the only gay bar in Ventura trying to pull some ass for my uncle. He shot down the lovely British man I chose for him to fill the shoes of my new auntie but I was able to teach the bartenders how to make the best shot in the world: a chocolate cake. It's equal parts Absolut Citron and Frangelico. It's a delicious little experiment in chemistry because in no way should hazelnut and lemon make a chocolate cake but it works! Shout out goes to Patty Pizzle for that little secret.

look closely! it's a fight!

me & my double chin in my new jersey (no, not you Bon Jovi)!

On Saturday I was fortunate enough to be invited to yet another Kings game. And what a game it was! Once again, Kings won with a score of 3 to 2. The Chicago Blackhawks did put up an awesome defense though. I am officially hooked on this sport. There were 2 fights this time, the second ending in helmets coming off and a King down and unconscious, some bloodletting, being taken off the ice on a stretcher even though he clearly won the fight. It was incredible and apparently I'm very aggressive because even though homey left unconscious I was still itching for another fight. And once again, my ass was completely inebriated and I practically fell out of the car while getting into it to head home. I love hockey, dude. And I tip my hat to the widower who henceforth shall be known only as Stewart McGregor (the coolest alias in town).

this is downtown and a chuppah, note the many yarmulkes

Sunday blew as far as Sunday's go. Not only did I get yet another cold (my second this month) but I also attended the world's longest Jewish wedding in history. There had to have been over 250 people there and they had the nerve to have a buffet. And this is after a hora that lasted an hour minimum. I swear to you, no more weddings for me unless I show up with a date or a close personal friend for emotional support. The only redeeming factor was seeing some old co-workers of mine and getting a fantastic view of downtown from Greystone Mansion in L.A. Beautiful.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


So a couple of days ago I got a letter in the mail from the people that do the hiring for the position I applied for and I received some excellent news! Out of 40 applicants they chose the top three and I ranked NUMBER ONE. To say I'm pleased is the understatement of the year. Basically there are three positions open at the P.D. and if all goes well I will be in one of them. Yesterday I got news that I am to report to the woman in charge at 4:30 in the afternoon on December 7th. We get to go on to the background check portion of the process. This is the part that concerns me although my personal background, while not spotless, is pretty squeaky clean. However, there is a stipulation that you can't have smoked pot within a year and I'm not sure if that is from the date of hire or the date of the background check. So I'm sweating that a smidge seeing as my "quit date" was New Year's Day of 1995... still have a little over month to go. That and my brother's history of run-ins with the law, so to speak, are my only worries. But I'm well on my way to sealing the deal. Now if I could only learn how to play the drums my life would be complete.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Musical Mistake

In keeping with my movie madness of late, I accompanied Crusty to see her birthday pick of a film: Rent. I had absolutely no desire to take in this particular picture aside from it being at her request and after viewing it I can see why it wasn't so much my cup of tea. Aside from taking in a titillating 30 minutes total of screen time featuring the delicious Taye Diggs, I can truly say this isn't a film I'm going to recommend. The music is very rock opera, sort of 70s style and they sing A LOT. I mean I know it's a musical but it's pretty much a constant song. Rosario Dawson is darling if not just a tad bit too emaciated in this role for my liking. And after seeing Jesse Martin singing his gorgeous ass off I will never look at Law & Order the same way again. Apparently I can plead ignorance because I had no idea this entire musical is about AIDS and gays. Which is perfectly fine by me, I was just taken by surprise. Another turn-off for me was the cliche stereotypical casting. There was the Jewish filmmaker, a gay black man, a cross-dressing Puerto Rican, a black lesbian lawyer, a white lesbian performance artist, and the token heroin junkies: one ethnic, one white. Anyhoo, I just didn't love it though there were a couple of catchy songs like 5 hundred 25 thousand 600 minutes that will not stop torturing me by circulating incessantly around my brain. And that's all I can say about that.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


Happy Turkey Day!

