It's all about me...

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Day 2

So I did it. Yesterday I had the willpower to go all day without any kind of sugary snack. That's right, everything I ingested was on the Nutritional Pyramid. By the end of the night I thought I was going to go crazy with desire for the bite-sized Hershey chocolates by the TV but I just said no. And the shocking part about it? I survived. And today, I had a yummy salad for lunch and my mom and I split a tiny Frosty from Wendy's. She's a firm believer in not sacrificing too much too soon. To tell you the truth, it's been easiest avoiding snacks in the office even though one of the ladies here has the never-empty bowl of Peanut M&Ms. I'm sticking with rapid gum chewing or fruits and veggies. So far so good. It's a shame this is all for naught for soon I will be in New York. Land of yummies.

Monday, April 25, 2005

The "D" Word

Yes, it's true. I've succumbed to an actual diet. Not a gimmick where I sacrifice everything. Nope, this time my ma has taken the bull by the horns and she's laid out a plan. I'm to eat small portions, say no to second servings, avoid desserts and consume only half of what is served to me at a restaurant. She managed to lose 30 lbs. by doing this so I thought I would give it a shot. After all, the reunion is only a little over 3 months away and if I'm going to stun the masses I better get started working myself into shape. We also decided that Sundays would be a day to allow desserts seeing as it will be Mother's Day and my birthday soon so cake is inevitable. My BFF and I tossed around the idea of sticking to drinking on the weekends only and I'm definitely going to have to gym daily. My ambition in this department has definitely been lacking of late but I think my trip to NY and Philly will get me back in the spirit of walking so I'm not too worried about it. Can't let the good doctor down, though, and it was his direct order to do at least an hour a day. So here goes nothing. Or maybe everything.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Women's Health II

As a soon-to-be 28-year old woman, I sometimes feel like taking this class is more of a refresher course. You learn a lot of what you did when you were younger: practice safe sex, say no do drugs, eat right, exercise, don't smoke. Then you read a chapter on mental health or chronic disease. It's incredible to see that something you are diagnosed with, like my hypothyroid, is extremely common in women. Then, you start to read symptoms of depression and other mental health-related disorders and you start to think that you show signs of all of them. Call me paranoid, but every time I read about any diseases I start to look for them in myself. I'm probably not suffering from OCD but why do I count the stairs or steps I take when I'm alone? The thought of having an eating disorder never even crossed my mind until I read about binge eating and considered how many times my BFF and I obsess over the food we eat, the times we over-indulge or the perceived size of our asses. It's tragic to see how the media influences how we feel about ourselves. I'm 5'8 and go between a size 10 and 12. Average. Like most of the world. Yet when I look in the mirror, I borderline hate what I see and when I visit the doctor he plants that seed that I should lose a huge amount of weight. When did I stop being happy with me? And if I finally do lose my girth, will that happiness return?

Saturday, April 23, 2005

More Needles Than A Heroin Junkie

This past week I did my best to keep the medical professionals in my area very busy. On Monday I woke up with little tiny bumps all over my body so I decided Wednesday that three days of dreaded itchiness was about all I could take which led me to my physician. He claims I had an allergic reaction (to what I still don't know) and shot me in the right hip/butt area with a steroid that ought to ease my suffering. Three days later and I'm still feeling that dull ache.
He then decided to discuss the thyroid issue again. He boldly told me that I should lose 30 lbs. to bring myself down to 138 and that if exercising an hour a day wasn't doing it, I should consider exercising more. I really don't know how much extra time he thinks I have but it's truly not an option at this time. However, my mom has made it her personal mission to follow the gospel of the good doctor and is putting me on a strict diet starting Monday. Here we go again...
Yesterday I had to get my blood test to make sure this thyroid thing isn't just a fluke and I have to hand it to the phlebotomist, she did a bang up job on the 3-vial draw job. I didn't even feel the prick and all that remains as evidence of my run-in with the needle is a little red dot. No bruising at all. Well done. After that, I had to get a tooth pulled. Just the way I like to spend my Friday off. As if the anxiety wasn't enough, I had to get another needle, this time full of novacaine in my gums. Is there anyone that can stand this nightmare? Then I had the privilege of being awake as the dentist put more pressure in my mouth than I have ever felt in my young lifetime. It spread across the bridge of my nose and shot through my sinuses. I've never claimed to be brave and was unable to prove myself as such during this dreaded experience. My entire body shook like a tremor was rumbling from head to foot and I gripped the technicians hand like she was my mommy. I could see my shiny red blood on the dentist's white gloves and even the threaded needle going in and out of my mouth but thank the lord, could feel no pain. And when he proudly displayed the product of his labor, I was face to face with a mutant tooth with roots 1/2 an inch long and shaped like a V. And that is why dental health and maintenance is so very important. Plus I was rewarded with Vicodin. You can't beat that with a stick.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Social Stalking