For Crusty's birthday we got pedicures so I'm showing mine off alongside her birthday orange from the sushi restaurant. Naughty. I was told once my toes looked like the now famous Cingular bars... is that true? They've also been called finger toes and monkey toes... actually, why am I posting this?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Americana At Its Finest

Last night I had the privilege of picking my uncle up from the Burbank airport. Naturally, arriving after 9 p.m., he was a bit famished so I decided to take him to the historical Bob's Big Boy. Nothing like some grease chased by a strawberry milkshake right before bed time. Mmm, delicious. There was a big to-do about a new Bob's opening in Santa Paula but this particular site is a classic and it can't be replicated. When I was a wee girl, I'd visit my grandparents in North Dakota and we'd go to Bob's for their pizza burgers, flyin' style. It was basically a sealed patty melt minus the onions, garnished with pizza sauce. You just can't get that out here in Southern California. Dad used to bring 'em back in a cooler. Ahh, memories. And with that, I hope you all have a phenomenal Turkey Day.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Bane of My Existence

I hate the super market. And I hate it when people I know ask me what "the market" is. True, it is not so much known as the marketplace any more but I still call it the market. By any other name (grocery store, el supermercado) it is still a source of my anxiety. When I lived in L.A. it took a good friend of mine to come over every other week to take me shopping or nary a fresh piece of food could be found in my cupboard. It's a combination of things that deter me from buying my own food in the giant warehouse that is a Vons: lack of what I want; too much selection; Christmas carols in November; long lines; dirty, shoeless people; my ignorance as to how to purchase fresh produce and/or meat products... the list goes on and on. So, at all costs, I try to avoid grocery shopping. I leave it to my old lady (a.k.a. my mom) and it seems to work out just fine. I will pretty much eat whatever you put in front of me anyway save for Swiss cheese, bologna and olives. Well today I had to do the last-minute Thanksgiving shopping alone and I can tell you it was no walk in the park but I did get everything on my detailed list sans rutabaga. I guess it's not a very popular veggie but we love it just the same. And to my delight I ran into an old friend of mine who I went from first to twelfth grade with. He had his wee, darling children in his cart and told me he liked my hair. That's all it took to keep that jaunt from being a total nightmare. So for the rest of you, have fun out there getting your sage and turkeys, I'm in for the week.

Monday, November 21, 2005

And Another One...

So I have seen 4 movies in the last week. The cherry on top was a much anticipated viewing last night of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. To preface this review I can honestly confess I never thought I would buy into the hype that surrounded this book series when first it came to public attention. However, there is no denying the fact that JK Rowling can really write a book. What started as an innocent venture into a fantasy world of prepubescent magicians has quickly turned into a little bit of an obsession. I can devour a 700-page book in a matter of days instead of weeks. I can see a trailer for the movie adaptation and literally give a yip of glee in the theater and anxiously await its arrival in my local cineplex. The movie stays very true to the book but unfortunately, due to serious time constraints I imagine, many elements are left out. Voldemort is one scary mo-fo... actually now that I think of it, Goblet was an all around scary movie warranting its PG-13 rating. The Tri-Wizard Tournament and the Quidditch World Cup are spectacularly done and it is an exhilarating ride. Those 3 kids keep getting cuter as they get older and are faced with first crushes and new tensions in their friendships. The professors are as charming and interesting as usual but Severus Snape, in my humble opinion, demands more screen time. What really impressed me was the number of people my age in the theater without children, another testament to the excellent writing. What I didn't understand was what possessed people to bring their small babies to a loud, (and to a child) terrifying movie. Some people will never learn. Thumbs up.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Did I not tell you that MSN is stalking me? How do they know!?! Is it like that thing (stolen from Macca) where you think of a number and that symbol appears on the screen?

April 19 - May 19
Has the perfect career for you suddenly materialized out of nowhere, dear Taurus? If so, don't write it off as being too good to be true. It's very, very real! Take a few days to consider all your options and all possible contingencies. Talk to people who know the ins and outs of the field. If everything seems favorable, go for it. Such an opportunity may not come around again for a long time.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Ring of Fire Indeed

Literally just moments ago I walked out of Walk the Line as happy as a clam. Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix not only have their acting chops honed but they can go right on ahead and pursue singing careers should the spirit move them. Their performances were outstanding enough for me to seriously consider purchasing the soundtrack just to hear their renditions of some classic rock and roll. I could almost go so far as to call this movie a chick flick the romantic theme is so predominant in this film. It's a taboo love whose result is so sweet. The film starts with Johnny Cash as a young boy and follows him into young adulthood so it only covers a very short span of his life. However, considering his was one so richly lived, it's no wonder they had to focus in on the love story between him and June Carter otherwise the movie would've been 8 hours long instead of just over 2. In case you can't tell, I highly recommend that you see this movie. The lead actors get so lost in the embodiment of their characters that you nearly forget it's not actually June and Johnny up on that screen. They're so charming and deep and the chemistry between them is electric. If you weren't a Cash fan prior to this, there's no way you won't be after a viewing.

On a completely different note, after the movie Oly and I went to Coldstone's (mmm cake batter ice cream!) and ran into our high school religious studies teacher, Mr. Betencourt. He adored Oly back then and called her and her beau at the time Lucy and Ricky. I, on the other hand, must have driven him mad due to my incessant questions and endless chatter with the people around me. So tonight he had stars in his eyes when he looked upon Oly but hardly even acknowledged me. At one point he was on the other end of the courtyard and I loudly exclaimed "No!" for one reason or another to which he responded, "I guess some things never change." Har dee har har.

When I Grow Up...

How many of you actually knew what you wanted to do with your life when you were 18? 25? How about now? Until recently, I had no idea what I wanted to be or what path my career would take. I'm in school and the most frequently asked question I get is "What's your major?" Dude, I don't know. Here I am taking general ed just to get by and get an Associates degree under my belt. I have no set direction. I play with the idea of a Spanish major or maybe Criminal Justice... lately even becoming a coroner is really appealing to me. But the thing is, I've only just recently been giving it some serious thought.

Yesterday I had my interview for the Police Department's Records Technician position. I did my best to sell myself but for a girl with mild issues with self esteem, it's tough. I spouted off about my Puritanical work ethic, my ability to work with confidential information and that I know the meaning of accountability, something that I find is rare in the work force. It went well. The panel laughed when I wanted them to, enthusiastically nodded their heads to my responses, and in general the atmosphere was very light for an interview.

The closer was when she asked me if there was anything I wanted to add that they may not have asked me. In summation I told her, and I have no idea if this was way too juvenile of a response but whatever:
Working for the PD is what I want to be when I grow up.
And it's true. I want to be in a position to help people, to aid in rehabilitation, to encourage personal growth. This is the perfect opportunity to branch out in other directions, be they detention center supervisor or perhaps even counseling in the form of a probation officer. So I think I finally figured it out and I'm fast approaching 29.

This post was pretty heavy compared to my usual witty banter but I really feel good right now about a lot of life choices I've been making and I just wanted to share the vibes. I'd love to hear similar experiences if you've got 'em.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Welcome To The Suck

After much anticipation and waiting, I finally made it to Jarhead last night. All the Zorros and Chicken Littles of the world couldn't amount to this one movie. I'm not one to give away plot lines, but really, I can't say this movie really has a plot. It's more of "a day in the life" sort of feel. Based on Swofford's memoir, it basically follows one marine from his first day at boot camp to the anticlimactic finish of the Desert Storm war. Jarhead has themes anyone can relate to: friendship, boredom at the workplace (so to speak), homesickness, and the loss of trust in a long distance relationship. If it's true what this movie conveyed, then (pardon my French) fuck a bitch that will cheat on her man while he's away at war, defending her country. And that's all I will say about that. This is probably the best movie about war I've ever seen. It presents war with a human touch instead of a hero's point of view. Scenes of casualties and destruction, explosions and vast desert landscapes are shown in a way civilians can relate to... but then again, we tend to forget those brave Marines are just people like us in a uniform with some weapons. The emotions are the same. Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx give amazingly down-to-earth performances. I can't get over how much Peter Sarsgaard sounds like John Malkovich but he too was impressive. I'm no Siskel & Ebert (or whoever the 2 of them are these days) but I give this one a big thumbs up.