While I am not necessarily proud of this, I am and always will be a social stalker. I don't have any concept of how many phone calls a day is too many. If it were up to me, I'd probably call you and/or want to spend every day with you just to kill the monotony of another day alone. When it comes to dating, I am unable to recognize the rules of, let alone grasp the concept of playing, what is commonly known as "the game." If I like you, I'm going to tell you. Not two or three days later. Probably that day. Or for sure the next. Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at people for way beyond the appropriate amount of time of comfort. I think this has happened a lot more since I have been scoping the scene for some of the alumni from my high school since I'm planning the 10-year reunion. Some people are too shy to approach a total stranger. Not me. I just go up and decide I'd rather make a fool of myself than miss the opportunity of talking to someone I may or may not know. Yah. Cuz I'm crazy.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Lunch With The Old People

Every other Friday I spend my lunch hour with my Gran and Grandpa. It's my way of not only being the good granddaughter, but keeping them stimulated as well. What is shocking to me, however, is the amount of food my Gran thinks I can consume in approximately 40 minutes. Seldom has it been a simple sandwich laid before me. No, oft times I'm greeted with the likes of meat pie, fried chicken or crab meat on a toasted, buttered roll. Add to that at least one side dish and the promise of seconds AND dessert and you are left with an overstuffed me. But every good Italian Gran has to have an evil sidekick. Enter Grandpa. While he has always been know as a teaser, his humor borders on cruel at times. So in one breath, he is demanding that my Gran serve me an extra helping yet has the nerve to question how it's possible they make shorts big enough to cover an ass of mine's size. And that, my friends, is why I love lunch with the elderly.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Workplace

It's an interesting dynamic being on the lowest rung of the ladder after previously holding a higher position professionally. How people perceive that when you ask questions you must clearly know nothing rather than seeing you are trying to learn how to master your craft so to speak. Why do people in positions of power ask for your thoughts when they don't have the slightest inclination to use your feedback? Is it an I-told-you-so mentality when your fresh suggestions and opinions aren't picked up in favor of going down the beaten path? Will I one day be that lady that demands things are done my way or the highway? Sometimes I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. It would make the day-to-day grind seem less unbearable.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Perspective

It all looks pretty bleak until your boss tells you her husband's cancerous tumor is growing. Then you realize that all of the little stuff really doesn't matter. Like not loving your job. Or being single. Or maybe those 15 extra pounds you're carrying. Or that you don't have plans for the evening. When it all comes down to it, we're just trying to survive. And some are having a harder time than others.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Fever Pitch & The Dodgers

Ever since watching the Sox win the 2004 World Series, I have been anticipating this movie. During the live coverage of their victory, if you looked very closely, you had the pleasure of seeing Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon smooching alongside the celebrating team. Fever Pitch did not disappoint me. It was definitely not what one would expect from a Farrelly brothers movie seeing as it lacked locker room jokes and was practically dripping with sentimentality. It tapped into both the baseball fan and the lovesick puppy inside of me. When Jimmy's character describes why he loves the game (the colors, the sounds and just the feeling of being there) and Drew calls him a romantic, I realized I wasn't alone in my passion about a team that more than often disappoints: My Los Angeles Dodgers. But last night I watched them reign triumphant after an amazing 9th inning comeback against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Just when you thought they were done for, they make you remember why you loyally claim to be True Blue.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Ew.