Safe For Work HNT

Not sure but I think I spent my sexiness on the other HNT posts... tattoos, cleavage, piercing... what's left? So I submit for your approval a "Where's Randi?" themed number. Some people have writer's block, I have half-nekkid block. Please don't judge me.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Word Play

I'm not one to post forwards but I do so love me some Scrabble...

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I ' M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you
rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter
only once)



Boy am I glad I named this blog what I did because I sure love to talk about myself. Me me me. All me, all the time. But I digress (nod to April on that one).
Last night I made it to my second night in a row at the gym. I was feeling a little sorry for myself because my "fat pants" were fitting a little snug. Also, thanks to 35 mph winds I was looking a little worse for the wear. That all changed, however, when I walked through the door and got a "Damn, girl" from a young man exiting the gym. Apparently even when I feel my worse, someone out there thinks I'm worthy of a damn. If that makes any sense.
The second thing to fluff my ego during this visit was changing from my work clothes into my workout gear. In just a scan around that locker room I realized that I look damn good naked. At least I do compared to the women I was naked with.
So not that anyone out there really gives a shit, but I just wanted to let you know I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and wise.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Office Fat

Ok, so I know I said I wouldn't use the eff word any more on this blog but I changed my mind. Like BFF says, I always say "never" but "never" never means "never." Well that's just the way the cookie crumbles. And speaking of cookies, if a day went by in this office that someone didn't bring some sort of sweet or baked good I would literally fall out of my chair. The coronary that may or may not be the cause of said fall would be from the copious amount of junk food we consume here.
For instance, yesterday someone brought a cheesecake in the morning. After lunch, I came back to find a bag of another co-worker's children's Halloween candies that she took from them to give to us because they "had enough." So thoughtful! Add that to the jar of candy my boss keeps on his desk at all times and, Houston, we have a problem. It probably doesn't help, either, that we have a banquet table just waiting to hold our potential feasting in a central location in the office. This morning, we were graced with cinnamon rolls and tomorrow is a Thanksgiving potluck! As a matter of fact, someone just now walked by my desk after passing the aforementioned table and proclaimed, "Gee, you can gain weight just walking past here."
Even our fundraisers are centered around food. Sales of candy, baked goods, even tamales... And that cancer relay I participated in? Well we're having a closing luncheon today. Is it any wonder, then, that I have these extra pounds I'm desperate to shed?
And thank you, everyone, for your comments that say I don't look heavy in my pictures. Let's just say I know how to work a camera and have learned over my lifetime to wear clothing that flatters. I also thank Paris Hilton for her endless instruction in the art of posing. This week I'm using all of my willpower to end the habit of grazing I've developed since my employment here. Add that to my newfound gym attendance and I'll be at my goal weight in no time. Wish me good luck and God speed.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Deez Nuts!

Photo credits go to my friend Oly. Let your dirty mind do the walking. These pictures are worth way more than 1,000 words.

Wastin' Time

If you're looking for something to do, why not animate yourself South Park style? I did and clearly you can see that the resemblance is uncanny.

Weekend Wrap-Up

For the most part, this had to be one of the more uneventful weekends of late. On Friday I did get a chance to catch a matinee of The Legend of Zorro and it was pretty entertaining, reminiscent of Indiana Jones or Romancing the Stone. They just don't make movies like that anymore, full of evil henchmen and swashbuckling. Plus, staring at Catherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas for 90 minutes is pretty easy on the eyes.

That afternoon I found out that Vehicular Manslaughter entered her terrible twos and blind-sided me with a nail in the sidewall of her front left tire. If you'd like to get an idea of what that nail looked like, picture the bolt in the side of Frankenstein's neck. Apparently I went with the top of the line model and the Michelin racing tires on my car do not come cheap. $230 later she's back on her feet again and I'm broke as a joke.

Saturday night I went out on a "date" with the "normal" guy from Friendster. I have to say I was impressed that he thought ahead and made reservations at a cute little restaurant called Nona's Courtyard in downtown Ventura. It was semi-outdoors patio seating and served deeeelicious Italian cuisine. Conversation was also good but I don't know if it was because of him or the fact that I can just about talk to anyone. What turned me off a bit about him was that he showed up in a wrinkled button down shirt covered by a sweatshirt of all things. And not a cool-guy, skater/surfer hoodie... but your standard, big, sloppy sweatshirt. And he was wearing jeans. So whatever, lots of people wear jeans but this was a nicer restaurant and I was in a sweater, slacks and heels... first impressions, people! Have we learned nothing from our Head & Shoulders commercials?And what's up with people posting pictures on their profile that are at least ten years old? If you've gained 20 lbs. and lost most of your hair, fess up. It's going to come out anyway. Also, he didn't pay for my meal. So I guess we won't be seeing one another again. Too bad, so sad.

Sunday's hardly worth mentioning: ate and slept all day long. But I guess that's what Sunday's are for, preparing for yet another Monday. Hope yours is a good one.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Orale Dia De Los Veteranos

And how did I celebrate Veteran's Day? By getting my teeth cleaned. So for those of you that are keeping track of just how parochial I am: I get good grades (A on my paper, bitches!) and I have no cavities.

So, back to the point I was supposed to make. I would like to give thanks to both my dad and my grandpa for being veterans. If it wasn't for their time stationed together in the Navy, my dad would have never met my mom and I would not be here, blogging for the masses. A long, long time ago my dad was stationed in Exmouth, Australia with my grandpa. Before becoming a naval base, the town had a population of ZERO. My ma was a young, foxy lady at that time and the only gal within many miles that was the datin' age for the boys. A love was born and its legacy continues.

Also I want to give a shout out to the boys at war while I type this. May God or the benevolent being that watches over us, bring them home soon. Enough is enough.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Please enjoy the likeness of my love. I just want to give a little shout-out to the best car company ever. This month marks the 2-year anniversary of the addition of Vehicular Manslaughter to my life. So what if I consider her human? You would, too. Anyway, this is a very special time and Volkswagen actually acknowledged this monumental event:

That's right. Not only did they send a card, but the gift of fresh air as well. The card reads:
Wow, two years already. This is certainly cause for celebration. And since no special occasion is complete without presents, we got you the proper second anniversary gift: a pretty china tea set. No tea bag (haha tea bag!) required. Just rip the package open and voila - instant aromatic revelry. You can even take the party with you wherever you go. So happy second anniversary.
Your Friends at Volkswagen

It's the little things like this that made me stick with VW.

Movie Review

Last night after a long day I treated myself to a cartoon because mentally I am apparently 9 years old and simply cannot embrace adulthood. That and I'm still sick so I like to pamper myself like a child. Feel sorry for me, won't you?
The freebie I chose to devote over an hour of my life to this go 'round was Chicken Little. Disney movies of late seem to be in a bit of a slump which is okay. They've got some pretty fierce competition with Dreamworks and the newly separated Pixar so it's understandable. I didn't go into this viewing expecting very much so I was able to get a couple of hearty guffaws out of the experience. The very-Disney single-parent theme was present as was a really nice moral of the story: you have to have faith in your kids and do anything you can to protect them. Thrown in the middle of that is a lesson on the importance of dorky friends and "closure." It was borderline dramatic and preachy at times but it's held together nicely by a star-studded vocal cast including but not limited to: Don Knotts as Turkey Lurkey, Garry Marshall, Adam West, Joan Cusak, Steve Zahn, Zach Braff and Amy Sedaris of Strangers With Candy fame (a hilarious yet short-lived sitcom destined to be an equally enjoyable movie one day). And that is only a handful of the names I can remember from the credits. So there you have it. A review for a movie I doubt any of you will see unless you have children of viewing age.

HNT for Maine

As promised, here's the belly shot.