Just for the sheer gross-out factor I'm going to put this out there. It's one of those situations that since I had to suffer through it, I figure everyone should have to. This morning on the eliptical trainer there was this smell... I couldn't quite place it at first and then it dawned on me: someone didn't brush his teeth. I could literally smell his mouth funk two machines over. Now, I'm not saying you should shower before you go to work out as you're only going to sweat all over yourself anyway, but if your halitosis is seeping out of your personal zone and is affecting other people, well you should be ashamed of yourself. Brush your teeth, people. The dentist only requires 3 minutes a morning. You can do it.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Oh Dark Early

That's my dad's military speak for the hour I wake up to go to the gym. I'd be lying if I said it was easy to get out of bed when the sky is still as dark as it was when I went to sleep but somehow I manage to do it about 4 days a week. On a good week that is... Today was a good day and I stumbled out of bed at 5 a.m. and dragged my butt to the gym on doctor's orders. That's right. When your doctor tells you he wants you to get a good sweat going for an hour a day, you do what he says. So I did. And I realized I've watched many a sunrise while on the treadmill. It really is surprising what a good workout first thing in the morning will do for your day. That's one whole hour when I can rock out to my headphones and think of nothing. It's a time when I can just sweat out all the bad thoughts I've had floating around in my head and just feel release. It's a wonder why I can't conjure up these positive thoughts about the gym on the days when I can't convince my body it's time to wake up but I figure as long as I keep trying, I'm doing more than most. And that ain't too shabby.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Hypothyroid

So go figure. All this time I thought there was something wrong with me and there actually is. It turns out I'm not just chubby and tired, but there's a reason for it. Hypothyroidism. Isn't that a fun word? It turns out some of the symptoms are things I've been feeling for a long time: depression, feelings of low self-worth, low energy levels, excessive need for sleep, weight gain, inability to lose weight even with exercise and dieting, thinning hair, dry skin and (my personal favorite) constipation. For years I've been wondering why I felt so off balance and now I know. My grandma on my dad's side also had hypothyroid. I was also stoked to find out it's not just your run of the mill depression. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just firmly believed that if it was depression I could snap out of it on my own without medication by just kicking up the seratonin with some exercise. But now I have a little pill that should make things all better. Gotta love modern medicine.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Sin City

In order to make up for the less than satisfactory movie viewing experience of Beauty Shop, I jumped right into seeing Sin City the next day. As Robert Rodriguez created the wet dream that is Desperado, he has gradually become my favorite director. Not so much because his stories are phenomenal or life changing, but because they are original pieces of eye candy. And he pretty much makes them out of his home studio and is responsible for nearly every aspect of his movies' creation right down to composing his own scores. His films are edgy and visually stimulating and that's all they need to be. Sin City was literally like watching a comic book come to life on the big screen, complete with narration. Black and white with only the occasional element highlighted in color, filmed mostly on green screen, it might as well have been an animated film. Plus there's nothing like gratuitous violence, good looking bad guys and weapon-wielding prostitutes in little more than fishnets and a strategically placed piece of cloth. I give it my thumbs up. As far as storyline, just keep in mind IT IS A COMIC BOOK MOVIE and enjoy the ride.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Beauty Shop & The Painted Ladies

Yesterday I had the misfortune of believing that Beauty Shop would be a good movie. It wasn't, however, and I've learned I expect way too much from my visits to the cinema. Rather than settle for 2 hours of mindless entertainment, I anticipate a story line with a plot. Nowadays, though, it seems that movie makers are too busy using their product as a set up for sequels. It leaves a viewer with too many unanswered questions and the dangling plot lines lead to a sense of confusion and a feeling of unfulfillment. In other words, wait for this one to come on the TV. Don't even rent it at Blockbuster.
But on the way home from that movie, I bore witness to a very unusual occurrence. Apparently because of the heavy rains we experienced there is an influx of Painted Lady butterflies migrating from Mexico through Ventura County. They resemble moths in size but they're black, orange and white. Not nearly as stunning as a Monarch. But they are out in droves, swarms even. You can't even swerve to avoid them and they end up on your windshield and stuck in your grill. Definitely not something you see every day and it absolutely made up for the bad movie.