And there's a song that says it never rains in Southern California but that's a damn lie so here's proof. It's been a while since I saw the whole arch of a rainbow but there it was, right over the old workplace. And how about that wicked sky? (I'll do anything to get the focus off the Buddha belly.) Happy HNT, kids. And happy 24th birthday to my baby brother, Cyoooorteeeees. Pictured below for maximum photo capacity blogging purposes :o)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Why MSN Scares Me

Travel that is possibly business-related could be coming up for you, dear Taurus. A friend or colleague may accompany you. Expect the unexpected where your career is concerned; unusual developments may open up new doors for you to pursue different goals. You might want to take a course of some kind, either for pleasure or for the sake of advancement. Your mind is especially sharp, so whatever you learn at this time you're likely to retain.

This is my horoscope for today. I just booked a flight to see BFF for a long weekend in New York in December. While I won't be accompanied by anyone, creepy how they knew I'd be traveling. As far as my "career" is concerned, I'm interviewing for the Records Tech position at the Police Department on the 17th of this month. Also, of late I've been given some more responsibilities as far as Payroll is concerned. And courses? Well I am currently enrolled in school and am doing remarkably well grade-wise and will be getting my degree in December. This degree will earn me a raise and the way I look at it, that's advancement. Now, a lot of you may consider this coincidence but this is not the first time MSN horoscopes have been creepily accurate. Actually, it's pretty much dead on the money 4 out of 5 days of the week I check it. I think they read my e-mails or something. Big Brother may be closer than we think, and I'm not talking reality TV here.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I Voted!

But did I get a little sticker that says so? Negative. I thought the sticker distribution at voting polls was mandatory yet twice I've gone to the same location and have left sans sticker. Oh well. I didn't do it for the sticker anyway. I voted because a former Austrian movie star (a.ka. The Terminator) is my governor and because I know that if I don't, we will end up with another G-Dubya disaster and I just am not having that. So the first thing I did this morning after I rolled out of bed late having not been awoken by my alarm clock as the power went out last night while I slept, was drive to the polling place by my house. After only a half-hour open there had already been 15 people ahead of me so that's a good sign that people are actually voting. I punched out my 8 little choices according to the relentless campaigning done by both my television and my work union and I was good to go. When I got to work the first thing I did was browbeat my co-workers into voting, too. It's our civic duty. So now I'll tell you, blog readers, to get off your arse and git'r'done. I thank you. America thanks you.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Boy am I glad today's almost over. I woke up with a nasty chest cold but shan't go into the gory details as I don't want you to boot at your desk. Needless to say, this is the result of copious amounts of alcohol that poisoned my body into submission. And let us not forget the cilia in my lungs punishing me for paralyzing them with nicotine. For someone that is a social smoker and definitely doesn't do it on the daily, I sure put 'em away like a champ this weekend. It's a shame, too, because now I'm sick and I'll have to go on some sort of anti-smoking campaign. Plus, being in a Biology class made me really see what the hell kind of damage I'm doing in the sake of a good time. Not to get all serious on you, just trying to figure out why I partied down this weekend to the point of making my body shut down on me. Plus this time change is really doing a number on me. It's like I can't get enough sleep... I mean that wedding was an afternoon affair so the reception was early, meaning it was dark by 6 and everyone was trashed at that time. Makes for a bit of a wasted day when you don't even know what hour it is and you're drunk before the double digits. So I guess the moral of today's little story is: Don't burn your wick at both ends. You'll pay for it later (a.k.a. burnout).

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Ok, several hours have passed and I've long since cleared the dishes at my pity party, table of 1. In hindsight, which is always 20/20, it seems I may have come across as quite pathetic. Let me just say, I am living a good life. I have my health, an amazing circle of friends, my family is great, I'm kicking butt in school even if it is a bit behind schedule and in looking at events of late, I have a pretty gnarly social life. I mean, hockey games, hip hop shows, weddings... the list goes on and on. At breakfast this morning we were discussing the bride's dying father. While I found it to be quite depressing, my mother found it inspirational. She saw man had set a goal to walk his daughter down the aisle and he did it. I saw my dad, sick and weak and frail. So I guess in times like this it's a matter of seeing whether the glass is half-full or half-empty. That's a problem I struggle with. So I would just like to say that even though there are times when being single is definitely a drag, things could definitely be a whole lot worse. And with that, have a lovely Sunday because it's back to the grind tomorrow.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The Blues

Ever head of the Baby Blues? Well I've got the wedding blues. While it was a beautiful ceremony with the bride's dying father walking her down the aisle and my brother making quite a handsome groomsman, I'm pretty sure there's nothing more depressing than going to a wedding reception solo. Mostly it's the dancing I think. Then again, it could just be that I'm tired of being single. I'm ready to fall in love and I guess that's my curse. From what I hear, things like that only come to you when you least expect it. Shit... this is a bleak post. Then again, it's 9:45 on a Saturday night and I'm already cozy in bed. Alone. Watching Happy Gilmore. Jesus Christ, take me now, I'm ready for you.

Friday, November 04, 2005


I believe there's a little ditty that goes a little something like this: There's got to be a morning after. Man, ain't that the truth. After no dinner, a screwdriver, 2 Coors Lights, a shot of tequila and another beer mama don't feel so nice today. But it was sure worth it! Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Ghostface from Wu Tang, Pharaoh just to name a few. The highlight performance was a group of guys I've never heard of before called Fort Minor and they had back-up singers, a whole strings section and a guy on drums. One word: Tight. If you like hip hop at all pick up their album "The Rising Tied" when it comes out on the 22nd. So after several hours of doing some nasty, drunken freak dancin' to some pristine hip hop with my brother's big black friend Freddy I was hardly able to walk. Thank God for Carl's, Jr. I can't say that their sourdough bacon cheeseburger was good, per se, but I can thank it for saving my life. TGIF.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


Thought I'd post this on Thursday EST. And why the heck not I ask you? I'm tossing this bad boy up there to say farewell to my beloved baseball season. We'll get 'em next year, Dodgers. Please try to maintain your composure. I know how titillating my heaving bosom can be. Care for a back story? Here goes. Picture this, day game, no less than 100 degrees outside. Sweat dripping from every pore. I have sunscreen everywhere but on my removable tattoo. My Brother Curtis says, "You're gonna burn that on your boob, idiot." I say, "Nah." Guess who won that round?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

No Mention of Humping

It seems as though my blogs of late have been very graphic intensive and for that I apologize. Why I feel the need to apologize to a dozen strangers is really beyond me but it's just my nature to be a doormat I guess. No, that's not true. Anyway I digress. I've been super busy at work lately learning the ins and outs of payroll and in the evenings I'm studying like a madwoman or throwing research papers together shoddily.
Fascinating, Randi, do go on. Oh, I will blog world, thank you.
Got my progress check and I'm getting an A in my class and a B in my lab so I think things are solid. Watch out Associates Degree, here I come. Make way for me, Graduation Ceremony. My paper is under my belt and I'm good to go. And it's a good effing thing, too, because unbeknownst to me, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. That's right, the Breed Love Odyssey featuring Mos Def and Talib Kweli that I will be attending is TOMORROW night, not Friday. Not like I have on my calendar. That means I get to make a mad dash to class to toss the paper at my professor before I leave for L.A. to party down. So that's what's going on with me. How about you?
And in honor of my professor I bring you a long awaited word of the day. Use it or lose it:
cattywompus adj 1. diagonally across from something else. ("Her house was conveniently located cattywompus from the post office." "The wastebasket into which she attempted to vomit, was only cattywompus from her mouth. Nevertheless, she regretfully painted the walls instead.") 2. out of alignment. ("I need to get my wheels aligned. They're sitting all cattywompus.")

Happy Day!

If you get a chance, click BFF's link and give her a big old birthday shout out!

And also, for all of you Spanish speakers, Feliz Día de los Muertos. Here's a brief, far from in-depth history (do your own research, dang!):
More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish Conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death.
It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 3,000 years. A ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate.
A ritual known today as Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.

And to that I say, "Orale."